Mistletoe Mystery
by AnonymousDH
Summary: It's always him even when it's never been him. He isn't the guy she's still hung up on. The guy she kissed that one Christmas night years ago and hasn't seen since. #DARVEY COLLEGE AU. 'Pick-your-plot' fic. Includes most suits characters. Happy Holidays!
1. Chapter 1

_Hello everyone,_

 _so I've been wanting to do this for a while but since time has been very limited I decided to give myself a longer timeframe to do this (yes I did only start writing with 15 days till Christmas to go oops*) but here it is. My pick-your-plot fic, which is based on twelve polls I ran on Twitter, each with around 200 votes. So to start off let me do a little recap of the questions I asked and the winning option is presented in bold, so you know what you can (at the very least) expect in this fic._

Polls:

\- **Not together yet** / in a relationship

\- Angst / Romance / **Both**

\- 1 / 2 / **3 flames** (*you filthy animals*)

\- Coffee / **Scotch** / Red Wine / **Hot Chocolate**

\- ZSLWW / **apartment 206** / **Harvey's apartment** / other

\- Secret Santa / **Mistletoe** / 12 days of Xmas / Advent Calendar

\- **All I want for Xmas** / Last Xmas / Couldn't it be Xmas everyday

\- **Mike and Rachel** / Marcus and Lily / Jessica

\- **Red** / Black / Blue / Green

\- Light Snow / **Middle Snow** / Heavy Snow

\- **Share a bed** / Fake Dating

\- am I gonna be an **Angle** / Korsh

 _Because I'm me this, of course, became a super long fic, meaning I'm going to have to split it into two parts. Rating T/M the latter for anything that would fit that category (violence excluded, it's a holiday fic after all) so you have been 'warned' but also you know what you voted for, looking at those three flames._

 _I hope your picks made it (*winks at Laura*), and if not that you still enjoy this College AU fic. Let me know in the comments what you thought. Merry belated Christmas and fingers crossed, may the Grinch grant our_ darvey _wishes in 8b/9a XOXO- M_

 _*I really only started on December 23rd_

* * *

 **Mistletoe Mystery**

 **PART ONE**

* * *

 _Tuesday, October 30th, 2018_

"I think we should break up."

Her eyes snap open in a beat, head lifting from her arm as she watches Mark move across his dorm room. She watches him pace around for a few seconds, one hand tapping against the other in a nervous rhythm and it's only when his gaze lands on her again that she realises she should have responded by now.

"What?" she stammers now, finally hearing her boyfriend's words but not fully registering the meaning of them yet.

"We. I want to break up with you."

Her lips slowly part when she hears the words again, she stares at him dumbfounded now and it's the moment tears should come and in the past have come even when she was the one to end things. The fact that they don't appear now should tell her enough already but at the moment she's just taken by surprise to realise that. The lack of an emotional response is automatically covered by her rational side. She purses herself up on the couch, turning to face Mark a bit more now. "Why?"

Mark looks at her, shakes his head slightly and then laughs. His somewhat nervous chuckle echoing through the room and filling the tense silence between them. He opens his mouth to speak, but reconsiders.

She uses the silent seconds to come up with a reason for his declaration. Reasons even. Their age difference though two years isn't much. Their different interests; he never really enjoyed the theatre and it was practically what she lived and breathed but it hadn't been a problem so far. Their backgrounds; he came from the city and she from the upstate countryside.

Her mind is on overdrive as she watches him struggle to form an answer, another reason coming to mind with every second that passes but when he finally speaks the one word answers is the only things she never thought off and floors her all the same.

"Harvey."

"Harvey?" Donna parrots in a beat.

"Harvey," he answers firmer this time around, nodding as he pronounces the two syllables to emphasise how serious he is about his reason.

A nervous chuckle escapes her lips and she finally pushes herself onto her feet, taking two steps towards her ex as she confronts his words. "Harvey," she repeats once more in disbelief. "My best friend?" she adds, not sure if she's trying to clarify it for herself or him but there's only one Harvey in her life anyway. "He's the reason you want to end this?" she asks, signalling her hand in between them.

"Yeah," the economics student answers, shoulders shrugging as he speaks but he can see on the face of his ex-girlfriend that his answer won't be sufficient enough. "It's just…"

"Just… what?"

"It feels like there three people in this relationship."

"Three people." She laughs now, her right hand landing on her forehead. "You …" She shakes her head and points at him, taking a step back to the couch to retrieve her cardigan. "You're being ridiculous," she calls after him as she forcefully slips both her arms through the sleeves, swinging the thick fabric across her frame.

"Ridiculous," Mark snaps back as she marches to the chair in the corner of the room.

"Yes, ridiculous," she retorts, lifting her scarf from it and wraps it around her neck, she pulls her wool coat off of the chair next. Her angry movements preventing her from noticing how her keys slip out of one of the pockets and onto the floor. She's halfway to the front door when Mark's words stop her in her tracks.

"Then pick me."

She turns to look over her shoulder in his direction, the look on her face probably the reason for him to repeat the three words. "What?" she whispers.

"Harvey or me," Mark challenges her calling him ridiculous. "If I'm being ridiculous, then pick me."

She takes a deep breath and bites down on her tongue, she wants nothing more than to prove him wrong because he is. His reason is ridiculous and out of the blue, no grounds for it having become a reason in the first place and yet she can't. Won't. She won't let him win.

"You…" she croaks out, trying to keep her voice steady and suppresses the anger she feels inside, that outing itself in the way she wraps the belt around her waist and takes the last four steps to the door. Opening it in one big swing, she looks at Mark one last time. "You and I. We're done."

The strides onto the hallway are bigger and determined but she still shudders when the sound of the door falling shut behind her echoes through the empty space. Her breath hitching in the back of her throat when reality catches up with her, she brings her hand to cover her mouth when the first sob follows.

She isn't crying over Mark, just like her tears weren't for Mitchell or Stephen or anyone before or in between but because the reason is somehow always the same. No matter what she tells them, or what reality entails. It's always him.

Even when it's never been him.

He isn't the guy she's still hung up on. The guy she kissed that one Christmas night years ago and hasn't seen since. The guy she still wishes she'd run into and the guy she wishes each and every relationship she has had was with. The guy, with the exception of her roommate Rachel, none of them knew about.

And thus they all blamed it on the one person it wasn't about.

Her best friend.

 _Her_ Harvey.

She exhales deeply, determined to shake her annoyance off before she enters her apartment building. Stepping over the big puddle she rushes up the three concrete steps before pushing the big green door open to the communal hallway.

Wiping the droplets of rain from her face with her sleeve, removing a remainder of tears along with them she slowly starts her climb of the stairs. The two flight of stairs up never having felt this heavy, not even when drunk.

She is beyond tired, of the argument she keeps on having. The recurring theme of the breakups in her life being out of her control.

Sighing once more she blindly stuffs her hand in the pocket of her coat in search for her key. Rummaging around twice she pulls it out empty again and it takes a repeated action with her left hand and the other pocket of her coat for her to realise she must have lost her key.

"Fuck."

Her foot automatically kicks against the black door with the brass 206 written on it and she winces in pain. Toes curling in her boots as she curses her against, this time knocking on the door instead.

"Rach," Donna calls for her roommate. "It's … me," the last word leaving her lips barely above a whisper as she realises at that moment that the brunette wouldn't be home for Halloween.

"Shit," she curses now, patting the pockets of her coat again to check for her key once last time. She chastises herself now for Rachel's idea of hiding a key behind the planter on the landing and she can't help but give the inanimate object an evil glare.

Her gaze in the process landing on the staircase, the sight alone shouldn't be something strange but it makes her sigh now as she takes a step towards it and glances up at the floors above her.

She contemplates her options, even pulling out her phone to call Rachel but she knows it won't be of any use. Checking the time then, she realises that even if it's late, she has no other choice and with a deep sigh she begins the climb of the next three floors.

—

"Oh my god."

He smirks proudly, stares at the ceiling of his room as his head lands on his pillow. "Harvey will do."

His comeback results in a playful slap of his arm, hitting the exact spot her nails had just left their mark.

"That was amazing."

He lets out a deep breath, his smile already faded and his gaze blank. He wishes he could say the same in return, but great would be a stretch. Average at most, enough to kill the itch that's for sure.

"I am indeed," he answers then, not wanting to ignore her but ignoring her all the same. It takes another slow inhale for him to turn on his side and muster the resemblance of a smile before he leans back in and kisses the brunette again.

A defensive mechanism to numb the emptiness he feels inside, that he has been feeling inside for a while now. It's something he can't place and feels no need to define. His reputation not the result of that confusion but fuelled by it all the same.

It's not like he doesn't enjoy it at all but his actions are on autopilot, his lips moving against hers like a trained machine. Almost a show, but it shuts up his thoughts and that's enough for him. Enough to get through.

The brunette pulls back when three loud knocks echo through the apartment, questioning blue eyes staring up at him as she whispers his name.

He merely acts by pulling her closer. Telling her to ignore it and he tries to kiss her again. It's only when he hears his name again, louder this time and definitely another voice that he pulls back. His head snapping in the direction of the front door because he'd recognise that voice anywhere.

Rolling away, he quickly slips on his boxer shorts. Ignoring the brunette's voice calling his name and the arm reaching to pull him back, he gets up instead. Picking his black t-shirt from the floor, he tosses her dress over the bed as he slips his shirt on and makes his way out of his room and to the front door.

He opens it in a beat, her name already leaving his lips before he's seen his best friend. It's when he sees her face that his own falls and the curiosity he felt before makes place for concern. "Donna," he calls for her again. "Are you -"

"Oh my god."

Both best friends turn to look at the third person in the room, the petite brunette standing just behind Harvey.

"You've got to be kidding me. You have a girlfriend?!" The latter question directed to Harvey, but before he gets a chance to answer another one follows. Directed at the redhead this time. "You're his girlfriend?"

Donna rolls her eyes at the way the brunette points up and down between them, taking a step forward she bobs her head to the side and flashes the girl a smile. "Ooh, what if I am."

Harvey's mouth drops at Donna's answer and his own rebuttal is forgotten as he can merely turn to look at her, unsure of what's going on at the moment. The loud sigh that leaves the brunette's lips mere background noise.

It's only when the girl's flat palm hits his cheek and is followed by her telling him he doesn't have to bother to call her that he snaps out of his thoughts.

The girl storms off and pushes Donna out of the way with her shoulder, dramatically making her way to the elevator.

"He wasn't going to anyway," Donna calls after the girl, smirking to herself when another shriek fills the hallway before she disappears in the elevator.

"Well, thanks."

She turns to look at Harvey, her smirk fading again when she sees his face but she doesn't regret doing it. "What?" she adds now with a shrug. "You weren't going to call her."

He, indeed, wasn't planning on doing so but he can't let her get away with it so easily and thus he objects. Or tries to do so. "I -"

Her head automatically tilting to the right the second he starts talking, her right eyebrow raised as she gives him a firm look. Showing him there's no point in trying to tell her otherwise, she knows him best anyway.

"Fine," he gives in with an exasperated sigh, opening the door to the penthouse apartment further. He invites her in with a bob of his head as he steps aside. "I wasn't," he admits, pushing the door shut behind her again and he follows her to the shared living room.

"Which one was that like anyway?" she mutters as she crosses the room. "Fifth this month?" Her words coming out a bit harsher than she imagined them in her mind as she drops herself down on the black leather couch. "Fuck," she curses when her pulled up knee hits the wooden frame of the couch.

"Third," he corrects her statement even though he knows it makes no difference to his reputation and if anyone else had asked he wouldn't have answered in the first place, yet he somehow finds the need to let her know it's not exactly as bad as she imagines him to be. "Also," he points at the couch. "You know that thing has been broken since Tanner's birthday."

She sighs and thinks back to the rather wild party from last month, the broken couch partly caused by Rachel, Katrina and herself dancing on top of it. She shifts a little over the three seat piece to the middle, placing one of the pillows behind her back. It's only then that she lets her gaze roam through the apartment in search for his two roommates, the little bag of weed on the coffee table catches her eye. She shakes her head in disappointment and looks back up at Harvey.

He catches her gaze and turns to look at what she was just eyeing. "That's Mike's."

Donna bobs her head up and down in acknowledgement, turning to look over her shoulder to the room she knows to be Mike's. "Where's he anyway?"

Harvey raises his shoulder and shakes his head, not exactly knowing where his roommate is but he does know who he is with. "Where's your best friend?" he counters the question.

She laughs softly, knows who he is referring to but she shakes her head then, letting her gaze land on him again. "Looking at him."

Harvey bites down on his tongue, trying not to grin at the answer he knew his best friend would come up with. He watches her then, noticing the way her attention has drifted off again and how a sad smile has found a place on her usual happy face. He reminds himself of how she showed up out of the blue and he has to ask. "Why are you here?"

She lets out a deep breath and thinks over the last hour. Contemplating her answer she thinks about how much she's willing to share with him and ends up telling a half-truth. "I forgot… Lost my keys."

He looks at her in surprise, Donna has never been the person to forget something unimportant let alone her keys. He doesn't call her out on that though just asks her if she knows where.

"At Mark's," she admits, looking at her best friend, at last, she blinks twice to suppress feelings she can't place but aren't directly about her ex-boyfriend. "We broke up."

"Ooh." His mouth drops in surprise, he never particularly liked the guy but she seemed happy and that was enough to make him happy. Now that it's over he doesn't have to pretend to care for the guy at all and he only realises he should have said he's sorry for her when it's too late so instead he offers her a place to stay.

"Harvey, I –"

"Don," he protests in a beat, pausing his own sentence to let out a yawn and he turns to look at the clock above the dining table. "It's the middle of the night, you don't have a key. Just stay." The last words are spoken as he directs his hand to his bedroom.

She wants to say no, she should say no but if she's being honest with herself she doesn't want to be alone tonight. The redhead's gaze follows the motion of his hand and it lands on his bed, sheets half thrown on the ground and she is reminded of what she basically walked in on.

"I'm not sleeping in your bed."

"The couch is still broken so if you rather sleep with Tanner or Mike be my guest, but –"

"It's not that," she counters because she isn't scared of sharing a bed with him. They've had to make do once before and it was fine then and it will be fine then. "It's just…"

He turns to look over his shoulder to his room, now observing his own bed and he suddenly remembers what he was doing when she showed up at his place. "Ooh," he sighs, running his hand through his hair and it's the first time since she showed up that he realises he isn't fully dressed either. "Right," he decides then, making his way over to his room and he reaches for the sheets. Pulling them from the comforter and his mattress, pillow covers next. He rolls the pile of sheets up in his arms and demonstratively walks over to the washing bin in the corner of his room. Disposing of the dirty fabrics there, he reaches for clean ones from his closet and tosses them on his duvet.

She bites down on her lip, trying not to comment or even smile at his gesture. One that's very much appreciated but instead of voicing it she gets up herself and helps him with the tedious task. Placing both pillows in the dark blue covers while he does the rest.

"Are you staying now?"

She rolls her eyes and suppresses a grin, muttering a fine in return just before she walks over to a small dresser on the right side of his room. Opening it up she rummages through the contents until she finds what she's looking for and she proudly shows him his own Harvard t-shirt before she repeats the process in the drawer below. Picking out one of his boxers for her to sleep in. "Pyjamas," she mouths silently.

He laughs at the ease she does this with and he mirrors her motions by getting a clean pair of boxer shorts and shirt for himself, a towel next. "I'll be quick," he tells her just before he walks out of his room, leaving her to change.

When he returns he finds her sitting on the right side of his bed. A bunch of pillows that had previously resided on the couch in the living room now in the middle of his bed. His brows furrow a bit and he wasn't going to comment but it's her cheeky grin that makes him do so anyway.

"What's all this?" he asks as he rounds the bed and gets under the sheets on the other side. Sliding under the covers until his head hits his pillow and he brings his left arm up the rest under his head.

"Just making sure you stay on your side." She grins at the face he makes and copies his motions then, turning off the light on the nightstand on her side of his bed, she slides under the covers and turns to lie on her right side.

"Me?" he mocks her. "I think you'd have a hard time keeping your hands to yourself, Paulsen."

She bites down on her tongue and her eyes close for the briefest of moments. Something he could have noticed if it wasn't for the pillow mountain in between them. "You wish."

The two words ring in his ears and leave a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach, he opens his mouth to comment but only manages to gasp for air. The silence that follows on his part just a second too long to overcome so he changes the subject altogether.

"I'm sorry about Mark."

She inhales deeply at his words, pressing her lips together in a thin line as she turns to lie on her back. Her gaze directed at the ceiling it takes her even longer to answer. "It's okay. He just… He wasn't the one."

—

 _Wednesday, October 31_ _st_ _, 2018_

She wakes when a ray of sunshine slips through the curtains, her eyes slowly flickering open as she fights her disorientation and it takes a full minute for her to realise she fell asleep in her best friend's bed. Yawning once, she runs a hand over her face and brings the loose strands of her ginger manes behind her ear.

Taking one more moment for herself in silence, she eventually pushes herself up and lets her gaze travel down the right side of the bed until her gaze lands on it. Standing there, proudly erect she has to look away to stop herself from giggling.

Pushing the duvet aside, she swings her long legs over the side of the bed. She brings both hands above her head and stretches her back once before getting up. Turning to look over her shoulder, she eyes the cactus she gave him a few months prior one more time.

"I can't believe you managed to keep it alive."

He hears her voice come from his bedroom and downs the cup of coffee he'd been drinking. Walking through the shared living room he stops in his own door opening. "What now?"

She bobs her head to the side and points at the little plant that's started to bloom since she last saw it with a flick of her wrist.

"It was a bet," he reasons, reminding her of how she once told him he wouldn't be able to look after a plant when he'd gotten the stupid idea to adopt the stray cat that always walked around the building. She'd been right though, as even this little piece of greenery was a task in itself. "And you know I don't lose."

She rolls her eyes but laughs anyway, when her gaze returns to her best friend she realises he's dressed already and she suddenly feels very naked in the clothes she stole from him. "I'm uh…" she looks down her own body, taking a step to back to the chair she used as a dresser the night before.

He bobs his head up and down in understanding. "Bathroom is free, Tanner and Ross had an eight am class," he explains on his way back to the living room. "Coffee?" he calls after her then.

"Hell yeah."

A small ten minutes later Donna returns fully dressed from the bathroom, the t-shirt and boxer shorts she borrowed neatly folded in her hands. She makes her way over to the breakfast bar of the apartment, placing the garments down she takes the freshly brewed cup of coffee from his hand.

"Vanilla is in there."

She smiles softly and brings the cup to her lips, taking a sip of the hot beverage she needs to start her mornings. It's then that her gaze lands on a familiar object on the counter, her eyes automatically flickering up to look at him.

"I picked them up this morning," he explains, pushing the keys over to her. "Figured this way you didn't have to see that dumbass again."

She swallows thickly and eyes him for a moment at loss for words. "Thank you."

"Any time, Debs." His nickname for her only added to lighten the mood he watches her for a moment, gulping himself when he notices the sombre look on her face return once more. It pains him to see it and he wonders if her nonchalant behaviour from the night before was merely a façade.

"Hey," he calls for her attention when he remembers what day it is. One he despises but it's her favourite of the year. "It's Halloween," he uses the date as a way to cheer her up but it only makes her sigh and to his credit, it only takes him a few seconds to realise why. "Matching costumes?"

"Yeah," she shrugs, her mouth twisted. She focuses on the cup of coffee he handed her, finishing it in two big sips. Something she shouldn't have done as his next sentence nearly makes her choke on it.

"I'll do it."

She coughs once, twice. The cup landing on the counter in a soft thud, her palms flat on the surface next to him as she eyes him cautiously. "What?"

"I'll wear whatever monstrosity you had planned for," he stops his sentence before pronouncing her ex's name.

She shakes her head once. "You hate Halloween."

"Yeah," he admits, mirroring her position by leaning on his hands on the other side of the breakfast bar. "But I hate seeing you upset even more."

Donna's lips curl up ever so slightly and she looks down because at the sincerity his words were delivered with. Taking a deep breath, she meets his gaze once more soon after. "Fine," she gives in like she's the one doing him a favour and it only makes him grin. "But no complaining whatsoever."

"Deal."

—

"What the hell is this?" He eyes the bright orange piece of fabric she just handed him and his words from that morning come to mind again. It really was a monstrosity. He moves the apparent costumes through his hands, now staring at all the black dots stitched onto the bag.

"Your costume," she reasons, handing a blue tie over to him as well as a papier-mâché wooden bat. "Now embrace your inner caveman and get this on," she signals the costume in his hands, using her own on his shoulders to turn him around and redirect him out of her room.

Pushing her door shut behind him, she lets out a deep breath and tells herself to just enjoy the night and not think about who she was supposed to wear her matching costume with. Or that she's now wearing it with the reason for her break up in the first place.

Exhaling once more, she walks over to her closest and reaches for the white one-shoulder just below thigh length dress. Placing it down on her bed she lifts her shirt over her head, undoes the button of her pants and wiggles out of the thick denim.

Slipping into the dress and decorating it with a pearl necklace, she moves to the mirror and eyes her reflection before she brings her right hand to her left shoulder. Slipping the strap of her bra down, she reaches behind her back and unhooks the garment before removing it altogether. She brings her ginger strands together in a messy bun and finishes her outfit off with red lipstick.

He looks down at the blue tie around his neck, the long orange dress that definitely requires him to discard his jeans and he wishes she had told him to bring a pair of shorts but it's too late for that now anyway. He can already hear their roommates laugh at him, but she's the only one he'll go to these lengths for. Even if it requires him to dress up as Fred Flintstone and he's actually proud of himself for recognising the costume in the first place.

His thoughts are interrupted when he hears her bedroom door open again and he slowly turns around to witness his best friend return in a very short white dress. He swallows once thickly and he can't stop his eyes from raking over her form, lingering on her legs and shoulder for just a second too long before his gaze meets hers. Noticing a hint of curiosity in her gaze he realises she must have noticed his behaviour and he covers it up by exclaiming one of the phrases he remembers of the cartoon.

"Yabba Dabba Doo."

She chuckles once. "I'll take that as a compliment."

"Ooh, it was, Wilma." He flashes her his signature smirk. "My wife is the most beautiful gal in Bedrock, you know."

She grins again, can't believe that after all his complaining he's actually quoting the cartoon to her. She crosses the living room and steps closer to her best friend, only coming to a halt right in front of him, she instantly brings her hand to the blue silk fabric. Tying it for him, she lets the item slowly slip through her grasp before she realises she should take a step back again. "Thanks, Fred," she breaks the silence, at last, pulling her hands back to her side. Her hands tapping against her hips as she moves away. "Let's go."

—

She is having a great time, she really is but when by midnight the second guy she's talking to that night asks her if the guy in the matching outfit is her boyfriend her holiday spirit is turned down a notch. It's two attempts of explaining that he is just her best friend and three sighs later that she finds herself alone at the bar, downing a cocktail she doesn't particularly like but someone bought her, that she decides to call it a night.

He watches the blonde in front of him laugh but the last thing he said wasn't even remotely funny and he hasn't consumed enough alcohol yet to let it slide. Instead, he forces a fake smile on his own face, nods at the girl whose name he'd forgotten the second she told him. She laughs again and god it's getting awkward it almost makes him cringe.

It's then that he notices a flash of red hair move in the distance and his attention is automatically drawn to the person it belongs to. His best friend. He watches her from afar, the way she moves through the crowd and he also notices the girl in front of him is following his gaze but he doesn't care one bit.

He takes a step to the side when the redhead comes closer, his hand extended it automatically finds her wrist and in the same moment, it makes her halt he pulls his hand back. "Everything okay?"

She looks at him, the blonde next to him and she forces herself to smile. To anyone else it would look genuine, she only hopes he doesn't see it isn't in this particular moment. She remembers interrupting his last date and she has no intention of doing it again, he was only here because she asked so pretending she is alright is the least she can do.

"Yeah," she answers, nodding along. "I was just going to the rest rooms."

He has no reason not to believe her so he does, pressing his lips together in a thin smile. He nods in acknowledgement to her statement and lets her walk away. His gaze remaining on her retreating form until she disappears from his peripheral vision and it's then that a loud cough catches his attention again.

"Who was that?"

He exhales slowly, tries to ignore the annoyance he feels building up inside and he has every right to ignore her question but he doesn't. Figures the quickest way to get it over with is just to say it.

"Donna."

"Who?"

The way the blonde's head bobs forward and her voice raises to a new height as she asks, reminds him of a Snoop Dogg meme he's seen online lately and he bites down on the inside of his cheek to stop himself from laughing. He could just walk away and he really doesn't want to be having this conversation but he finds himself explaining anyway.

"My best friend."

His night does eventually end with the blonde in his bedroom, but it's when she tries to remove his costume that she asks again. Why he had a matching one with 'that other girl.'

"Her name's Donna."

"Whatever," the blonde mutters, trying to undo the knot of his tie and she has the audacity to give him an accusing look when he sighs. "Ooh," she concludes now, letting the fabric slide from her grasp and she moves away. "I get it, she's your ex."

He stumbles back two steps, brows furrowing together in a frown and he tosses the stupid blue tie to the chair in the corner of his room. "What now?"

"Your ex," she repeats so slowly it makes him feel like he's the delusional one here. "No what… Single twenty-four-year-old would dress up in a matching couples costume with his best friend." The last two words actually delivered with air quotes and he merely bobs his head to the side, shaking it slowly. "Unless said best friend is actually your ex whom you still have feelings for."

Her words hit him out of the blue, they aren't factually correct and yet it feels like the truth all the same. A truth he isn't willing to admit or even think about its existence. "That's stupid."

"No," the blonde shakes her head. She's moving off of his bed and talking with her hands as if she's just had the epiphany of the year. As if she has to lecture him on her knowledge. "The only thing that's stupid here is that I didn't see it sooner. That I still ended up here."

He watches her grab her shoes and the lame excuse of a coat she brought along. If she hadn't given him this entire speech he would have, to some extent, tried to get her back in his bed. Now he lets her walk away, in fact, he even finds the decency to escort her to the door. It's only when she's outside that he feels the need to set things straight. "Not that I owe you any explanation, but Donna and I we've never –"

He stops mid-sentence because he can't physically get the words out but he tells himself it's because the blonde has disappeared inside the elevators by then. He shakes his head again, isn't quite certain if he's annoyed or relieved. Probably a combination of both, but nothing a little bit of weed can't help.

Swinging the strap of her clutch over her shoulder, Donna crosses the entrance hall of their apartment building towards the stairs. With a tired sigh, she removes her heels and decides to climb the two floors barefoot.

The sound of the elevator doors sliding open in the lobby makes the redhead halt midway on the first floor. It's not the hour she expected one of her fellow tenants to leave, so she quickly leans to the railing and watches the doors to the metal box part.

Donna watches the blonde she'd seen hang around her best friend earlier that night strut out of it, pulling a thin coat over her shoulder and moving a hand through her hair as she marches towards the front door. The redhead gaze remains on the door for a couple of seconds longer, enough to make her stomach turn even if it shouldn't. She knows what he's like.

She exhales slowly, hand tapping against the wooden railing twice before she pushes herself forward. Making her way to her apartment, she quickly and quietly opens the door and rushes to her room. Making sure not to wake Rachel in case she did make it home before her, it's only when she drops her tired frame down on her bed that she lets the sadness she's ignored all day overcome her.

—

 _Thursday, November 1st 2018_

"Donna?" Her call for her roommate is followed by three soft knocks on her bedroom door.

"Come in."

The law student slowly moves her hand down to the handle and opens the door, the sight inside exactly what she expected to find. She had heard about the breakup, just not from the redhead herself. She offers a soft smile when she watches her friend push herself up to sit and she crosses the room to hop down on the duvet next to her. "Made you a coffee."

Donna whispers her gratefulness as she takes the mug from Rachel's hands, cupping it with both hands she lets the warmth spread over her before she brings it to her lips to take a sip. It doesn't have vanilla but it's the gesture that counts. "Thank you," she tells her again.

"Why don't we skip class today and go shopping."

Donna eyes her friend for a moment and then laughs. "Where's my roommate and what have you done with her."

Rachel chuckles and playfully slaps Donna's arm. "I'm not actually married to the library," she reasons. "Even if Mike sometimes thinks I am."

Both girls laugh at that and the redhead turns to look at the brunette again. "Where's he?"

"Sent him home this morning," Rachel answers. "Figured my best friend might need me."

Donna's gaze flickers from the cup in her hand to meet Rachel's.

"I heard about Mark."

Donna shakes her head and sighs. "It's not…" she pauses, "I can't even remember why I liked him." The words are a lie but it doesn't make the situation any different, she doesn't miss him and she doesn't actually care about their break up. She cares about the reason it ended though.

"It's just," she starts again, pausing to take another sip of her coffee before she sighs once more. Keeps her gaze "It's just always the same story. The same reason -"

"Because it's never him?"

Donna gulps and redirects her attention to the woman sitting next to her.

Rachel brings her hand to rest on Donna's knee when she sees the confused look in her friend's eyes, squeezing it briefly to show her she knows. "That guy from the Christmas market three years ago."

"Ooh." She looks away and down at the empty cup in her hands, at a loss for words and again reminded of yes, one of the reasons it never works out. It just isn't the reason her three last boyfriends had given her. "No," she admits, taking a deep breath as she tries to formulate her answer. "I mean yes, none of them were him and that's… I guess that's a reason too, yes, but it's Harvey."

"Harvey?"

Donna chuckles at the hint of surprise that came through Rachel's voice. "Yeah you know, one of your boyfriend's roommates." Her dab only results in a tilted head on the brunette's part and inquiring eyes to the real meaning behind her name drop. "He's… He's my best friend and they can't handle that."

Rachel watches the redhead shrug, press her lips into a thin line and she quietly watches her friend for a moment. "Could he be more than your best friend?"

"Harvey?" She whispers so softly it's almost inaudible, having trouble to get his name over her lips.

"Yeah, you could always try with him."

Donna shakes her head, frowning even at the suggestion. "He. He is my best friend," she reasons, moving around in her bed now. Pushing the sheets away and placing the empty mug on her nightstand. "That's it. He wouldn't… I don't and he –"

"Isn't the guy from the market."

"Exactly," Donna answers in a beat.

A finality in her tone of voice and the way she gets up physically putting an end to this conversation. Something that doesn't go unnoticed to Rachel and she lets it slide, knows her friend will talk when she's ready. In the meantime, she'll be there for her anyway. "So should we go to Saks or stroll down Broadway?"

—

 _Saturday, November 10_ _th_ _2018_

"There."

Harvey looks away from the screen above the bar that's broadcasting a baseball game as two trays are placed on the wooden table in front of him, one filled with beers, the other with shots of tequila. He eyes the drinks for a moment and then looks up to Tanner and Sean.

"It was this or mimosas." The latter explains, bobbing his head to the side to their fellow law student that joins the table now.

Harvey watches Harold join them at the table and nods politely. He doesn't particularly like the guy, but like Louis, he's part of their group. Sean reaches for a shot glass and downs it in one go as Tanner distributes the glasses of beer amongst the other men.

Mike takes a glass in his hand and raises it, waiting for the rest to copy his moves. "No more ethics exams." All glasses cling together and a loud cheer echoes through the bar. The motion repeated again and again with every subject they closed off already as beers and shots are refilled one after the other.

"No more mock trials," Harold yells now. His hand with a glass of beer hanging lonely above the table as all the other guys stare at him in slight confusion, the only subject all of them actually enjoyed and challenged each other at.

Harvey will never admit it but Louis had a mean game and going up against him was one of the toughest things he's ever done that year. So instead of toasting to this with his empty glass he signals the glasses on the table with his hand and makes his way over to the bar for another round after four consecutive nods follow.

Hands tapping against the counter, he waits for the barman to turn around and he momentarily contemplates switching his beer out for a glass of scotch. He doesn't because he can practically hear her question his actions. That and elbow that clashes against his own, followed by a giggle and a sorry.

He turns to look to his right, eyes landing on a girl he hasn't seen before and before he knows it he's flashing her signature grin and buying her a drink. Only realising he forgot to go back to his friends when both Tanner and Mike demonstratively walk up to the bar and order the drinks Harvey neglected right next to him.

He also knows they don't really mind all that much at the way Mike slaps his shoulder and Tanner wishes him luck, proceeding by telling the girl Harvey will have the apartment all by himself that night.

He shakes his head and rolls his eyes, waits for them to leave before he apologises and introduces himself at last. The conversation flows and he's actually having a good time until the blonde brings up the one subject he never imagined to have left her lips.

Donna.

"I'm sorry," he stammers, blinking twice he even starts to wonder if he heard it correctly or if he made it up himself. "What did you say?" The blonde flashes him a smile that leaves him feeling uneasy but it's nothing compared to the words that follow.

"I said, what would your girlfriend think about you sitting at a bar hitting on other girls. Donna is her name, right?"

His best friend already a touchy subject, combined with infidelity it takes every fibre of his being not to lash out right now. That's something he would never do. "She isn't my girlfriend."

The girl actually laughs in his face at his words, shakes her head and gets up from her barstool. "I beg to differ," she announces just before she turns on her spot and walks away, leaving the law student at a loss for words. He can only watch her walk away, still confused as to what just happened he can't help but notice the blonde join what seems to be a group of her friends. It's then when all girls turn to look at him and wave that he notices.

The brunette he had in his bed just over a week ago.

"Fuck." He looks away in a beat and lifts the glass tumbler from the bar, downing the remainder of scotch in one go. He signals for the bartender to refill his glass. That one downed at the same speed, he tosses two ten dollar bills on the surface and calls it a night.

—

 _Sunday, November 11_ _th_ _2018_

Mike gets home at eleven that morning after having crashed at Rachel and Donna's. Key slowly turning around in the lock, he carefully pushes the apartment door open and pokes his head inside. "Is the coast clear?" he calls out loud enough for the entire floor to hear him as it wouldn't be the first time for him to run in on either of his roommates with a girl being there.

"Morning to you too."

Mike's eyes widen in surprise at the cranky voice of his roommate. He flings the door open further now and walks inside, dropping his jacket over one of the barstools he observes his friend staring at the bottom of a coffee mug.

"Long night?"

Harvey stills his movements, letting go of the mug and he looks up to Mike. Confused by his inquiry for a moment, he catches up quickly enough to not let anything get away. "No," he admits with a shrug, reaching for the fruit bowl he gets an apple. Rolls it around twice and takes a bite out of it while getting up and walking over to the living room, hoping it would mean an end to his friend's questions but it's Mike and he should have known better.

"What happened? I thought you were hitting it off."

He chuckles to himself, shakes his head. "Nothing happened," it's the truth and a lie all in once and when he turns to sit down on one of the leather chairs he notices by the look on Mike's face that his answer isn't sufficient enough. He drops down on the seat and props his feet on the coffee table, using the few seconds to think over his answer but he can't tell him the real reason he ended up home alone. "It just," he pauses, sighs and shrugs. "Didn't feel right. I guess. That's all. Nothing major."

Mike's brows raise in surprise and bend down together in a frown in the span of a second. The amount of words Harvey used in his explanation enough for him to know it wasn't nothing major at all. "Would that be because she isn't the one –"

"Mike."

The blonde law student hears the hint of annoyance in Harvey's voice and normally he'd take the hint and let it rest but this is a subject he has done that to too many times already anyway. "You know who I mean."

He knows who Mike means but he won't pronounce her name. "It's not like that, okay," he offers instead and if it weren't for the repeated resurfacing of the topic he would have believed himself wholly. _It is not like that._ He repeats the five words in his mind, words he likes to believe.

"Since when?"

Harvey scoffs loudly. "Since always."

"Right," Mike shakes his head and rolls his eyes. "Cause that's exactly how I remember –"

"Mike."

"Just tell her."

"There's nothing to tell."

—

 _Saturday, November 17_ _th_ _2018_

"How are things in love?"

It takes two coughs and a polite nudge of her elbow for Donna to realise the question was directed to her. She quickly looks up from the glass of wine in her hands, lets her gaze roam over the group of girls scattered around the living room until it lands on Samantha, the one that asked the question.

"I broke up with Mark a few weeks ago actually."

"Ooh." Samantha brings her hand in front of her mouth. "I'm so sorry," she whispers next, reaching her hand out to Donna's arm. "I didn't –"

"Know," the redhead finishes the sentence for her. "I know. I just didn't feel like continuously sharing news about a break up I'm already over anyway." She raises her shoulders and lets them drop again, taking a sip of her wine she flashes her friends a smile after.

"Have you met someone else?" Katrina asks now, her question spiking the interest of the other girls and a look is shared between Jessica and Rachel.

"No."

"But you'd be open to date again?" Katrina asks, watching her friends expression carefully for any hint.

"Uhm," Donna mutters, inhaling and exhaling deeply as the question takes her a bit by surprise. "Yeah. I guess."

"Great," the blonde chirps, clapping her hands together. "Cause Brian has a new roommate and I think he'd be perfect for you."

"I –" Donna hesitates for a moment, the way the other girls are encouraging her feeling a bit overwhelming.

"Ooh, come on. You're single. He likes everything you like," Katrina reasons. "It would be perfect."

The redhead brings her glass of wine to her lips, takes a big gulp and swallows thickly. "Okay," she gives in with the help of some liquid courage. "What the heck. Fine."

—

 _Wednesday, November 21_ _st_ _2018_

Another two failed dates later he finds himself knocking on the wooden door three floors down. A six-pack of beer under his arm he leans against the door frame and waits for the brass 206 to make place for her ginger strands. A smile plasters his face and the way he shows her the bottles of beer is enough for her to step aside and invite him in with a bob of her head.

"Hey," she drops down on the couch next to him, takes the bottle he just opened from his hand and brings it to her lips. "Haven't seen you in a while. It's been like what a trimester?"

He rolls his eyes at first, her weird trademark of counting the time they've known each other in three month periods instead of years. Thirteen she would say but it's really been twelve and a half. He stares at her as his hands blindly open another bottle but as he thinks about it she is right. Not a trimester-long but it had been a while since they had hung out together, just the two of them that is. "Yeah," he admits. "Been too long."

"Should I feel offended though," she teases him, her elbow hitting his shoulder at the questioning look he throws in her direction. "That it takes both of your roommates being out for you to hang out with me."

He rolls his eyes at her complaint, brings the bottle of beer to his lips and takes a sip. "That." He stops his own sentence one word in, knows he'd fall for a trap she set him otherwise. "No," he starts again now, bringing the bottle down to his other hand. He moves it around in between them, gaze looking down for a second before he glances up to her. "I did miss this."

She smiles brightly, only averting her gaze to the bottle in her hands when he looks away. Her hair loosely falling around her face but she doesn't move them to cover the slight blush she feels forming on her face. She moves the bottle around in her hand, her fingertips tracing the label on the glass object until she tugs on a loose corner. "Me too."

Harvey grins, takes another gulp of his beer before he turns to look at her again. "We should do it more often."

"We should," she repeats, shifting over the couch. She pulls up her legs under her and moves around some pillows.

"In fact," he continues, watching her still move around. The way she takes another sip of her beer, he looks away then. Not willing to look at her when he speaks next. "I think we should date."

It's that she had just taken a sip of her drink but she chokes on air all the same. She coughs once, brings her hand to her chest and she eyes him. Only for a moment, before looking away again. Not sure how to deal with his news. "What?"

His eyes close and he already regrets blurting it out in the first place, he wonders if he can just pretend he never said it but he knows she'll bug him about it anyway. And it's not like that anyway. "We should date," he repeats.

"I –" She stops speaking instantly, opening and closing her mouth right after. "Harvey."

"Not for real," he quickly adds now.

She bobs her head to the side, finally allows herself to watch him. "You're not making any sense right now."

"I just," he pauses, thinking over his answer for a moment. He downs the remainder of his beer, placing the empty bottle on the table. He shuffles over the couch, letting his elbows lean on his knees, he looks to his left at her again. "Look I know that us being best friends isn't exactly beneficial to relationships. For either of us."

She takes in his words, bobs her head up and down in acknowledgement before she lingers on the meaning of his words. "You want a relationship?"

"What," he fires back. "No." He shakes his head. "No, that's not it. Remember that girl that was at my place the night you ended things with Mark?" He watches her nod and he nods too. "She uhm.. I guess she kind of told her friends that you and I are an item and since then… I uhm –"

"Can't get laid?" she fills in his sentence for him, biting down on her tongue as she wills herself not to laugh at the situation.

He gives her a stern look, shakes his head once. "I could," he counters but he sighs immediately after. "Okay fine. I can't. Everyone seems to think we are together, that there's something unexplored here that needs to be explored," he adds signalling his hand up and down in between them. "And if it's like this for me, I can only imagine what having me as your best friend means for you when you're dating someone."

Donna adjusts her seating, the conversation they're having still weird but the nerves she felt the moment he posed his question have toned down. "It may have caused a relationship to end," she admits. "Or two."

He nods and presses his lips together in a thin line, giving her an apologetic smile but in a way, he's glad his assumptions were right and he isn't making a complete fool out of himself here. "Now I know that we know better than anyone else, but I figured if we pretended to date it would give everyone a reason to shut up. We break up after a month, we can tell anyone that we tried. It didn't work. No more fake what ifs."

She stares at him for a few seconds, still perplexed by his suggestion and yet he's the only one she knows crazy enough to come up with such a thing. The only one she might even do such a thing with. "I don't know, Harvey," she answers, just isn't sure if it's really necessary. "It's kind of crazy," she reasons. "No offence," she adds when she sees his smile falter. "I mean… what if we did this, the holidays are right around the corner."

"That's the perfect timing of it all," he counters. "Everyone will be going home to see family, us included so that's already a bunch of days less for us to pretend."

She catches the way he smirks, clearly proud of his reasoning and this is one of the moments she hates him being a law graduate student. He does know how to make it convincing, even a crazy plan like this.

"I -" she mutters, feeling conflicted and nervous again. One part of her doesn't want to let him down but she also knows she has to listen to her own gut. Her gut telling her no. "I'm sorry."

He sees more than hears her whispered answer and while he knew the possibility of her answer being negative was highly likely it still stings. Just a bit.

"No problem."

She smiles softly, leans forward to hand him another one of his own beers as a peace offering. "If you want I could talk to them."

"No, it's okay. I can deal with it." He shakes his head, takes the bottle from her hand and uses his keychain again to remove the lid. He brings the bottle to his mouth and takes a large sip, his free hand reaching inside the pocket of his sweater. He removes a little bag with a joint from it, offering it to her. "It was a stupid idea anyway."

She doesn't smile this time around, just tugs on the little plastic bag in his hand and opens it up to reach for the joint inside. Taking the lighter he's removed from his pocket after, she runs her thumb down the switch and lights the joint.

"How high were you when you came up with that plan?"

He laughs, watches her take a drag and he instantly steals the joint from her grasp. Smoking it himself now. "Who says I was high?"

"Please."

—

 _Saturday, November 24th 2018_

She shifts nervously over the barstool, freshly painted red nails impatiently tapping against the bar in front of her. She contemplates reaching for her drink and finishing this one too but she can't possibly order a third before her date even started. Instead, she brings her hands to the small purse that's resting on her lap, zipping it open she reaches for her iPhone. Unlocking the screen she stares at the time.

 **08:21 pm**

Already twenty-one minutes passed the time her date was supposed to start. So much so for _mister perfect._ The only reason she even stayed beyond her fifteen-minute waiting limit is that she doesn't want Katrina to feel bad for setting them up.

She locks her phone again, hiding it back in her purse she eyes her drinks once more. Nine minutes. That's how much longer she'll give this guy. She doesn't even know his name yet, just that he's Brian's new roommate. Studies history and that he likes Shakespeare, the latter definitely working in his favour as she's still sitting here.

Her hand is back to the impatient tapping on the surface in front of her as her gaze drifts off to the clock hanging behind the bar. Another minute has passed and she sighs, louder than she intended and she reaches for her glass of scotch. Letting the remainder of alcohol swivel around in the glass as she moves it in her hand, eventually bringing it to her lips and downing it in one go.

"Don't go just yet."

Her eyes flicker open and she swallows thickly, the alcohol burning as it runs down her throat. She gives herself a second to compose herself before turning around to look at the guy that just showed up.

"I'm so sorry," he announces in a haste, bringing a hand up to his dark hair. Using it to smooth out his dishevelled hair. "My bike broke down and then I missed the bus," he explains, letting out a deep breath as he eyes her. "That's no excuse, I know. Wow, look at you, I should have been here half an hour early."

She can't help but giggle at that, looking down at her shoes to hide the blush starting to creep up on her face, maybe Katrina was right all along.

"Shit," he mutters softly, making her look up at him again. "Where are my manners." He brushes his hand along his coat and extends it to her at last. "Thomas Kessler."

She extends her hand to take his, slowly shaking it. "Hi Thomas, I'm Donna Paulsen."

"Ooh." He frowns for a moment, looking her up and down. "So it is you."

She takes a step back, not sure how to feel about this. "I'm sorry?"

"I mean," he shrugs. "I knew I was meeting a friend of Katrina's, I just thought you were with that guy, what's his name? They had an internship at the same D.A.'s office."

Donna bobs her head up and down, presses her lips together in a thin line. She didn't need his explanation to know who he's talking about, because it's always him. "Harvey," she fills in now, taking another step back she lifts her coat from the barstool and slips it on. Handing gripping onto the clutch she brought, she looks at her supposed date again.

"I'm sorry. This isn't going to work."

—

 _Sunday, November 25th 2018_

She tosses the empty Chunky Monkey container in the bin, licks the spoon clean and drops that in the sink. Leaving it there to clean for later, the hangover she's still experiencing at one in the afternoon making her reach for the bottle of red wine she almost emptied the night before on an empty stomach.

She considers reaching for a glass but gives up with her arm still mid-air, dropping it back down she just pulls on the cork. Depositing that in the bin, she takes a sip of wine straight out of the bottle. Using the back of her hand to wipe away a droplet of wine that spilt on her chin.

She drunkenly dances through the apartment, stopping in front of her own bedroom she changes her mind and moves to the door of her roommates. Knocking on the door twice, she only notes the post-it that was stuck against it when it flutters to the floor and lands on her bare feet. She squats down and reaches for the yellow piece of paper, reading the message on it.

 **I'm visiting Grammy with Mike. X – Rachel**

Donna groans, eyes falling shut and she crumbles the small piece of paper in her hand. Immediately regretting her reaction, she unfolds her hand again and tries to straighten the wrinkled post it between her fingers, eventually just placing it on the dresser next to the door.

Turning around on her spot, the bottle still in hand. She observes the place, looks around the living room and for the first time since she moved in with Rachel she feels alone. The place has always felt like home, yet now it doesn't. She wanders to a wall across the room, it's filled with pictures of them. Their friends, even a few remain from the time Rachel's older adoptive sister lived there.

The redhead lifts a picture of Samantha, Rachel and their parents, thinks about the story of the blonde joining the family her roommate told her more than once. She admires it, envies it a bit even. Her own family having fallen apart after her father lost all their savings, now more than ten years later her mother and father still aren't on speaking terms.

Hanging the picture back, she scans the rest. One from Halloween two years ago, the trip their group of friends took to Disneyland because she had never been before and many more. Her gaze eventually landing on one from New Years' Eve last year, it shows Louis Litt on the left, Jessica Pearson next to him and then them. Her and her best friend, Harvey Specter, all sporting champagne glasses and smiles. Her hand is placed on his shoulder and she looks happy. Genuinely happy.

She thinks about Rachel's words but shakes her head, he's her best friend. She doesn't have romantic feelings for him, just like he doesn't think about her like that. She remembers his suggestion from a few nights ago, it makes her laugh still. The absurdity of it is next level and yet she's thought about it more times than she likes to admit. Not because she wants to date him but because of his reasoning behind it, the problems she keeps running into and how it may solve them.

Exhaling deeply, she lifts the wine bottle to her mouth again and finishes the remainder in one go. She ends up draped over the couch, the empty glass on the floor next to her and when she reaches for her phone to text him she honestly thinks it's the best idea ever.

' _ **Bout your plan. Deal.**_

—

 _Monday, November 26th 2018_

"Ooh my fucking god."

She runs her hand over her face, pulling on her skin she watches the dark circles under her eyes and the way her hair sticks out in every direction. The headache she feels this morning is like no other and she considers it a miracle she even managed to roll out of her bed at seven in the morning.

Mindlessly opening the tab, she uses both hands to pull her t-shirt over her head. Dropping it on the cold tile floor, she wiggles herself out of her pyjama bottoms and panties in one go. Eyes already closed she climbs into the bathtub, the ice-cold water surprising her so much she jumps back and pulls the curtain with her in her move, making four of the five hooks snap.

"Shit." She curses, shivering and feeling warm because of the adrenaline at the same time. "Shit shit shiiiiiiiiit." She repeats, carefully lifting the soaked fabric in her hands and moving back to the showerhead first to adjust the temperature to something more comfortable. She looks at the hooks and then the curtain in her hands but soon enough realises she won't be able to put it back up. Letting it hang to the side she stares at the reflection of her tired self in the mirror across the bathroom and shakes her head.

She calls herself stupid and quietly turns to face the shower, finally letting the water cascade down her face and frame. She stays like that for a while, using the water as a way to wake up but with the lack of a shower curtain a lot of the heat escapes and she finds herself shivering again a minute later. She reaches for her scrub, squirts some of the contents on her hand, divides it between the two of them and then starts at her shoulders. Massaging her way down her frame and long limbs, she detangles the showerhead and washes the scrub away.

Letting the water run down her right knee, she shifts her weight from one leg to the other. Placing her left foot on the edge of the bathtub, she moves the showerhead to her knee all the way up her thigh. The warm water stream hitting her centre but the hangover prevents her body from acting the way it normally would and this time she moves it up and cleans her back before connecting it to the wall again to wash her hair.

By the time she makes it to her front door she's awake but that's all that's to be said about her state of mind. Still feeling the effects of her hangover, she can add grumpy to the list now. The latter a result of seeing the last text she sent the night before.

' _ **Bout your plan. Deal.**_

She isn't sure if she regrets it but she isn't exactly happy about it either. She wishes she could forget it ever happened, at least for a little while. She stuffs her phone in the pocket of her coat and swings the handle of her bag over her shoulder. Opening the door in one big swing the sight in front of her makes forgetting impossible.

"Harvey." Her voice manages to skip a beat in between the two syllables, she quickly pulls the door shut behind her and eyes him. "What are you doing here?"

"Thought I'd pick up my girlfriend."

She absolutely regrets it now.

Her eyes widen and her left-hand juts out to slap his forearm. "Ssssssh," she hisses. "Not so loud."

He bobs his head to the side, double takes the redhead in front of her and questions her behaviour. "Wasn't that the point?"

Her jaw sets and she wants to scream. Instead she finds herself looking around the hallway to make sure no one is actually in earshot. "There's no one here," she reasons, signalling the empty floor with her arm. "No need to pretend now."

She takes a step to the side, avoids his look as she quickly makes her way to the staircase. Only stopping at the edge of the landing she looks over her shoulder in his direction. "Are you coming or what?"

He has to take three large steps to catch up with her, his hand finding her wrist as he stops walking mid floor. His motion and the way he calls out her name making her halt too. He drops her arm as fast as he reached for it, now searching for her gaze he has to pronounce her name one more time before she looks up at him. Her gaze meeting his.

"Are you hung over?"

"No." She scoffs, fakes annoyance. "I woke up with a migraine. That's all." She looks away and continues her descend.

"Ooh no." He calls after her, not believing a word of what she's saying. "Wait," he rushes down the stairs now too, passing her turning around on the landing in front of her, making her stop again. "I know this mood. Practically invented it," he reasons, gazing at her with an intense look. "You agreed to this while you were drunk?" he asks, moving his hand back and forth in between them. "Didn't you?"

She bites down on the side of her cheek, presses her lips together and averts her gaze yet again. Even in her current state, she could detect the tiniest hint of disappointment in his voice and it's making her feel even un easier than she already felt.

"So what if I did," she fires back. "You were high when you came up with this plan. Drunk and high, we'd make a perfect couple."

His jaw sets and if there's one thing he hates its getting mad at her but forcing her to do something she clearly doesn't want is one of the last things he'd do. "If you want out, just say it."

Yes.

It's the first thing her mind screams at her, but her pride and the guilt she already feels tell her the exact opposite. She's a woman of her word, the one that helps her friends in any which way she can. She swallows then, blinks back a tear that's starting to form and turns to look him in the eye.

"I don't want out," she whispers. "It's … It's just a lot."

He lets out a somewhat relieved breath, nods in acknowledgement. "Six feet of this is a lot to handle, I know," he teases her, flashing her his signature grin. Motioning for her to move again with a bob of his head.

She chuckles then, shaking her head and slapping his bicep before she follows him down the stairs. "You're impossible." They have neared the entrance hall when she breaks the silence by mumbling his name and he looks to his right at his best friend. "If we're going to do this, we need a plan."

"A plan?" he repeats.

"Yeah, like a playbook. Rules on how we're going to do this," she explains. "Why don't you come by for pizza tonight and we'll talk it over."

"It's a date."


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello everyone, sorry for the delay. I don't know what's happening inspiration wise but time has been super limited too. Also, I decided to just go an upload a part whenever it feels like it could be a chapter on its own (does that make sense?) and when that one is done of course. Anyway, thanks to everyone who read and reviewed the first part. You're the best. Here's no. 2, let me know what you think :)**

 **x - M**

* * *

 **The Mistletoe Mystery**

 **PART II**

When she finds him in front of her door at seven that night, her reaction is the exact opposite from the grumpy one she delivered that morning. This time she smiles, greets him and rolls her eyes at the bottle of white wine he reveals from the behind his back.

"You're putting up quite the show, mister," she teases him, taking the Chardonnay from his hands. She pushes the door further open and steps away, letting him get inside.

"Well," he shrugs off his coat and drapes it over the back of a chair as he makes his way inside the apartment. "I got myself in this game of pretend with a theatre graduate so I figured I had to step up my game."

She laughs loudly, walks passed him to the living room and places the bottle on the table next to the pizza she made them. Opening up a cabinet next, she picks out two wine glasses and fills both of them.

He eyes her move around, his gaze landing on Rachel's room and then the scene in front of him again. Remembering the reason for his presence and her outbreak this morning he can't help but ask as he drops himself down on the light blue couch. "Where's Zane?"

"Having dinner with Samantha. They usually make it late, so we have time." She turns the lid back on the bottle and places it down again, she slides to sit on the ground in front of the couch, picking up the first slice of pizza with a napkin.

He copies her move and starts on his first slice before he decides to break the tension and address why he is there. "So, you wanted to make a plan."

"That and a list of rules, yes," she replies, reaching for her glass of wine. She takes a sip and continues. "Just to make sure we can actually go back to normal after this."

He takes in her words, repeats them in his mind and lingers on the importance of them. He nods then, now more than glad she asked for them to talk this through because as usual he might come up with a plan but it's her who looks at the details and always makes sure they get out of things in one piece.

"So I guess we need to figure out a date," she continues then, playing with the stem of her glass. "For when we supposedly got together."

"Today?" His answer both a suggestion and question at the same time.

She thinks it over for a moment but shakes her head at last. "I feel like we wouldn't be telling others yet if this just happened today," she points at him with her glass. "And the telling part is why we do this."

"True," he admits. "So uhm, what… Like two weeks ago?"

"No, I had a date last Saturday."

He looks at her in surprise and gulps. Covers that up with reaching for his glass of wine and taking a large sip, he tells himself the unease that news caused him is just because he's her fake boyfriend now. "You did?"

She nods. "Kind of," she reassures him now. "Walked out before it even started actually."

"That bad?"

"Worse," she counters in a beat, picking up another slice of pizza. "You have no idea."

He laughs at the dramatics she delivers her last words but he does have an idea, it's why he even came up with this plan. "Can't believe I'm a rebound for you."

"You're not," she answers with a chuckle. "Anyway, I guess we happened last weekend."

"Happy two day anniversary, babe," he counters raising his glass.

Donna can't help but laugh, mirroring his motion. She brings her glass to cling against his and they toast on the start of their fake relationship. Bringing the glass back from her lips to the table. "Seriously though, I don't think we should do pet names."

He looks at her, momentarily thinking she's joking and wondering why that would be so bad to include in this little act of them.

She notices the confused look on his face. "You're saying you wouldn't crack up if I started calling you honey from now on."

His lips were already turned up before she even finished her sentence and he laughs a mere second later. "Okay, touché sweetheart."

"Hold your horses, stud." She slaps his knee, as quickly removing her hand as she touched him. She shifts on her spot, moving to sit on her legs. She reaches for her notebook and a pen she had placed on the coffee table prior to dinner, she writes it down. Voicing her reasoning as she scribbles. "It's just I feel like we would blow our whole cover if we did."

*contract*

Rule no.1 – No pet names

They quietly stare at the piece of the paper for a moment, her hand with the pen still hovering above the first rule she had written down before she moves it to the margin on the left, adding a second number now before she looks back up at him. One by one they come up with rules to make this easier for them until the paper is almost completely filled.

*contract*

Rule no. 1 – No pet names

Rule no. 2 – We only pretend to be together when others are around.

Rule no. 3 – The holidays are spend apart with family

Rule no. 4 - Our families are kept out of this

Rule no. 5 – No kissing

Rule no. 6 – No unnecessary touching

Rule no. 7 – Under no circumstances will we tell anyone the truth

Rule no. 8 – No sleepovers

Rule no. 9 – Under no circumstances will the three little words be used

Rule no. 10 – We will go back to being best friends no matter what

She underlines the last rule twice and adds an exclamation mark to it. Wiggling the paper between her fingers, she bites down on her bottom lip and thinks over everything they've just come up with. She realises then that they haven't discussed one of the most important things yet. The duration.

"How long are we doing this for?"

He thinks about her question for a moment eventually settling on what he suggested to her in the first place. "Around a month should do, right?"

"Plenty," she counters, clicking with her pen twice before she writes it down too. "New year, new start."

Rule no. 11 – The relationship will end at midnight December 31st

He laughs when he sees the date she added to the contract. Shakes his head, and reaches for his glass. Downing the remainder of wine in one go. "Happy New Year to you too, Paulsen."

"Ooh, shut up," she nudges his knee with her shoulder before glancing back at the last empty line on the paper. She writes down a twelve first, just to fill it up a soft chuckle escaping her when she comes up with the last rule. "And lastly. No feelings."

Rule no. 12 – No feelings.

His jaw sets and his hand balls in a fist as he reads the last two words. He unclenches his hand as soon as he realises that, tells himself it's easy. You have no feelings for Donna. He repeats it again, in his mind. Using other words out loud to joke with her and show her he's more than okay with it.

"You're afraid you'd fall for me."

She turns to look up at him, her gaze locking with his and she chuckles after a second and instantly breaks their eye contact again. "Please. If anyone is falling for anyone. It would be you for me."

"Sounds like a challenge."

"One you're never going to get to take."

"Why not?"

She grins and shakes her head. "It's fake, Harvey."

As he watches her grin he feels his own smile fade, that thought of realisation pushed away as quickly as it came. He reminds himself of his request and her words describing all it could ever be.

 _Right._ He shakes his head too now, quickly enough to go unnoticed to her and when she looks up and her gaze meets hers, he flashes her a matching grin. One that tells her he was joking anyway.

"I know," he answers, extending his hand towards her and he waits for her hand to fall into his. Shaking it once to seal the deal.

They're dating now.

—

 _Wednesday, November 28th 2018_

"I'm going to miss you."

She smiles softly into the shoulder of her roommate before the two girls part their embrace. "It's only a weekend," Donna counters with a teasing grin and Rachel lets her cause she knows her friend won't vocalise it in another way.

"You sure you're going to be okay?" Rachel asks for the second time that day, signalling the apartment around them.

"Yes," the redhead reassures her friend, nodding along with her words. She moves ahead to open the apartment door and help Rachel her on her way. "I'll be fine. My dad will stop by tomorrow, so go enjoy your weekend with Mike at your parents."

Rachel bobs her head up and down, swinging the handle of her weekend bag over her shoulder she steps forward one last time to give Donna another hug. "Okay. Happy thanksgiving."

"Happy thanksgiving," Donna answers in return, waving until Rachel disappears down the stairs. She hasn't even fully made it back inside the apartment before her phone rings and she chuckles to herself once.

"Rachel you haven't even left the building yet," she calls out after blindly reaching for her phone. The object pressed between her shoulder and her ear, the redhead has to blink twice when she hears a different voice than expected on the other side of the line.

"Dad?" She asks now, brows knitting together in a frown as worries overcome her. She curls herself up on the couch before she asks her next question. "Are you okay? Is everything alright?"

" _Hey honey," her father's voice responds calmly, "Yes I'm doing okay, more than okay even. That's why I'm calling, see. Business is going better than expected and this deal I've been working on for days is bound to go through, but -"_

She bobs her head up and down slowly, her worries already replaced by another unfortunate familiar feeling, disappointment.

Donna doesn't have to ask further to know the reason of his call, and she doesn't ask anymore. She never does, she explains though. Pronouncing the reasoning before anyone else has to do it, never letting anyone else feel like they're letting her down. She's gotten so good at it over the years that it almost doesn't affect her. Or that's what she tells herself.

It always does though.

"It's okay if you can't make it dad."

" _I'm sorry, honey."_

She swallows once and her eyes fall shut, she takes a moment to breath and collect herself before she answers again. "It's okay," she reassures him. "I hadn't exactly had the time to prepare anything yet anyway. Good luck on the deal and I'll see you another time, okay."

" _Okay, honey. Have a great weekend."_

"Same to you, dad."

She times her sigh just so that it comes after ending the call and with the phone left in her hand she makes her way over to the kitchen. Pulling the door to the freezer open with a swing she grabs the still frosted turkey and stuffs it back into the bottom drawer. Kicking that shut, she uses her foot to close the door of the freezer again while mumbling a holiday greeting to herself.

It's stupid really, to get her hopes up and she should know better by now. It's always the same story, has been since her father lost all her family's money when she was thirteen but it has only gotten worse when she moved out of state for college. He had promised phone calls and visits, more visits but hasn't been able to deliver upon that promise in over a year.

It's then that three firm knocks on the front door wake her from her own pity party, a smile automatically turning upon her lips as she knows who's waiting for her on the other side but three steps closer to the door it has already faded again. Reminding herself of the reason to him stopping by this late on a Wednesday evening. It's been the same every year since she's known him and exactly what she just did with Rachel.

A goodbye.

Forcing herself to smile, she turns the lock and opens the door to face her best friend. "Hey."

"Hey," he greets her in a beat, still shuffling on his spot outside like all the years before. "I still need to pack so I just came by to -"

"Say goodbye and wish me a happy thanksgiving," she finishes his sentence for him.

He nods first, her knowing his every move is not a surprise to him, it's the hint of bitterness he detects that makes him double take her presence. "Everything okay?" He already knows it's not, but he gives her the courtesy of opening up to him herself.

"I'm fine."

He bobs his head to the side, not believing a word of what she's saying. He usually gives her an out of rather himself, by not pressing any further. This time, with the holiday right around the corner, he does. "You don't sound fine to me."

"Harvey."

It's a lame attempt of a warning and they both know it, but it's the manner in which she sighs and looks away from him that makes him take a step forward. Concern now filling every fibre of his being and the tremble in her voice he heard in the two syllables that are his name make him want to right whatever it is that is wrong and then it hits him.

"He isn't coming, is he?"

Years ago she would have called him out on his judgmental tone in his voice, defended her father or thought about throwing his relationship with his mother back in his face. The latter something she never did and she doesn't do so this time either. Instead, she merely turns to face him again and she shakes her head.

He swallows once at the tears she's holding back the next words leave his lips before he can even think them over. "Come to Boston with me."

"What?"

For a second he's just as surprised as she is but he doesn't regret his suggestion one bit. "Come on, dad and Marcus would love to see you again," he reasons, flashing her a smile he hopes she can't resist. It's then that he remembers the list of rules they made and how bad it would be to ignore them on their second day of actually doing this.

"I know we said we'd spend the holidays apart and keep our families out of it," he continues before she can object. "But imagine Zane finding out I let my girlfriend all alone for Thanksgiving, she'd kill me."

That brings a smile to Donna's face and she chuckles once. "She would."

"You don't want me dead now, do you?"

"Are you blackmailing me into celebrating Thanksgiving with you?"

He shakes his head and gives her a look, doesn't want to dignify her tease with an answer and decisively makes his way back to the front door. Only looking over his shoulder when he's near it and knows she followed him. "Just be ready when I pick you up at eight tomorrow morning."

She smiles then, right hand catching the door as he leaves and makes his way to the staircase. "Harvey," she says then, watching him stop at the first step and turn to look at her. "Thank you."

"Anytime, Debs."

—

 _Thursday, November 29th 2018_

"He's bringing Donna."

Gordon's words make Marcus nearly choke on his hot chocolate. "He," the twenty-one-year-old pauses to cough twice, placing the cup down. "He's what now?"

"Harvey is bringing Donna," Gordon repeats as he answers the text message his oldest son had just send him.

"I know you mean Harvey," Marcus rebuts in a beat, shrugging when his father gives him a disapproving look. "I just meant I didn't think dick face would ever have the balls to ask her out."

Gordon sighs and places his phone on the counter, he turns to look at his youngest son with an even more disapproving look on his face than before. "Don't talk about your brother like that."

Marcus rolls his eyes and moves the mug of hot chocolate around in his hand. "So are they together now or what? Only took them three whole years."

"I don't know, Marcus," Gordon answers truthfully, reaching for his phone once more as it vibrates over the kitchen island. He reads the newest message Harvey sent him. "He didn't say and you're not about to ask him. They'll tell us themselves. Now get ready, they're a block away."

"Fine," Marcus sighs, downing the remainder of his drink before he hops off the barstool. "I'll go and help them with their bags."

"Marcus Cornelius."

The youngest Specter looks at his father, fakes disappointment at the warning that included his middle name. "I won't say anything."

.

"And here we are."

She glances out of the window and back at him. "You know I've been here before right."

"I was talking to the cab driver."

She rolls her eyes and shakes her head, holds back her remarks and follows him move by getting out of the cab in front of the familiar house instead.

"Can you go ahead and ring the bell," Harvey suggests, pointing at the door with one hand as he lifts his bag from the trunk. "And I'll get our bags."

She wants to tell him she's more than capable of carrying her own and she knows he knows, but she lets it slide for once. Knows there must be a reason for his request and she can't object now as he's the one doing her a favour. She mumbles an 'okay' and opens the wooden gate in the fence, taking the last five steps to the red painted door with Harvey right behind her. Her hand already in the air to do as asked, the door swings open in a beat and she greeted by a familiar set of eyes and signature grin. Just on the youngest Specter's face this time.

"Donna."

Two arms wrap around her in an embrace before she even gets the chance to return a greeting. The movement ending just as quickly as it came, it still causes Harvey to narrow his gaze in on his younger brother. "Marcus."

"Loser."

The older brother rolls his eyes. "Good to see you too."

"Yes," Donna chirps in at that moment, trying to break the playful but tension between the two brothers none the less. "It's good to see you too, RC3."

"You told her."

"Ooh please," Donna scoffs, turning Marcus around with her arm and guiding him back inside the house, Harvey following them both into the hallway. "You think Reggie over here has any secrets for me."

Marcus glances back at his brother and the redhead then, the words slipping from his lips before he can remind himself of the promise he made to his father. "Did you two finally get together?"

Harvey's confirmation comes at the exact same moment as Donna's denial.

"What?" Marcus laughs once at the two completely different answers he got and the panicked looks that are exchanged mere seconds after.

"Yes we are," Donna blurts out now, but she bites her tongue and curses herself when she hears Harvey's answer change in that exact moment.

"I mean no."

The frown on Marcus' face only increases and he stares at the pair dumbfounded. "I don't understand, are you or aren't you together?"

Harvey lets out a deep breath, his gaze finding Donna's at that moment and he knows it's a rule but it's the only way to explain the situation they've gotten themselves into.

"We are fake dating."

"Fake dating?!" Marcus fires back in a second, a throaty laugh escaping him now at the most absurd words he's ever heard his brother say and he's said a lot over the years.

"Why would you fake – "

He swallows in the rest of his sentence when Harvey's gaze narrows in even further and he just laughs again now. "I'm sorry but that's just… stupid."

"What is stupid?"

The sudden appearance of Gordon's voice makes the three college students turn around but it's the youngest of the three who finally breaks the silence.

"They are fake dating." The words come with a hand signalling up and down between the two in the back of the hall.

Gordon's mouth drops for a moment and he wants to shake his head but he doesn't. "I'm not even going to ask," he answers then. Taking a step forward, he greets Donna first and his son next. Inviting the two of them inside and ordering his youngest son to drop the subject with a mere look.

To his surprise Marcus actually does and while the subject isn't mentioned again he can't help but think about it every now and then as he watches his oldest son and Donna interact with one another that Thanksgiving day. The ease those interactions come with, the laughter that follows on both parts and the glances he catches his son stealing in the redhead's direction not just now during dinner but all afternoon and he can't help but think about what his son told him years ago.

* * *

 _December 2_ _nd_ _, 2015_

 _Taking two steps at a time, the young law students rushes his way down the stairs and he comes to a rather abrupt halt when he nearly trips over a few cardboard boxes on the landing. "Fu –" he swallows in his curse when a glimpse of red hair catches his eye, it's nothing more than a young woman disappearing into a familiar apartment on the second floor but it sparks his interest all the same._

 _He's in a hurry and he knows it's creepy to stop and wait for her to return, but the way he walks around the landing to the top of the next flight of stairs is significantly slower than before. His change in movements works though as he catches a glimpse of her face now, only for a second before she disappears into the apartment again with another bag._

" _What the hell man?"_

" _Huh," he wakes from his thoughts, immediately pretending the way his heart had jumped upon her return hadn't happened. He turns to look up at his two roommates, Mike and Tanner. Both standing right behind him on the stairs and clearly urging him to move._

" _Who was that?" Harvey inquires, bobbing his head in the direction of the apartment of the Zane sisters as the three of them make their way down._

" _Red?" Tanner asks, having seen the redheaded woman too and he glances back and forth between their classmate's apartment and his own roommate. Mike merely shrugs._

 _Harvey frowns at the blond, gives him a confused look. "You don't know who's moving into your girlfriend's apartment?"_

" _I don't," Mike lies, shaking his head. "She must be a new law student."_

" _Right, "Harvey mumbles. "Except that no one starts in the middle of a semester, Mike."_

 _Mike looks at Tanner, grins at the nod the latter gives him and the blond decides to push his roommate's buttons some more. "I'll go and ask Rachel right now."_

 _That has Harvey halt in the middle of the stairs yet again. "Don't."_

 _Mike and Tanner both laugh now, the latter's hand falling on Harvey's shoulder. "God that was easy," he teases his friend. High fiving Mike in the process._

" _Fuck off."_

" _Mike can tell you all about her," Tanner continues now. "Red is a friend of Rachel."_

" _She is."_

" _I don't even want to know."_

 _Tanner rolls his eyes. "Liar," he mumbles as the three of them make their way out of the apartment building. "Move," he hisses now, spotting Louis Litt powerwalking into their direction from the corner of his eye, but his warning not quick enough._

" _Good afternoon, gentlemen," Louis greets his fellow law students, increasing his pace to end up walking next to Harvey. "Have you heard about professor Gerard's –"_

" _What?" Harvey asks, turning to look at Louis._

" _You haven't heard?" Louis fires back in a beat._

" _Don't blame him, Litt," Tanner jumps in. "His mind is otherwise occupied."_

 _Harvey shakes his head, doesn't even bother answering this time around._

" _Not that he has a chance," Tanner continues, adding more fuel to the fire. "Red's dating Stephen. The British guy from litigation class. Heard him brag about it few weeks back."_

" _Good for her."_

 _Louis looks back and forth between the other three men. "Donna?" he asks then, gaze landing on Mike who nods then. He might not know the redhead himself, it is indeed the name he had heard his girlfriend mention from time to time._

 _Harvey slowly repeats the name in his mind, doesn't want for it to happen but his attention is on Louis all the same at the next words that leave the law student's lips._

" _She broke up with him."_

 _Harvey gulps, his stomach twisting and he wills himself to keep his face neutral. The way he feels far too embarrassing and unnatural for him. He tells himself he doesn't care._

" _How would you know?" Tanner asks._

" _Because," Louis reasons, smiling proudly at the three guys he wishes he could call his friends but aren't. For the first time having information that interests them and he has to gloat in it for a moment. "Donna told me. We work at the same small theatre company just off Broadway."_

 _Donna._

 _A friend of Zane._

 _Theatre._

 _Single._

 _He doesn't care._

— _  
_

 _December 21_ _st_ _, 2015_

 _He does care._

 _It's the only excuse that fits his pathetic behaviour and he groans at the realisation as he saunters from one stall to the next on the campus' Wiehnachtsmarkt. He'd seen the flyers in the hallway of their apartment building earlier that week and he had instantly scoffed at the idea but all the one night stands from the last three weeks couldn't stop him from changing his mind about the event the second he heard form Mike, who heard from Rachel, that a certain redhead and her theatre group would go._

 _And thus he finds himself staring at a bunch of badly knitted scarves, shivering in the cold cause, of course, it had to start snowing as well all the while he waits for an opportunity to run into her. That is if she actually shows up._

 _So far he hasn't seen her._

 _He shuffles on his spot, brings his hands back in the pockets of his coat and he looks around the market in search for her ginger manes. There should be easier ways to meet your roommate's girlfriend's friend he knows that, it's just that he really doesn't want either to know he still hasn't forgotten about that three-second glimpse he got of her._

 _His phone vibrates in the inside pocket of his jacket and he reluctantly moves his scarf aside to reach for the object. Unlocking it he checks the messages from Mike._ _ **Get your ass out of the library and join us.**_ _The second message a picture of their group of friends drinking beer, including Rachel who's sitting next to Mike._

 _Shaking his head, he doesn't text back but decides it may be for the best to leave the "library" indeed, get out of the cold and drink a beer with his friends. The chances of running into her there probably higher than here in this weather._

 _His plan was stupid anyway and the fact that she didn't show maybe enough for him to finally let it go altogether. He places his phone back, fixes his scarf and brings his bare hands to his mouth. Blowing warmth on them, he starts making his way to the exit only to detour towards the second to last stall when he reads the sign._

 _ **Glühwein.**_

 _He's never had it before but he's heard about it, the warm alcoholic beverage sounding very appealing to him at the moment. One to warm him up on his way over to the bar, second to forget about this failure._

 _Rolling his shoulders against the cold, he takes a couple of firm strides to the stall. Ready to remove his hands from the confined warmth of his coat and reach for the spoon when someone else swoops in and grabs it before him. He would be annoyed if it wasn't for the giggle that fills the space around him, and he steps aside to watch the woman that cut him in line struggle with the kitchen utensil._

" _Do you need help?"_

 _She laughs at the stranger's voice, accidentally spilling half of the alcoholic beverage back into the pot instead of her paper cup. "Now I might be a tad tipsy but this isn't my first rodeo, mister," she counters, reaching in with the spoon again. This time precisely filling her cup to the brim, placing it down on the table in front of the pot. She already reaches for another paper cup before she asks. "Want one?"_

 _He grins at the witty comeback. "Yes, please."_

" _One Glühwein coming up," she chirps, dramatically moving the spoon back in and lifting it high enough to make a show out of pouring a cup of alcohol. Anything to show this stranger she's more than capable of handling her own._

" _There," she extends her hand with the cup to the guy standing next to her, finally turning around to face him as well._

" _Thank you –" He falls silent the second he sees her face, framed by ginger bangs and only then he spots the rest of her long locks tucked away under her hat and scarf. Her name dying on the tip of his tongue._

 _She smiles at his silence, figures it to be his way of asking for her name and she extends her hand to him. "Donna."_

" _Donna," he repeats, pronouncing the name he's thought about for weeks for the first time out loud. "I'm Harvey," he tells her, accepting her hand in his own and every single thought he's pushed away about her in the last couple of weeks come rushing back in an instant. "Nice to meet you."_

 _She smiles brightly and shakes his hand one last time, accidentally hitting his other one holding onto the cup of Gühwein when she pulls back. The content of the paper cup spills over his coat and shoes and her eyes widen in shock as she looks down at the mess she made._

" _Ooh my god," she exclaims, bringing her hand to her mouth._

 _He catches her eyes flicker back up to his own and in them, he already sees the apology that makes him want to say it's fine._

" _I'm so sorry," she adds now before he gets a chance to respond. Her slightly drunken mind running on overdrive she looks around and takes two steps towards him when she spots the roll of paper towels. Sweeping it from the table, she rips two pieces from the roll and hastily brings it to his coat. The entire ordeal having made the pair move down the other end of the stall._

" _It's fine," he counters, looking down at his dark coat. Her bare hands a stark contrast against the fabric and he finds himself fixated on the way her fingers dab against a stain he isn't even able to see, his gaze eventually travelling up to her face. Her eyes, her hair and back to her lips, he swallows once at her proximity. "Don't worry about it."_

 _She hears him dismiss her actions but she's a fixer and she can't let it go. Moving her hands over his chest, the lapels of his coat and his after shave is having an intoxicating effect on her. Her motions slow down but continue despite her not having a clue as to whether she's actually dabbing the place she spilt his drink on or not._

 _Her gaze trails from her hands to his scarf, his chin next. She can't help but smile when she spots the small shaving cut there, her breath hitching and heart fluttering because of it. It's when she eyes him wetting his lips that she feels it everywhere else too. Her body mimicking his actions on its own volition._

 _Donna tilts her head ever so slowly, her gaze searching for his but when she notices he's looking up she mirrors that motion too. Spotting the small piece of greenery hanging right above their heads, her stomach flipping once more as excitement courses through her veins._

 _He grins at the cheesiest holiday tradition in existence when he notices her movements have come to a halt yet her hands are still resting on his chest. His breathing heavier, he drops his gaze from the mistletoe to the redhead standing right in front of him. The smiles she's sporting while she's looking at him taking him by surprise but not as much as her next movement._

 _She tells herself it's merely a tradition and not desire and she figures by the way he was looking at it too that he doesn't mind when she lifts herself on her toes and closes the already limited distance between them. Her lips slowly gliding against those of the guy she just met, it's when he answers her kiss that she realises tradition has nothing to do with how it's making her feel._

 _His hands are about to reach for her waist when she pulls back from their kiss, taking a step back as well. He slowly opens his eyes to find her staring up at him and it's the smile she flashes him that makes him forget about the absurdity of the moment altogether. He can't help but grin too, finally allowing himself to really look at the girl he's been wondering about for weeks now._

 _A snowflake drops down on his nose then, the cold breaking their moment for a few seconds as they both glance up at the sky. It's her infectious laugh that makes him look at her again, his eyes scanning her face once more. "God you're beautiful," he blurts out taking a step towards her this time and he can't help but wipe a few of the frozen droplets that have found their place on her face from her cheek._

 _She feels a warmth creep up her cheeks and she tells herself it's due to the snow but it's this strangers words, his presence and that kiss. A kiss too good to be so short, to be shared only once and she usually isn't so forward but she does it again._

 _The second kiss surprises him as much as the first one did, only this time around his mind and body are catching up even quicker. His lips moving against hers like they've been doing this for years, his right-hand finds her waist and holds her firmly to his frame but it's still not enough. Tilting his head ever so slightly to the right, he tugs on her bottom lip silently asking her for permission._

 _Her lips part willingly and when his tongue slides against her own she's completely gone. Never in her twenty-one years on this planet has a kiss turned her world upside down as much as he's doing to her now. Making her let go in a way she has never done before and the control freak inside of her would be on high alert if it didn't feel so good. Or maybe it should be because it feels so good, she doesn't know anymore. Can't think straight anymore, only being able to let her desire translate into her actions._

 _It doesn't take long for both of them to become out of breath, pulling apart with a gulp. He has to take several deep breaths before he's able to find his voice again. "We weren't standing under the mistletoe anymore."_

 _She grins once, bobs her head to the side. Both to check and challenge his answer. "Does it matter?" she asks, but she already knows by the way he kissed her back that it didn't._

" _No," he admits, lips tugging up in a Cheshire cat-like smile._

" _Good," she whispers, briefly glancing down. She brings her hands to his scarf, playing with the fabric she slides it through her hands and uses it to bring him closer again. Her face only an inch away from his, she notices he's about to lean in this time around and she giggles then. Moving her own head aside, she brings her lips to his ear._

" _Let's get out of here."_

 _Her words leave him more flabbergasted than either kiss had done before and he isn't sure what to answer but he doesn't object either. Not against her words and not against the way she hooks her arm around his own, guiding him with her._

 _He watches her grab her cup of cooled down Glühwein and down it in one go. The laugh that follows again and the way she shifts from left to right on her feet makes him wonder if her actions might just be because of the alcohol._

 _She tells him it's the slippery snow._

 _He follows her though, letting her guide him back to her place. Their pace slow, his arm wrapped around her for stability. The conversation light, their flirtation heavy. He realises it's definitely the alcohol when she stands on the second floor and is staring back and forth between two apartments, taking more than a few seconds to figure out she needs to go to number 206. Something he already knew but he can't let that slide._

 _She untangles herself from his grasp, reaches for her key and plays around with it for a moment. He had to give her credit for the swift movement in which she opens the door, but his attention is soon on her again when she turns around and brings her hands to his chest._

 _Fingers playing with his scarf and the top button of his coat, she bites down on her bottom lip and looks up to him from under her eyelashes._

" _Want to come inside?"_

 _He swallows thickly, his body saying one thing his mind telling him to be sensible. "I would," he admits, hoping it's enough to not blow all his chances. "But you're drunk and I don't want you to do anything you might regret in the morning."_

" _Who says I will."_

 _He smiles at her stubbornness and her witty repartee even when drunk, but he knows he can't give in. "You can tell me tomorrow," he tells her next, taking one step closer. "I should go." The words barely above a whisper but the kiss he places on her cheek is a goodbye. He takes a step back then, smiles softly at her once more and turns around. Waiting near the stairs to see if she gets inside okay._

 _She stalls, hand on the doorknob but the lack of footsteps have her look over her shoulder again. She watches him standing there, her lips curling up into a grin. "Weren't you going home?"_

" _I am."_

" _God, that's cheesy."_

 _He laughs, shakes his head once before bobbing it in the direction of the staircase. "I live on the fifth floor."_

 _Donna's mouth drops and albeit the alcohol she can feel the redness creeping up over her cheeks at her wrong assumptions. She looks down then, biting her tongues and forcing herself to take a deep breath before she wills herself to face him again. This time with her poker face on._

" _Right," she mumbles, pointing to her own apartment to indicate she's going inside. "Goodnight … " the pause that follows too long, his name has slipped her mind in the awkwardness. She eventually covers it by calling him, neighbour._

" _Harvey," he whispers then. Filling in what she couldn't, but what she can't hear anymore anyway as he watches the redhead disappear inside the apartment, much like the first time he saw her. Only this time around he still stands there when the sight of her is replaced by that of a dark door and three brass numbers. "Goodnight Donna."_

 _He exhales slowly, letting the events of the evening sink in as he watches the door. His body still on a high, his mind slowly coming down from the spiralling thoughts. It's then, as he stares at her closed door, that he remembers the text Mike had send him. Letting his hand tap against the wooden railing of the stairs, he contemplates his options. Eventually deciding that a glass of beer is more appealing than sitting at home alone._

 _._

 _Mike throws back the remainder of his beer, a throaty but satisfying sigh escaping his lips. He eyes the door at the end of the bar for the umpteenth time that night, his attention soon back on the group around him. His girlfriend sitting right next to him in particular._

" _Can't believe of all nights, tonight has to be the one that dickhead discovers what a book is."_

 _Rachel, Katrina, Sean and Tanner laugh loudly, much to Mike's agreement. The latter however just shrugs and continues his slightly drunken rant._

" _He's usually the one to drag us all here."_

 _Rachel smiles softly, running her hand over her boyfriend's arm and patting it softly. "Just be glad he isn't asking for notes for once."_

 _Mike frowns then, glancing up at his girlfriend. "I don't take notes."_

" _I meant mine," she laughs, her hand now on his head, she runs it through his hair. "Not all of us have a photographic memory, babe." She smiles, but then just like Mike she looks around the bar in search for their friend, her eye landing on another brunette instead._

 _She presses her lips together in a thin smile and waves once, signalling for their fellow classmate to come over. They're not exactly friends since the breakup with her sister but they're amicable, and she admires the other woman's fierce._

" _Dana."_

" _Rachel," the petite brunette chirps in return._

" _You're late."_

" _Yeah, sorry. Got held up in the library."_

 _While the exchange between the two girls wasn't exactly his centre of attention, Mike does overhear the last sentence and his mind connects the dots pretty easily. He's never been a fan of his sister-in-law's ex, even less when the woman started hooking up with his roommate, but he understands now where his roommate had been and why he hadn't explained the specifics._

 _It takes one look from him to Rachel for her to think the same and while it isn't discussed in public at all, they know they're right when the man in question walks into the bar a strategic few minutes later than the brunette. The shit eating grin on his face, and the round of beers he gets for the group all the confirmation they need._

—

 _December 22nd, 2015_

 _A deep groan rolls of off her tongue, eyes still closed as every limb in her body aches but not even close to the throbbing pain she feels in her head. Everything about her state right now questioning why she let herself go this far the night before, but having just turned twenty-one, it's not like she has much experience with these types of mornings either._

 _She doesn't know it yet, but of all the hangovers to still come, this will always be the worst one._

 _She tries her might to open her eyes, the light peeking through the curtains she forgot to close the night before blinding her and she cringes in pain. A hand automatically falling to her head covering her eyes._

 _The movement so minor yet already too much for her to handle in this state, a wave of nausea crashing over her and she doesn't know how quickly she has to get out of bed. The extra movement only adding to the problem as she rushes to the bathroom, hugging the toilet for dear life._

 _An empty stomach, a shower and an attempt at looking decent later, the now moody redhead resurfaces into the communal living area. Her gaze automatically falling on a glass of water, aspirin and some toast on the coffee table. She looks up from the objects to her friend, a grateful smile spreading over her lips._

" _I see you had a great night," Rachel answers, a light chuckle to her tone as she watches the redhead drag her feet to the couch and drop herself down onto it._

" _The best," Donna agrees, nodding along for effect. She reaches for the medicine and water, finishing that first before taking a bite of the dry toast. "At least… I think I did." She sighs then. "Fuck," she exclaims now. "I promised to meet you at the bar, didn't I."_

 _Rachel smiles and nods._

 _The redhead's face falls."I'm so sorry."_

" _It's okay," Rachel reassures her, her reason for asking Donna to join them having been ruined anyway. She's not about to tell her friend that. "So tell me, what were you up to."_

 _Donna's brows knit together in a frown when she realises the answer doesn't come straight away and she has to actually think it over. Eventually starting with where she was. " I went to the uhm.. the what's it called, the German Christmas market."_

" _Weihnachtsmarkt," Rachel fills in, shrugging once when she sees the confused look on her friends face. "What I read it on the flyers."_

 _Donna groans and rolls her eyes at the smirk that got delivered with. "Yes that one, Mrs Ross. Anyway, I was there with my theatre group, but the rest of the night is kinda …"_

 _The pause and gasp that follow have Rachel's interest peaked. "Kinda what?" she asks, sitting down on the armrest of the couch as her gaze narrows in on her friend._

" _I think I kissed someone."_

" _What," Rachel exclaims in surprise._

" _I kissed someone," Donna repeats the words not sure if she's doing so for Rachel or for herself to make up her mind._

 _Rachel lets herself slide down from the armrest to the couch itself, sitting next to Donna now. "You think you did or you did."_

" _I… did? I guess," Donna answers at first, glancing up to Rachel with a somewhat worried smile before she closes her eyes and nods once. "No, did. I did," she confirms now, sudden flashes of the night before returning to her memory. "Shit. Shit. Ooh god."_

" _That bad?"_

 _She shakes her head, biting down on her lip to stop the grin from spreading over her face but she can't hide it. Instead, she looks down, a dead giveaway for her roommate._

" _You've finally met your match," Rachel states simply, her assumption based on the redhead's reaction just now and the numerous of stories she's heard over the last couple of months. The law student watches her friend think over the answer, a grin showing first but fading just as quickly as it came. "What's wrong about that?"_

 _Donna exhales deeply, biting down on her lower lip she takes a moment before she answers. "Nothing but I feel like I invited him over…"_

" _And."_

" _And I woke up alone, didn't I?"_

" _You did," Rachel simply answers. Having checked on her friend when she came home, the other girl had been sound asleep in her clothes from the night before._

 _And while she already knew that, hearing it being confirmed by her friend makes the reality of it all so much harsher. She swallows then, thickly. Eyes falling shut and she shakes her head at her own actions. "I fucking threw myself at a guy and he… God. You can't tell anyone about this okay."_

 _Rachel agrees instantly on the latter part of the statement, placing her hand on Donna's wrist for a moment. Squeezing it as a sign of comfort she waits for the redhead to look up at her again. "So who's the bastard that I now got to beat up," she jokes, but in reality, she's pleased that whoever her friend kissed that night, didn't take advantage of her._

 _Donna laughs now, the words so far from what her friend's personality is, let alone her small physique, she does appreciate the sentiment. Expect that from what she remembers, he wasn't a bastard at all. The kiss too good for him to be that. She closes her eyes again, thinking about Rachel's question and the moment in particular. She remembers the action, the sensations it brought along but she can't remember him. "I…" she mutters then. "I can't remember."_

 _It's the wrong place and time but Rachel can't help but chuckle, a sorry leaving her lips when Donna glares at her in return. "It's kinda ironic isn't it."_

" _What?"_

" _That you, of all people, don't know who you kissed."_

 _Donna nods. "I know."_

 _Rachel chuckles once more. "See."_

" _Shut up," she mutters, playfully pushing her roommate's shoulder. "What if it was my soulmate?"_

 _Rachel laughs now. "You don't believe in soulmates."_

" _I might now."_

 _Rachel shakes her head and pushes herself to stand. "Clearly you're still drunk."_

 _Donna wants to protest, but in all seriousness, she might still be. "Rach," she calls after the brunette. "Please don't tell anyone about this. Even Mike."_

" _I promise," Rachel answers again, extending her hand to her friend. Not to shake it, but to pull the redhead from her seated position. "Now let's make sure we get your drunken ass to Hartford for the holidays."_

 _._

 _Taking two steps at a time, Harvey descends the central staircase of the apartment building. His spirits still high from the events of the night before, it's when he wraps his scarf around his neck that it hits him again. The woman who pulled on that very piece of fabric, and maybe even his heart, still at the forefront of his mind._

 _His pace slows down when he nears the second floor and his gaze automatically lands on the door on the right. He contemplates stopping by, knocking on her door and talking to her even if he has no clue what to say or how to handle this post kiss morning. His nerves getting the better of him, he tells himself it's not wanting to run into Rachel that he doesn't stop by._

 _In the end, it doesn't matter anyway._

 _Peeking through the front door he spots her then. Her flaming red hair catching his attention like the first time he saw her. "Donna," her name leaving his lips on its own volition, he's taken aback and pleased at his actions all the same. Both turning into disappointment when she doesn't hear him, a response lacks and like the first time he saw her disappear into her apartment, this time he watches her leave in a cab. Her red hair makes place for the yellow car, the colour soon fading into the distance until the two taillights are the last thing he sees before the car turns left._

" _Hey."_

 _The second part of his greeting finally leaving his lips in a sigh as he stands on the doorstep now. The cold December air greeting him and he stuffs his hands in the pocket of his coat, already forgotten why he went outside all he can think about is how he didn't get the chance to talk to her. Another minute spent out in the cold he gives up on trying to remember his plans and instead makes his way back inside, deciding then he might as well do what he thinks the redhead did too._

 _Go home for the holidays._

 _._

" _Okay" Gordon laughs with a shake of his head when yet another question to his oldest goes unanswered. He places his glass of scotch down just loud enough to get his boy's attention. "Who's it?"_

 _Harvey frowns at that. "Who's what?"_

" _The girl that got my boy daydreaming like a kid."_

 _The law student nearly chokes on his glass of alcohol at his father's words. Coughing twice, he too places the glass down before he looks at his father again. The frown still there, not in confusion this time per se, but as a poker face. "No –" he pauses for a split second, changing his sentence. "I don't know what you're talking about."_

 _Gordon watches his son turn the glass tumbler around in his hand, letting the auburn liquid swivel around before he brings it to his lips again. Downing it in one go. It's the way his son can't look at him that he knows._

" _Harvey."_

 _He sighs but matches his father's tone. "Dad." It's one look at the familiar eyes in front of him, the memory of all the lies shared in this family that he caves. "It's… It's new okay. I just met her."_

 _Gordon smiles then, his instinct had proved him right. "What's her name?"_

" _Donna," Harvey answers softly. His frown returning when his father laughs right after. "What?"_

" _You might not remember," Gordon starts, "but as a kid, you used to stop by at the studio while we were recording this song, 'Bobbing with Donna'. It used to be your favourite for a long time."_

 _Harvey bites down on the corner of his mouth, remembering the days his father is referring to. "You're not going to tell me it's fate now, are you?"_

 _Gordon chuckles and shakes his head. "I'm not," he admits. "But I do believe that if she's the one, you'll know."_

" _Oooh." A loud fake squeal echoes through the room and both men turn to face the youngest Specter. The shit eating grin on the latter's face already telling Harvey his brother has it in for him. "Harvey is in love."_

 _The student scoffs at the eighteen-year-old. "Shut up."_

" _You are," Marcus chirps, sitting down on one of the barstools next to his father. He reaches for Gordon's class of scotch but it immediately gets pulled back. "You so are."_

" _I'm so not."_

" _Marcus," Gordon warns._

" _What?" the youngest objects with a shrug and he points at his brother. "Just look at his face."_

— _  
_

 _January 5_ _th_ _, 2016_

 _Harvey lets out a deep breath as he closes the front door behind him, exchanging the snow outside for the warmth inside the building. Crossing the hallway his gaze drifts off to the common area, a place he rarely if ever visits but it's a flash of red that catches his eye and has him halt in his step. He takes a moment to look, make sure and he hates how easily he's affected but by the way he feels his lips curl up he knows it's her._

 _Donna._

 _Eating lunch by herself._

 _He contemplates his actions for a moment, wonders if he should go to her or not. It's been over two weeks already and he hasn't spoken let alone seen her face since their kiss. He knows he was the one to give her an out but that hasn't stopped him from thinking about her. His mind running a hundred miles an hour now, coming up with reasons for him to move._

 _You, just like her, left for the holidays the day after, it's not like there was actually time for you two to meet again._

 _You didn't exchange numbers, so you couldn't call her._

 _Neither could she call you._

 _You have been thinking about her._

 _A lot._

 _Maybe she has been thinking about you too._

 _He lets out a deep breath then. Fuck it. He wills himself forward, making a quick stop at the coffee machine in the corner. He gets himself a black one and adds two sugars, giving himself an excuse for running into her like this as he sits himself down on the chair next to her._

" _Hey."_

 _Donna looks up from her salad, fork still in hand as she watches the man sitting next to her. But instead of a smile, it's a confused frown that spreads across her face. "I'm sorry," she mumbles then. "Do we know each other?"_

 _His mouth drops slightly but he's quick to recover and for a moment he thinks she might just be messing with him but when her face still reads confusion a few moments later he realises she isn't joking at all._

 _His confidence wavering and he swallows thickly once, it wasn't like he knew what he was going to say to her before but telling her they kissed isn't an option at all now. So he shakes his head, forces a small smile on his lips and he extends his hand, introducing himself. "Harvey."_

" _Well, Harvey," she repeats his name, taking his hand in hers for a second. "I'm Donna."_

 _He swallows in an I know, just looks at her instead._

 _She takes her hand back, glances at him again and then back to her salad. She takes a moment to think over her answer but ends up saying it anyway. "I'm sorry," she whispers. "I don't want to be rude but I - I'm not really looking to date anyone right now."_

 _He's surprised by her directness, shakes his head but then realises it's exactly what his motives were. "How did you know I –"_

 _She laughs softly then, shifting on her chair to face the stranger in front of her. "I'm Donna.. I read, I analyse," She chimes up her signature tricks. Ending them with a shrug. "I just do."_

" _Right," he mutters, can't help but smile at the way she saw right through him even though it was just as much her doing that when they actually met. "I was hitting on you."_

" _I can't blame you though," she counters, proudly grinning and pointing at herself. It's the laugh on his part that has her silent for a moment and she doesn't know why she's breaking the promise she had Rachel keep, but she ends up telling this stranger anyway._

" _It's just…. I already made a fool out of myself before the holidays with one of the tenants in the building," she whispers. Pressing her lips together in an apologetic smile, she continues before he can ask. "I drank too much and basically jumped this guy and I guess I scared him off."_

 _He can't help but grin now. She might not remember him, but she remembers what happened. Or maybe just maybe she was playing with him after all. "That would be me."_

 _Donna laughs loudly this time, her hand tapping his bicep in a playful manner. "Smooth," she counters, shaking her head. Not realising he's telling her the truth._

 _He sighs again and swallows thickly as his overbearing thoughts of the last couple of weeks come crashing down right in front of him. He bites down on his tongue, thinks over his options. Ways to tell her he is telling the truth, but before he gets the chance to do so she kills any hope he might have had left._

" _It can't work anyway."_

" _Why not?"_

" _Because he lives in the same building."_

 _Her answer not what he expected it to be and he can't help but ask. Even if she thinks it's purely hypothetical. "Why would that be a problem?"_

" _My ex," she answers. "We lived in the same building and when things ended it got ugly, he got me kicked out and I just moved here and I can't have something like that happen again. It's a rule."_

 _Harvey swallows and nods._

" _Right," Donna mumbles as she turns to look up at him. "Enough about me, where do you live."_

" _Here," he answers truthfully, signalling the building with a bob of his head._

 _She chuckles again, looks down even to hide her blush. "You sure know how to keep up the 'I'm him' act, I'll give you that."_

 _He doesn't smile anymore, simply asks instead. "What if I'm not?"_

" _But you are."_

 _He watches her quietly, the way she grins and seems so un-phased by his presence that she returns her attention to her lunch. It's then that he realises he'll never be able to tell her it's actually him and even if he could, that it won't matter. She has her rule._

" _Yeah I am," he tells her now. Hands tapping against the table in defeat, he pushes himself to stand. "It was nice meeting you, Donna."_

* * *

Friday, November 30th 2018

Gordon leans against the doorframe of the kitchen, head tilting to the side as he lets his gaze drift from his oldest son to the digital display on the microwave. The latter telling him it's one in the morning and even though he's used to his oldest son's quirks, the sight of Harvey thoughtlessly staring at a glass of scotch concerns him.

"Pour me one too, will you?"

Harvey wakes from his thoughts, automatically looking over his shoulder in his father's direction. The voice already giving away who found him sitting here, he can't help but feel relieved that out of the three other people in the house, it's his father.

He reaches for another glass then, filling that and refilling his own with two fingers worth of the auburn liquid. He quietly moves the tumbler over the kitchen island to his father and it takes one look for the younger man to know what's on his father's mind. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Harvey," Gordon replies. Pausing for a moment as he takes a hold of the glass. "I just want to know if you think it's a good idea for you two to do this, that's all."

Harvey exhales deeply, his gaze returning to his own glass and he stares at the content of it for a moment. It might have been him who asked her to do this, and the reasons he told her sound so trivial compared to what's really going on.

"It's never going to be her," he answers, the only reason he ends up spilling the truth now, just like all those years ago, is because it's his father asking. "She doesn't –" He pauses, unable to finish the sentence. He takes the glass from the counter and takes a large sip, can't help but think about the rules she made him agree to. The last one in particular. One he already broke before it even started. "And yet people always think that we – So… So if I, ever, want to move on… This is the only way.."

Gordon watches his son, thinks about everything he's seen over the years and today again but it isn't his place to tell him or possibly give his son false hope. So he does the only thing there's left to do, support him.

"I hope you're right."


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello everyone, remember me and this fic. It's been way too long, but here's another part. The story is slowly moving forward, but the trash is real and the rating is shifting a little I guess... So this has some parts that made me wonder if it wasn't TOO much, but it's kinda needed and i tried to keep it them as much as i could. I do hope you enjoy this chapter (i'm off to FINALLY read post 816 fics myself) CAN YOU BELIEVE THEY ARE CANON? CAUSE I FREAKING CANT.**

 **Enjoy, and please let me know what you thought in a review. x - M**

* * *

MISTLETOE MYSTERY

PART III

Holding his breath, Marcus quickly turns around to hide behind the wall. Head leaning against the wooden framing; he lets the words he overheard his father and brother share sink in, repeating them and their meaning again and again.

Any other time he'd have given his brother shit about it, and he's pretty sure he'll end up doing so anyway, but at this moment all he can do is feel for Harvey. His mind already running a hundred miles an hour trying to come up with a plan their father would certainly disapprove off.

He would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for his phone vibrating and the screen lighting up the otherwise dark hallway that the two other men spot him from the kitchen.

It's Gordon who calls for his presence, and he's ready to be reprimanded for things he didn't do yet, but it's the one look on his brother's face that has him guarantee he won't tell the redhead before that.

Gordon nods then, first at Harvey, Marcus next. He takes one sip from his scotch and places the glass back down. "I'm going to head upstairs, don't make it too late," he announces to his two boys.

Marcus bobs his head up and down, rounds the kitchen island to take his father's place. Hand already having found the abandoned glass before he sits down, he offers a silent toast to his brother.

Harvey matches the gesture with equal sombreness, downing the alcohol in one go, needing it to deliver the next words out loud. "Thank you, Marcus," he says, pushing himself up from the barstool, he watches Marcus nod and then turns around to head upstairs.

The steps heavy and slow, taking the time to climb the two flights of stairs to the attic to clear his mind and face reality again. As quietly as possible he opens up the door to his old bedroom, his gaze automatically falling on the bed in the middle of the room. He watches her sleep then, for a second, until he sighs again.

Closing the door behind him, he walks around the room in complete darkness. Pushing the duvet to the side, he gets into the bed on the other side of the pillow mountain she built them. Eyes on the ceiling, it takes him another hour of listening to her breathing to fall asleep.

Marcus' grin only shows when he hears no more movement on the stairs. He looks down at his drink, swivels the alcohol around in the glass and toasts again. This time to himself, cause he might have promised not to tell the redhead, but they did always say all roads lead to Rome and if he has to, he is willing to draw them a map.

 _Friday, November 30_ _th_ _2018_

He rolls around, slowly and quietly. Besides the mattress squeaking underneath him, just like the night before, her rhythmic breathing is the only sound in the room.

The light cascading through the blind as the sun rises what woke him up this morning, it's her on the other side of the pillow wall next to him that kept him put. At first, he tried to fall back asleep, but his mind had other intentions.

The conversation with his father, and ultimately the woman right beside him, is what keeps him awake. He's certain of the words spoken last night, and he knows he shouldn't, but he allows himself just one morning and one morning alone of pretending there's no pretence at all.

It's then that he finally allows his gaze to drop from the ceiling to his left, his head hitting his pillow again. He can't see her but knowing she's there is enough. The smile tugging on his lips is torture in the worst possible way, body winning it over his mind.

He swallows then, closing his eyes and he rolls on his back once more. He is forcing his brain, his truths, to take over again.

She bites down on her lip, her hands resting flat on the mattress on either side of her body as she tries to regulate her breathing. Frozen, that's the word she'd describe her current state, eyes having been fixated on the clock on the opposing wall for the better part of ten minutes.

She's counted every second of it.

Hearing him stir, her own body freezes in that exact moment, and she can't understand why it's happening. What's different from waking up next to him the last time, or the time before that.

Nothing happened.

There's a bunch of pillows in between them, a joke on her part the first time it happened, and he kept it up ever since.

They're still best friends.

Expect they're dating now.

But it's fake. That's what Donna tells herself. Her eyes close the second she hears him exhale. She doesn't want to think about or read into the particular sound of this everyday thing, but her mind would have done it if it wasn't for the door of his room swinging open in that exact moment, followed by the lights being turned on and Marcus's voice echoing through the room.

"Rise and shine, lovebirds."

She flinches, and her first instinct is to pull the cover over her head and hide away, something she can't do because it would give away she'd been awake all along.

So she moves, ready to jump into a seated position and act taken aback. It just fails when her movement comes at the same time as Harvey throwing a pillow across the room, hitting her head instead of his brother's in the process.

"Aaauw. What the hell -"

It's her outburst mixed with Marcus's laugh that has him looking up and down the room, an apology on the tip of his tongue, it's one look in her direction that tells him she knows and it's okay. It's also the smile starting to form on her face that he knows what's next.

He just about dives away from a pillow meeting his face, knees hitting the ground he grabs another and he finally, just like the redhead, successfully manages to toss it to his brother. Hers hitting the 21-year-old on his head, his hitting his brother in the groin.

It's the groan on Marcus' part and her laugh that follows, that makes him forget about the evening before. His hands soon find the next pillow, and this one too is thrown in his brother's direction.

The older duo eventually wins the battle when Marcus rushes out of the room again, pulling the door shut behind him and only announcing that Gordon is making them pancakes from the other side of the door.

She hears him exhale deeply again this time, the sound the complete opposite of what she heard before and her

stomach twists at that realisation. She can't help but look at her best friend though, her gaze locking with his and her arm with the pillow still in hand quietly drops to the limited space in between them.

It's Harvey who breaks the silence then, a smile spread across his face as he watches her. "Good morning."

"Hey." Her voice so soft it surprises herself, averting her gaze she scrapes her throat once. Uses a free hand to brush her unruly bed hair out of her face and she repeats the one worded greeting louder and more confident this time. "Hey."

He swallows thickly at the first word out of her mouth, it briefly making him forget this is all just a show except it's just them, and it's a rule. So is it? Just a show. He realises it is when he hears her repeat the word, his smile faltering in the process. Something he covers up by pushing himself to stand, he reaches for a stray pillow and drops it on top of the duvet again.

"I'll uhm…" he pauses, looking down at his feet for a second before he makes his way to his weekend bag on the chair. "The bathroom is yours," he tells her next, pulling out a clean shirt. "I'll see you downstairs in a minute."

"Ye _ah"_ the second half of her agreement dying on the tip of her tongue as she catches her breath instead. Slowly she drops back down from her knees to a seated position, and she watches Harvey gather his clothes as she gathers herself.

.

Marcus reaches for another pancake from the stack on the middle of the table, his gaze, however, moving from left to right to the two people sitting across the table from him. The distance between them now bigger than last night, the conversation tense and the playful laughter he heard earlier that morning replaced by silence. The youngest man internally groans at the awkwardness of the situation and the stupidity of the deal his brother and the redhead made

Its when the latter asks Harvey what they're doing today and the casual way in which Harvey answers, being the perfect boyfriend in words, except being anything but that in reality that the youngest Specter man can't stop himself from speaking up anymore.

"Look at that, Harvey actually sounding like a real-life boyfriend."

"Shut up," Harvey growls in a low response at the same time Gordon merely uses his youngest son's name as a warning, that however not enough to stop the twenty-one-year-old.

"You're not fooling anyone, you know."

Harvey's eyes flicker up in a beat, gaze sternly falling on his brother. The words could mean more than one thing, and at first, he feared Marcus breaking the promise he made the night before, but it's when the latter signals both the redhead and himself with his knife that he knows he's referring to their fake-dating deal. "Right," he mutters, not believing a word of it and he rolls his eyes then, slow enough for Marcus to see how unbothered he is about it all.

"Right," Marcus parrots in the same tone, a chuckle following and he demonstratively looks from left to right. "Cause over the last day I've seen the two of you touch, exactly…" He pauses for dramatic effect, flashing a smile at the redhead at that exact moment because he knows that if she hadn't been the topic of conversations, she would have appreciated his timing. "Ooh, that's right. Not at all, but uhm good luck making the people you live with believe you two are dating."

The knife she was holding almost drops from her grasp, she turns to look at Harvey upon hearing those words, but he doesn't turn to look at her at all. Instead, his brows knit together as he bobs his head to the side to challenge Marcus' words.

"You don't know shit," Harvey fires back.

"Harvey," Gordon warns his oldest son now.

Dropping his cutlery on his empty plate and pushing himself to stand. His hand deliberately landing on Donna's shoulder and he has to credit her acting skills for the fact that she doesn't even flinch, but he doesn't wait for her to look up at him either. "Come on; let's go."

.

It's near midnight when she follows Harvey up the stairs to his bedroom. Marcus's comment from that morning still on her mind and her stomach is still twisted because of it. She tried so hard to ignore it, to ignore what the younger man said and believe that he indeed didn't know shit as Harvey put it. And as much fun, as she had with her best friend today, she couldn't help but focus on the accusation, so much so that she actually ended up counting.

Three.

Three times, that's how often or rather how little, they'd touched throughout the day. The first time when he placed his hand on her shoulder, but she knows it was just to prove Marcus wrong and that's why it doesn't count which leaves them at two.

Two touches in over fourteen hours. One of them being a shoulder bump, a motion as quickly ended as it came and just done to get her attention. The other touch when he held the door open for her, and she tried to take the door from him, thus making it accidental.

She takes the last step, rocking back and forth on her spot as he opens the door in front of her. The quick math question done in her head, she can only come to one conclusion. "What if Marcus is right?"

"What?" he asks confused, stepping aside and turning to look at the redhead as she follows him inside.

She pulls on the sleeve of her cardigan, turns on her spot and takes a deep breath before speaking up again. Now blaming her worries on her theatre major. "What if we can't make them believe we're together?"

"Because we don't touch?"

She nods and shrugs once. The way she watches him give the door a toss, making her agree verbally as well. "We don't," she says, it's the hard truth. "We spent the entire day walking across town, and we bumped shoulders once, that's not –"

He swallows once, knows she's right, but she also asked him not to pretend when it's just the two of them. That also is an excuse cause it's just not who they are or how he can be with her just being this. "It's a rule," he tells her nevertheless.

She laughs then and shakes her head. She should have known he would turn it around like this while she means them in general. "That's bull shit," she counters in a beat. "Even before all this. We don't touch; we just don't –"

"We could." He takes two steps across the room, his arm already extending in her direction. "How hard can it be," his sentence ending with a laugh when his hand bumps against the back of her hand instead of holding it.

She knew it was coming but her breath hitches all the same, and it was just a brush of hands. She scoffs then, hiding the unease she can't place, and she looks away from him. "See, Marcus is right," she motions to the room next door with her hand. "We can't even hold hands."

The second time he reaches for her is just as predictable as the first, but she's still unprepared for what it does to her. Feeling his hand fall around hers for real this time, it's not just her breath hitching it's as if time stops. Her stomach flips and her gaze instantly drops to the space in between them. His grasp on her firm, holding her hand and her fingers fold around his thumb on their own volition. It's still not the most logical way to hold each other's hand, but it oddly fits and feels right. That alone setting every nerve ending of her fingertips on flame.

He holds his breath at his actions, half expecting her to pull away. He only exhales again when she doesn't, and he slowly turns to look at her when she doesn't speak either. He watches her watch their hands, a sight he never imagined to witness and now one he'll silently treasure. Smiling softly he lets his gaze travel over her face down to their linked hands and then back up at the room around them. Spotting the standing mirror in the corner of the room he takes a step towards it and slowly tugs on her hand and wordlessly asking her to follow him.

Her stomach flips once more, and the movement breaks her out of her daze. She looks at Harvey now, her head tilting to the side. Her way of asking him what he's doing but she follows him regardless of the answer that's about to come.

He smiles at her in return, bobs his head in a plea for her to follow him. Hand in hand he guides her across the room, coming to a halt just in front of the mirror. "See," he speaks, at last, looking at the redhead through the reflection. "We can hold hands." These words pronounced with an extra squeeze. "We just need a little practice."

"Practice?" she repeats cautiously.

"Someone once told me acting isn't just going on stage without reading the script first."

She chuckles at him recalling her own words, it isn't exactly what she said all those years back, but she gets what's he's trying to tell her. She nods once and looks up, at last, letting her gaze meet his in the mirror.

"So," he mumbles now, swaying their hands a bit he watches the motion in the reflective surface. "Is this how we hold hands or?"

She thinks over his question for a few seconds, eventually moving her hand. She doesn't let go but turns her hand just so that instead of holding onto his thumb she's holding his hand, palms now touching.

Harvey watches her expression change, the small frown forming between her brows as she moves her hand in his. Trying to determine an answer to his question but when she doesn't verbally confirm this to be it, he slowly moves his pinky finger. Pushing her fingers to lose their grip on his hand, he doesn't let go but lets his slightly parted fingers slide over hers as he rotates his hand.

Spread wide, his fingertips rest against hers, and then he waits. The motion is allowing Donna to follow his lead but also giving her the chance to guide him.

She swallows thickly; her gaze remains fixated on their hands as she can't bring herself to look up at him. Her fingers however automatically complete his motion until her digits slip between his, slowly curling down making her hold his hand.

It's only then that he continues the movement, bringing his fingers down to the back of her hand. The gesture finished with one squeeze.

His firm grasp almost feels familiar already. The thought alone makes Donna hyper-aware of the moment and when she notices his thumb moving back and forth over hers in a slow caress, Donna's heart skips another beat.

"Donna?"

"Huh," she mutters at the soft pronunciation of her name. She quickly shakes her head to clear her mind and remember what he was he asked her. "Like this," she answers quickly glancing down again at their hands in the mirror, squeezing his hand this time around. "Like this."

"Good," he nods, lips pressed together in a thin smile.

"Good," she parrots, nodding once in return before she turns to face the mirror again. Taking in the sight of them as a couple, fake, she quickly adds in her mind, because the pit in her stomach is reminding her of a feeling she thought she'd never find again.

He studies her face, notices by the look in her eyes that her mind drifts off once again and he wishes he had the guts to ask her what that's about. But his fear of hearing the answer he knows he'd get prevents him from doing so.

And thus he stays silent, holding her hand and basking at the moment that is so uncharacteristically them and yet feels like the most natural thing in the world.

It's a full two minutes later when he feels his fingers starting to tingle, and he coughs once. A subtle way to ask her what now, cause he may have been the one to suggest this move he but he has no clue how to deal with the repercussions.

She opens her eyes again, not even realising she had closed them or how long they have been standing there like this. Cheeks turning red she flashes him an apologetic smile, but her hand remains unmoved.

She can't place why she can't let go, all she knows is that she isn't willing to. Not yet. In fact, the fluttering feeling in her stomach makes her so curious she hears herself say the exact opposite of what she should do.

"Hug me."

His breathing falters momentarily. "What?"

She bites down on her lip, instantly regretting saying it but she finds herself asking again. "Is it okay if we hug?"

He laughs then, a nervous habit, one he regrets when he notices her looking down, and it makes him do the same. He didn't mean to laugh at her or make her feel that he was, so he does what she asks.

Turning on his spot and pulling her in, his left arm slipping over her shoulder until her frame is resting against his own. His nose buried in her auburn locks, the familiar scent of her vanilla shampoo overwhelming his senses and it's only then that he can tell her the only answer he feels is right for that question.

"Always."

She had been holding her breath ever since she blurted out the question, but when her forehead finds his shoulder, she inhales. Deeply, the first time because she physically has to, the second time because it's his scent she senses everywhere, captivating her in a way she didn't think was possible. But here she is, hugging her best friend for the very first time in her life. She's glad her hair and his sweater shield the way her eyes twinkle from him, and she bites her tongue to stop herself from smiling.

It's his heartbeat she hears and feels thumping against her skin, a rhythm she knew existed but never realised how in sync it was with her own. Her free arm moves around him them, finally doing what she asked him to do. Hand sliding over his shoulder blade until she grabs a handful of his shirt, holding onto him like he's holding onto her.

Just like the first time they held hands, their first hug isn't standard. It's not perfect, but Harvey thinks it's them. He closes his eyes and thinks about how they got themselves into this position, her hand still entangled with his own as proof, and he realises then that her question was just the next step of his own.

Practice.

His eyes open again and he does his best not to sigh, blinking twice he forces himself to focus on the purpose of this motion. The one they shared, are still sharing, just not smooth enough not to raise any suspicion.

"Is this how we hug?" He asks now as if he's a method actor and he's going over a script, rehearsing over and over, not to be the one to screw up.

And maybe he is, but most importantly he wants to respect her rules. Make sure she is okay with what they're doing, with the role he asked her to play.

His question gets her attention, and she roughly awakens from a dream that simply can't be. Because the facts don't add up, her feelings, however, a thought she doesn't dwell on.

She feels herself shaking her head, letting go of his hand at last. The cold air hitting her slightly clammy hand and she chuckles once, to lighten the mood, but it's the tension that pushes it out of her. "I…" she whispers then, not fully having found her voice yet.

He pulls back ever so slightly, just to be able to look at her but he isn't willing for her to look him in the eye. Afraid of what it might reveal. He swallows thickly, tells himself to get his grip together.

"Two arms," he fills in her lack of words, not because he knows that is what she was thinking but because it keeps him in control. Allowing him to dictate the future and minimising the chance for emotions he can't be feeling to take over.

Something he realises he's close to failing anyway when her now free hand slides over his side to his back as well, bringing them back to the limited distance between them of before, but this time it feels even closer. Just being wrapped inside her arms, as if she's holding her world. It's just the other way around; his world is holding onto him.

He exhales deeply, eyes falling shut before he recreates the movement. Folding his free arm around her, to prove to her, to Marcus, but mostly to himself that he can do this and that it's not a big deal.

Except it is, so he breaks the moment by tickling her sides. It was a way for them to part without the awkwardness returning, and her laugh in his shoulder does exactly that, it reminds him of this morning. The pillow fight they had and how easily they can slip from serious to playful.

And thus he finds himself wrapping his arms around her again, except this time it was unannounced and from behind. His chin resting in the crook of her next and her laughter subsided the second his tickles stop ad he doesn't let go.

She swallows, almost flinches at his embrace but she thinks she covered it well enough. She doesn't know how to respond, not right away and thus she lets it happen longer than she should. Her look eventually finding his in the mirror. Bobbing her head to the side, she asks him the silent question.

"Practice… uhm.. practice makes perfect."

It's the truth, but it's a bullshit excuse to hide behind. Yet the only one that can justify his spontaneous actions. He slowly releases the grip on her waist, his hands sliding to her hips and when he feels Donna tense again, he uses that as a way to draw her attention away from him. "I thought you were a theatre major," he continues. "Can't have you flinch in front of Mike or Rachel now can we."

She chuckles once, shakes her head and gives him a look that says I don't flinch.

He presents her his Cheshire Cat smile. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"No, I don't," her answer comes in a beat and with her elbow playfully hitting him in the ribs. A distraction as she watches her reflection upon taking in his words, her pale skin flushes. She moves her head forward, making her auburn locks the redness to cover her face, and she turns around then, still half in his embrace. Her palm now flat on his chest, she lifts herself on her toes. No clue what she's doing, bringing her lips to his ear but it has become a game, and she has to win. "Who's looking like a ghost now."

He is, he thinks. Frozen, he stands there in front of the mirror. His best friend inside his embrace and everything feels surreal. "You can't even see my face. How'd you know."

She laughs then, stepping back and breaking free from his grasp at last. "I'm Donna, I know."

"Not everything."

She raises an eyebrow and bobs her head to the side. "I beg to differ."

He rolls his eyes at her; he's always admired her gift how she could handle herself in any given situation and often bluff herself out of one. But the truth is she doesn't. "And how are you going to prove that."

She demonstratively brings her hand to her chin, pretending to think for a moment but then a wide grin appears on her face. "We'll need pictures of us. Together."

"What?"

"You heard me," she counters, reaching for her phone and sliding the lock screen to the left to open up the camera, instantly snapping a picture of him before he can protest.

He blinks twice at the bright flash that crossed the room, shakes his head as he watches her handle her phone. "What are you doing?"

"Making this my new background."

He laughs at first but then sees the picture she took of him. "Oh no." He steals the phone from her hand, doesn't delete the picture she took of him, but he does take a new selfie — one where he tries a sultry look.

She confiscates her phone back before he gets the chance to set his selfie as her background. Once glance at her phone has her snort, she instantly looks back up at him shaking her head. "You're an idiot; you know that right?" Taking one more look at her screen, she chuckles again. "What even is this look."

He does it again, the slightly broody biting down on his bottom lip - look. His expression is faltering once again when he watches her trying to stop herself from laughing. He scoffs then. "It's sexy."

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it is."

"Really," she challenges him, taking one step in his direction. "You think this looks sexy," she asks, now copying the exact expression he had on in the picture.

He reaches for his phone as quickly as possible, snapping a picture of her and he makes it his lock screen. "See," he counters now, holding up her phone for her to see. "Hot."

"That's smoking hot for you, Harvey," she counters, taking his still unlocked phone from his hand. She opens up his contacts and changes hers to her name with an added heart at the end. Proudly smiling, she hands it back over to him.

He's the one to shake his head now, but a yawn overtakes him. Sidestepping her, he places his phone on his nightstand, pulls his sweater and t-shirt over his head and pushes the duvet aside in search for his sleeping shirt.

Pulling the black piece of fabric from under his pillow, he holds it in his hand as he motions to her phone. "Are you gonna name me bae on that now?"

She snaps out of thoughts, uses her laughter as a distraction as she mirrors his motion and makes her way over to what's become her side of the bed. "If I did, it would be hard to recognise you," she teases, letting her right knee slide over the mattress to sit down on top of it.

"Hilarious," he mocks her, moving ahead to pull his sleeping shirt over his head.

"Wait," she blurts out before she can think twice, her words stopping him dead in his tracks and it's the one second she needs to snap a picture of him like that.

"Did - Did you just?" He asks even though he already knows the answer and he doesn't know whether to laugh or not, but he does. Shirt falling to the bed again, he motions for her to hand over her phone.

She shakes her head, merely pulls it out his reach. "You have no idea how often Rachel borrows my phone, so if we're gonna do this. I need some proof."

Unbelievable. He shakes his head, but he knew all along what his best friend could be like. He doesn't question her statement directly but decides to throw her off her game just as much. "Is that your subtle way of asking for a dick pic?"

She nearly chokes on air, her eyes flickering back up from her phone to meet his and the satisfying smirk plastered on his face makes her dramatically roll her eyes. "If you ever send me a dick pic, I will delete your number and pretend we've never met."

He fake pouts. "Not like I want any of your nudes either."

She prides herself on being more prepared for this statement than the one before, and even though her eyes snap back at him in the same way. This time around she manages to make it a more challenging look. As if she's questioning the legitimacy of his words.

"Well … I mean." He stumbles over his own words, swallowing thickly, he realises there's no way out of this one after his first reaction. "You know you're hot."

Her expression changes.

"If you weren't my best friend, you know."

She grins but doesn't feel like it, can't place why his argument affects her the way it does, but all she has to blame is herself for this line of questioning. So she brushes it off, a way to let him off the hook but more to diminish the meaning behind any reaction she might have had. "Chill, I'm just messing with you. Geez."

"Show me," he requests her phone with a flick of his wrist.

She merely holds it up for him to see instead of handing it over.

"For fuck's sake, what the hell is that," his objection not even fully pronounced she already pulls her phone back. "Delete it."

She brings her index finger to the bottom right corner but misses the trash can symbol on purpose. "Done."

He questions her actions with a mere look.

"What?" She bobs her head to the side to match his. "You don't trust that I really deleted it?"

"Do I look clueless to you?"

She smiles then, much to his annoyance and she adds a shrug on purpose because she knows it will tick him off even more.

"Donna." He sits down on his side of the bed now and holds his hand up once more.

"What?" She objects with words but gives in anyway. Handing her phone over to him again. "It is your favourite movie after all."

"It's not."

"It is."

"Not."

"As if."

He laughs then, his signature smirk spreading on his face as he looks at her. "Who's quoting it now," he counters, momentarily forgetting it will only prove her statement.

He changes his position, scooting down the duvet a little until his head rests against the headboard. One arm propped up under it, he takes a picture of himself then, bare chest in plain sight and all. "There," he tells her, turning her phone for her to see.

She turns around, leaning down on the mattress. Body has been thrown across the recreated pillow mountain, her elbows just an inch away from his side as she studies the picture.

His gaze falls on her, the pillow mountain and he can hear Marcus' mocking tone from earlier that day how they wouldn't be able to convince anyone. He reaches over with his right hand and tosses the first pillow he can get to the other side of the room. His hand is already moving in for the second one when she speaks.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting rid of the mountain."

"What," she whispers, rolling away when he pulls on the pillow below her frame. "Why."

"You said so yourself, Marcus is right. And if we want to convince the rest we can't have this here," he explains, dropping the second pillow to the floor.

She thinks about their list of rules, no sleepovers being one of them. But instead of bringing that up she asks why anyone would notice.

"I don't know," he admits, flinging the third and last pillow to the ground. "But they could," he reasons, a sudden yawn escaping him. His eyes close for a few seconds as he yawns again.

Ready to call it a night, he suddenly remembers why he'd gotten himself into this particular mess in the first place. A sigh escaping his lips, he does the exact opposite of what is wise. To him at least. "We still don't have a picture of us though."

"Uhm… yeah," she mumbles, inhaling louder than she wishes she did. Pushing herself up to sit, she brings her hands to the edge of her sweater. Scooping the knitted material in her hands until she also reaches the bottom of her t-shirts.

Her arms are already in an upward motion when he feels his dick twitch and realisation hits him them. This isn't normal. "Don-"

"Relax," she cuts him off before he can fully pronounce what she knows would be his objection. But if they're going to make others believe they're the together the evidence has to suggest exactly that. That's what she tells herself, that and that she's an actress. But when the two layers of clothing leave her small frame, the motion making her auburn locks fall back down her shoulders, it are his wide eyes staring up at her that cause a shiver to run down her spine.

She tells herself it's the cold, not him watching her half dressed. It's basically her in a bikini top, something he's seen plenty of times. It's not a big deal, except when she leans back in, closer this time as her side collides with his, she realises that it could be.

Her stomach is flipping in a way she's only felt once before in her life, a feeling she didn't expect to experience. Not with him, but it's happening, even in the most genuine interactions. Curiosity and the trip of this feeling making her move even closer, bra-clad chest pressed against his bare one, her head on his shoulder.

Every nerve ending in his limbs is on fire yet his body is frozen, unable to move as she presses herself against him. His heart beat faster, ticking until it's the only sound he can experience. That until he hears the smacking noise first before feeling it. Her warm lips pressed against his cheek.

He could die now, happily but he won't ever admit it.

His heaven like state is broken with a flash and then the sound of a shutter. Hadn't even realised she had taken her phone from his hand again, taking that picture of them together he reminded her off, and for the second time this day he has to remind himself of how it's all just an act.

At least to her.

His thoughts confirmed when she mumbles a tada and moves away as quickly as she came. He breathes out, long and slow. The action taking everything and it drains him, every overwhelming and unplaceable feeling escaping him. It all embodies in the yawn that leaves his lips. He reaches for the T-shirt again at last. Pulling it over his head, he keeps the sweatpants he'd changed into earlier on. All he can do is lift the sheets and slide under them, body glued to the mattress again like before.

She stares at the two pictures she has taken of them together. The first in the exact moment she pressed her lips against his cheek and the surprise is visible in his eyes. The second picture is out of focus, but it's the way his head and his gaze turn just towards her when she is about to pull back that sets the butterflies free yet again.

She only moves to dress when she hears him slide under the covers. Placing her phone next to her pillow, she quickly reaches for her Star Trek shirt and slips it on over her bra. Undoing the button on her jeans next, she moves the bare minimum to pull the thick fabric down her hips and eventually just kicks the garment to the floor.

It's only after turning the light on her bedside table off, that she slides under the covers herself. Back hitting the mattress, she changes position three times in twenty seconds, a yawn leaving her lips at last but sleep doesn't come easy.

Her body but mostly mind still on a high of their interactions from the last hour, the last minutes in particular. The silence between them is deafening but she can't bring herself to say anything — not even a good night.

When his breathing becomes more regular, she allows herself to close her eyes. Her sight changes but the fluttering feeling in her stomach stays, and for the first time in years, she wonders if it was him all along.

 _January 5th, 2015_

" _So I met Mike's roommate, Harvey, today."_

 _Rachel looks up from her notes at Donna, she thinks for a moment. Wondering if they hadn't met before, she remembers wanting to introduce them just before the holidays, but her plan had fallen through when he'd hooked up with Dana, and she hadn't shown up at the bar. "You did?"_

" _Yeah," she answers, lifting the bottle of wine up from their coffee table. A silent question she only needs the nod from Rachel to pour both of them a glass. "He seems nice."_

" _That's one way to put it," she answers, there's a teasing tone palpable in her voice. She is friends with him, because of Mike and in some ways he reminds her of her roommate hence why she wanted them to meet, but she doesn't know him for him._

 _Donna's eyebrow raises, curiosity getting the better of her as she gives her friend a questioning look._

" _You know he has a reputation," Rachel clarifies. "And I mean, yeah I've had a good time hanging out him with too, but I wouldn't exactly say he's the person to call when I need something or just to talk."_

 _She hums then, in understanding but her lips press together in a thin line as she thinks back to her own experience. "I told him," she speaks then, shrugging once. "About you know, what I did before the break."_

 _Rachel drops her book to the table now, a chuckle leaving her lips and she shifts over the couch to reach for her glass of wine. "How come?" She asks, having been sworn to secrecy herself._

" _I don't know," the redhead counters in a beat, she doesn't. Circling the glass around in her hand she sighs. "I -" she pauses again, shaking her head as she thinks back to that afternoon. A laugh is rolling off of her tongue next. "He said it was him."_

 _Rachel's mouth drops, and she shouldn't be surprised cause she knows what he's like. She does, however, know that it's not him. "Trust me," she speaks then. "Whoever you kissed that night, it wasn't Harvey."_

 _She presses her lips together in a thin line, twisting her mouth a bit and she bobs her head up and down then. "I know."_

 _Rachel double takes her friend, the tone of voice she just used, is surprising her a bit. She'd wanted to set them up herself, maybe, but she hadn't expected to hear a hint of disappointment from the redhead herself after just having met him. "Everything okay?"_

" _Yeah," she mumbles. "It's just, talking to him made me think about it again. That mistletoe mystery kiss. You know, on New Years I ran into an ex, and I shouldn't have, but everyone was, and the clock struck twelve and… well you know." She shrugs. "Thing is, I might remember everything from New Year's Eve, but it didn't feel the same at all."_

She lets out another soft sigh, eyes opening again and she lets her head slowly turn to the right. Her gaze is falling on his now sleeping form and she can't help but wonder.

Except it can't be him.

Rachel so much as told her so.

Harvey even told her he made it up.

And yet, the way her stomach twisted and her heart skipped a beat more than once today has her confused. Why after her two latest boyfriends, and more importantly after all the moments shared with him before. Why is she now feeling something that reminds her so much of a feeling she'd been chasing for years?

She exhales once more, only turning her head again when the soft buzzing of her phone under her pillow calls for her attention.

She shuffled a little, hand blindly reaching under the soft fabric and she already has her screen lit up when she brings it to the front. A notification prominently displayed across her screen.

 **Your period is about to start in two days**

She removes the notification, locks the screen and places it on the nightstand. She rolls her eyes then, her rationale taking over, it suddenly all making sense why she doubted things after her break up, being near him now.

It is just her hormones affecting her judgement.

And thus it means nothing.

.

 _Saturday, December 1st 2018_

She takes a spoonful of cereals, slowly swallowing her breakfast she brings the piece of metal back to the ceramic bowl and thoughtlessly moves her spoon through the contents.

He chucks down the last piece of his toast, chewing quickly as he already brings his hot cup of coffee to his lips. It's then that he glances at his best friend, noticing her tired movements and the frown spread over her usually cheerful face. "You okay?"

"Huh?" She looks up at him, but an answer fails.

"You have barely touched your breakfast."

She rolls her eyes and gives him a pointed look. Doesn't need to look at his plate to know he already finished his breakfast. "Not all of us devour their food like animals."

He opens his mouth to comment, fire back on the commentary he hears more than once before how he doesn't take time to eat. Instead, he just bobs his head to the side, silently questioning her mood.

"I'm fine," she reasons, but she shifts over her barstool nonetheless. Her free arm wraps round her stomach as she winces at the uncomfortable muscle spasms. "Just a bit of cramp."

He nods then, her somewhat cryptic answer enough for him to understand what's going on. "Whenever you're ready."

She takes one last bite of her cereal, all that her body is allowing her to eat right now. "Just got to finish packing and we can head back."

"Do you want me to make you something for on the road?"

She turns to look up at Gordon, smiles politely but shakes her head. "No, I'm good thanks."

Gordon nods once, he looks at his oldest son then, but he too shakes his head and declines the offer.

"I could do with some," Marcus chimes in then, as the two best friends leave the kitchen to get ready for their trip back.

"You just had breakfast," Gordon objects, ignoring both Harvey and Donna's answers and making them a couple of sandwiches anyway.

"Not fair," the twenty-one-year old complains, leaning over the surface to steal the last piece of toast from his father's plate as compensation and demonstratively taking a bite out of it before his father can say anything.

He waits for the two college students to return downstairs, fully packed this time and ready to go back. It's his father who takes their stuff to the car as he leaves the three younger people to say goodbye, a hug shared with the redhead. A punch against his arm for his brother, he waves them goodbye as they join Gordon at the sedan.

It's when the car turns to the right at the end of the street and disappears from his peripheral vision that he finally does what he's been dying to do since the moment he learned about the arrangement his brother got himself into.

Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he scrolls through his contacts and searches for the one other person he texts besides the redhead when he needs his brother. Mike.

 _ **You won't believe who showed up with his redheaded girlfriend for the holiday**_

..

Harvey opens the back door of his father's car, taking her backpack from her hand before she can get out. He gets an amused but curious look in return as she climbs out of the car, he doesn't comment but merely gives it back to her.

He closes the door then, turning to face his father who has also gotten out of the car. He gives his old man a soft smile and a nod. It's followed by a roll of his eyes when Gordon calls his name and spreads his arms, but he complies willingly.

Patting his father on his shoulder twice, he ends the embrace with a soft sigh. "Goodbye, dad."

"Take care of yourself, Harvey," Gordon answers first before he glances at the redhead. "Keep an eye on him, Red."

She laughs, gives her best friend another amused look at his loud sigh before she faces his father again. "Always," she tells Gordon sincerely. "It was nice seeing you and Marcus again, thanks for having me this weekend."

"No problem, kiddo. You're the daughter I never had. Or should I say daughter-in-law now?" Gordon grins at the two young adults, when both fail to answer that he steps forward and wraps his arms around the redhead as a goodbye as well.

"Stay safe," he tells her next, "I do expect an invite to that play you told me all about this weekend and…" he pauses, reaching for the paper bag from the passenger seat. "For the way back."

"Dad."

"You didn't have to," Donna answers instantly but accepts the bag anyway when he holds it in front of her.

"I know, but it's a long trip."

"Thank you."

"Speaking of," Harvey interrupts them then, he glances at Donna for a moment. "We should go."

She averts her gaze to the clock above the entrance, checks the time and nods then. "We should," she agrees, swinging her backpack over her shoulder, she holds the sandwiches in hand and waves at his father one more time before following her best friend through the train station to the carriage with their seats.

.

He finishes the last bite of his ham sandwich, pulls the napkin from the table in between them and wipes his mouth and hands. Crumbling it up he wants to do the same to the brown paper bag when he notices she placed her sandwich back inside.

Harvey turns to look at her then, half of her sandwich in hand. She's barely eaten anything of it, and then he notices it again. Her eyes close and her face wincing in pain, the motion followed by an arm wrapping around her stomach. Just like that morning.

"You okay?"

She looks up at him, fakes a smile and when she says she is fine, again, she stumbles over the words and winces once more.

"Donna."

She wants to roll her eyes but barely manages a somewhat annoyed sigh. Hand pressing harder onto her lower stomach as she pushes herself to stand. "It's just that time of the month okay, no big deal."

He opens his mouth and closes it again, momentarily lost for words. He watches her pace a bit in the four-seat area they're sitting in. "You're in pain."

"No shit Sherlock."

"Don," he stops the pronunciation of her name halfway, tilts his head to the side and looks at her. "I just… I mean…" He pauses, doesn't know what to say. She's his best friend, but he's never seen her like this before. "Is there anything I can do?"

She shakes her head in annoyance, can't believe she's arguing about her period in the middle of the train. "Unless you can turn yourself into a hot bath or a chocolate bar, then no. So please just ... shut it," she fires back making her way down the aisle of the train carriage.

He turns in his seat and looks over his shoulder in her direction. Watches her make her way to the end of the cabin and closing the door behind her. He sighs then, for the umpteenth time that day. Just as he's about to turn around again an older white man speaks to him.

"Your girlfriend seems _nice._ "

He doesn't miss the condescending tone the words got delivered with, and he has to do his utmost best not to get up and give this man a piece of his mind. Or hands for that matter.

"She is," he answers, using words instead. Just like she would do. "And if it's all the same to you, shut it. _Please_."

He turns back to his seat without another word or look, can't be bothered by any more unsolicited comments and he sure as hell can't risk the chance of her overhearing any of it having happened already.

She holds onto the door separating one cabin from the next, her breath stuck in her throat, and she regrets it now. How she spoke to him, how she ran off in the middle of a train ride, in the wrong direction to even pretend she was going to the bathroom.

She glances at the four-seat down the aisle again, notices him talking to the guy pushing the beverage trolley. She waits another minute, to gather herself and when the trolley guy reaches the end of the cabin, she moves again.

A nod at the younger man who just crossed her path, she glares at the older man she knows said something to Harvey and then she turns to look at him. Her best friend, staring out of the window as the landscape slowly changes.

She scrapes her throat, it barely makes a noise but it's still enough to get his attention, and when she sits down on her seat she sees the chocolate bar on the side table. The sight alone enough to make her regret her previous behaviour even more than she already did.

She takes a deep breath before she speaks. "I'm sorry."

His lips twitch into a smile ever so slightly, but he isn't willing to go easy on her. Keeping his gaze away from hers he just asks. "For what?"

Donna has to stop herself from rolling her eyes, but her answer tells him she wanted to do that anyway. "Don't push it."

She watches him turn to look at her now, the soft smile on his face telling her enough already but she still feels like shit for the way she acted. Leaning forward, she reaches for the chocolate bar and opens it up. Breaking it into smaller pieces, she slides the bar over the table in his direction — a silent peace offer.

When he tries to grab another small block of chocolate, she pats his hand away. "The rest is mine," she reasons when he gives her a confused look. She takes another piece of chocolate herself. "Your species doesn't have to go through this hell every month."

He nods once, and even though there's nothing more, he can do about the situation he finds himself saying it anyway. "Sorry I couldn't turn myself into a hot bath."

She laughs loudly. "God, I can't wait to be home and take a long bath." The pause shared after her sentence is made up of mirrored smiles, a hint of tension that lingers towards awkwardness. Mostly because they're both silent."Sorry," she mumbles then, offering him his own chocolate again. "This must be weird for you."

It is, and at the same time it isn't, but he doesn't know which answer is appropriate or what answer she is looking for. So he asks."Why?"

She shrugs, reaches for her bottle of water. Using that as a distraction to deliver her next words. "Me talking about the monthly party in my pants.."

He can't help but chuckle at her phrasing, knew very well this was what she meant and yet she manages to surprise him. Like always, and the only way to turn it around is to do the same to her. "Well so that you know, with me as your boyfriend you're gonna have a party in your pants more often than that."

She chuckles again, shakes her head and looks down. "Thank you."

He tilts his head to the side, studies her. "For what?"

"For understanding," she answers. "For not freaking out. I don't know..."

"Just because you're my best friend doesn't mean I haven't noticed you're a woman, okay." He reasons, and his words make her glance up at him again. In her eyes, he notices something he can't exactly place, but he classifies it as him saying something weird. And thus he adds on to that recipe, making sure that look is exactly that, based on his unusual reply. "I paid attention in sex ed, thank you very much."

"Okay," the word dragged out, and it gets mixed with a somewhat nervous chuckle. "This is officially the weirdest conversation we've ever had, and yet it's oddly reassuring."

"What about that time I told you about Louis -"

"Nope." She shakes her head. "Not even close."

"Or when we got high and -"

"Captain Kirk is Macbeth, and I stand by it."

He rolls his eyes now, hasn't it in himself to tell her she didn't come to that conclusion just because and that the show is filled with references. But he won't give her the satisfaction of him knowing things about the greatest writer of all times as she refers to him on a near-daily basis.

"Fine," Harvey continues, trying to think of something else. "What about that time you showed your -"

"Okay, alright," she cuts him off before he can say more. The fact that they experienced that enough, it doesn't need to be rehashed in the middle of a train. "Still doesn't beat this one though."

He purses his lips and pretends to think. "I could come up with something," he reasons when he can't find another example at the moment.

"I bet you could."

"I will," he reassures her.

She shakes her head, already has to hold her laugh and the two words she utters next are words she'll regret the next morning."Try me."

" _Next stop, Grand Central Terminal."_

He rolls his shoulders, stuffs his bottle of coke back into his bag and then checks his watch. The four-hour train trip over in under five minutes, the holiday weekend in a day and then their act would start.

For real.

Them as a couple.

.

She turns around in front of her apartment door, her eyes slowly meeting his as he waits on the landing. "Thank you, Harvey."

He raises his shoulders, drops them again and smiles in her direction. "You know Rachel would kill me if she learned I let my girlfriend alone for the holidays."

It's the second time he says it, and it still makes her chuckle. But it also reminds her of the act they have to play, how it had been fun and games up until now but as of tomorrow. It would be their reality.

"Do you remember everything we discussed?"

He nods. "November 24th was the night you finally couldn't resist my good looks anymore; how could I forget." He grins proudly when she rolls her eyes. "You got enough proof?"

She is the one to nod then, reaching for her phone from the pocket of her jacket. She pushes the home button and holds it up.

He stares at a black screen. "Your battery died."

She turns the phone around to check, shrugs once and puts it back inside her coat. "Well, you know the picture we took."

He does, and he swallows thickly, shuffling on his spot to forget about that moment and what it did to him and him alone.

"So," she mumbles then, reaching for her keys and filling her hands and arms with any item she can find. Never, ever, has she questioned the way they say goodbye and today she's experiencing exactly that, and thus she eliminates any way for there to be physical contact between them. "It's been fun, but I have a bath with my name written on it waiting for me."

The foot that nervously scraped over the hardwood floor comes to a halt, and his head bobs up again. "Right," he answers, realising this is her way of ending their conversation, their weekend and saying goodbye. "I'll see you tomorrow."

She bobs her head up and down in agreement. Smiles one more time before she turns around to open her door. Getting inside without a verbal goodbye, when she glances over her shoulder he's gone.

The redhead kicks the door closed behind her, carrying her bag through the living room to her bedroom to toss it on her bed. The first thing she does is search for her charger and connecting it to her phone.

Still fully clothed, coat and all, she makes her way to the bathroom. Pouring some soap into the tub, she opens the tab to the bath, adjusts the temperature and presses the plug into the drain of the bath. Slowly letting it roll as she continues with her tasks at hand.

Undressing and unpacking are next, the content of her bag being sorted into three separate piles. She gets a towel and clean underwear from her drawer, her pyjamas pulled from under her pillow she brings the three pieces of fabric to the bathroom and checks on the water.

The bath now for a quarter filled, she lights one of the candles Rachel had stacked in the room somewhere, the sweet scent of vanilla soon filling the room, she gets a wine glass, a bottle of red and another bar of chocolate on a tray. Her favourite Shakespeare play placed beside it, she carries the tray back to the bathroom and places it on the small table next to the tub.

She is adjusting the tab one last time, adding a bit more cold water to the mix. She starts with removing her makeup and brushing her ginger manes. Her pants and shirt are removed next when she remembers she hasn't been able to check her phone in practically a day.

Running through the apartment in her underwear, she pulls her now almost fully charged iPhone from the cord. Not turning it on just yet, she places it on the tray as well.

Locking the door, she stares at the small room filled with everything she was looking forward to the entire day: a hot bath, chocolate, alcohol and a good book.

She leans into the tub and shower combo and pulls her bottle of shaving cream and a razor from the rack. Putting it aside next to the sink, she goes to the toilet. Kicking off her panties towards the clothing bin, she decides to shave now and keeping the water clean for her to soak in later.

Her bra ends up in the bin ten minutes later, she flushes the toilet and washes her hands. Observes her reflection, turning to each side twice as if she's a model. And she can't help but think about his nudes comment.

But as quickly as she thought came she pushes it away. Filling her glass with wine, she takes one large sip and fills the glass off again before finally getting into the bath she'd longed for the entire day.

The warm water covering every inch of her long limbs, a tired moan rolls off of her tongue, and her eyes close instantly when her head rests against the edge of the tub.

She stays like that for a full five minutes, the sip of wine she took early now making her crave for more, and she shifts through the water into a more seated position. Her hand soon reconnected with her glass of wine; she quietly sips half of it. Alternating every two sips with a small piece of chocolate.

Only when her glass is refilled again does she reach for her phone, turning it on at last. She was planning on texting her roommate, but the first thing she sees flashing up on her screen is that the brunette already texted her. In all caps. Multiple times.

 _ **OH MY GOD**_

 _ **DONNA ROBERTA PAULSEN**_

 _ **YOU AND HARVEY?**_

 _ **WHAT THE - WE NEED TO TALK. THE SECOND I GET HOME TOMORROW NEED ALL THE DETAILS.**_

 _ **AND I MEAN ALL OF THEM**_

"Fuck, fuck fuck."

It's a miracle she didn't drop her phone into the bath right there and then. With her hands are shaking, her breath is faltering and her heartbeat pounding a million miles an hour.

"Fuck," she mutters again, letting her eyes close and her head fall back against the edge of the tub. She likes to pretend this never happened, that the texts aren't real. That she never agreed to this plan, but when she pulls one eyelid open and pressed on her home button once more, she is faced by the five messages and a missed call again.

She contemplated her options, fleeing the country the first thing on her mind but also the one thing she can't possibly do. This was part of the plan she agreed to, except reality had caught up with the timeline she had drawn out in her mind.

The most logical thing would be to call her roommate right now and have it over with. To make it easier on herself to get through this conversation without being face to face, she, however, ends up calling him, and with a shaking hand, she switches to speakerphone, placing the object down and pouring herself another generous glass of wine.

He pulls out his phone from the pocket of his pants, lips automatically curling up into a smile when he sees her name. More so after she repeatedly told him on the train that she wanted a quiet night alone. "Miss me already?" he teases her the second he answers her call. "I thought you, and I quote," the sentence delivered with air quotes even though she can't see it. "Did not want to be disturbed while you enjoyed a long and relaxing hot bath."

She can't help but grin, his voice having a calming effect on her even now. And when her eyes close she can just picture him doing the air quote, a motion she knows he's doing even though she can't see him and for a moment she forgets why she called, merely countering his statement. "I did say that and who says I'm not doing so right now?"

"If that's the case why aren't we FaceTiming then?" He grins too proudly at his comeback, bringing the cold bottle of beer he'd been holding back to his lips.

"I don't have time for your perverted fantasies right now, mister," she cuts him off before he can say anything else. "We have an emergency."

"Wh-" he pulls the bottle away from his mouth, having nearly choked on a sip. He places it down and eyes the little plastic bag Mike had left hanging around on the table.

"Rachel knows."

"What," he answers again, brows knitting together as he tries to make sense of what she is telling him. "How?" He asks unsure if he even wants to know the answer, he leans forward and steals one of the joints.

His question is followed by silence because she doesn't know until a couple of seconds later they both break the silence by uttering the same name. "Marcus."

"I'm going to kill him," she answers all too quickly.

"That's my brother you're talking about," he counters, it's not him defending the younger man but more to tease her. He lights it then, taking a long drag.

She opens her mouth, briefly taken aback by his answer until she realises he isn't actually mad. "That's right; the honour is yours then."

He laughs, bobs his head up and down as he shifts over the new couch in the empty living room. "Is it such a bad thing though?" he counters, "they had to find out anyway. At least now we don't have to tell them."

"True," she admits in a sigh, her rebuttal covered before she can even start the sentence.

"Then what's the emergency?"

She thinks about it for a moment, the texts coming to mind again and she knows what she was like when Rachel and Mike first got together. She's going to need alcohol to bring this up, shifting in the bath, she reaches for her glass of wine with her free hand, turning her phone around in the other hand, she turns it onto speaker and places it back down on the side table.

"Because of the questions, Rachel is going to ask."

He rolls his eyes at her dramatic sigh but also knows the only way to get to the bottom of the problem is to ask. "Which are?"

"Well for starters," she takes another quick sip of her wine. "The most important emotional one."

He blows out a bit of smoke, purses his lips and wonders if he's supposed to know what the hell that means. It hits him then, and the words leave his mouth in a beat. "If I love you?"

"No," she answers in a beat, confusion washing over her face and she can just about hold her laugh when she realises that that is exactly what they are trying to make her believe. "Yeah, no…" she mumbles again cause that still wasn't the question she meant.

"Then what?"

She lets out a deep breath, eyes closing as she wills herself to say it while cursing herself for teasing Rachel with this. "How long-"

"We've been-"

"You. Are." She still has her eyes closed even after pronouncing the words, and she's never needed the alcohol more than in this exact moment.

"Oh." It's all he can say when he realises what she meant with the phrasing.

"Yeah."

He doesn't know if it's the weed, the beer or the absurdity of it all, but he laughs.

And it somehow calms her.

She chuckles then too, shakes her head and places the glass, she'd been painstakingly holding onto, back on the side table. Feeling once more how laughter, how joking around, is making this so much easier. And thus she does. "And don't tell me it's over six inches, that retweet was bullshit and we both know it."

He has to think about her comment for a moment and then remembers what he did in a drunken mood over a year ago. "Do you realise how much trouble you caused me over that reply of yours," he fires back about her calling him a liar. "But fine," his next reply comes with a loud exhale. "Five point nine and circumcised."

She laughs softly at the awkwardness of the conversation. She might have asked, but she wasn't certain he would actually answer. "Right," she mutters then, "any other identifying details I should know?"

"Not that I can think of."

"Does it curve to a particular side?" She continues to tease him.

He rolls his eyes but looks down at his groin all the same. "Are you sure you don't want a dick pic," he counters, bringing back their conversation from the night before.

"I… am."

Words barely pronounced when her phone vibrates on the side table, the notification sound that comes along with it tells her that it's a message from him. The topic of their current conversation making her cautious to check and curious all the same, even though she knows he'd never. Warningly pronouncing his name she reaches for her phone again, swiping to unlock the message he sent she laughs loudly when she sees the picture he sent.

One of a dicks sports store.

"Idiot," she counters, answering over the speakers but sending a picture of a nude eyeshadow pallet in return. Using that as a distraction as gives him some information in return. "34D."

They're the same but he still rolls his eyes at the picture she sent him in return, and he almost misses the number she tells him. "What?"

"It's my bra size," she explains. "Figured I owed you some intel too."

He grins, brings the joins back to his mouth hand takes another drag. "So are you a natural redhead or what?"

"I'm hanging up."

"Are you?"

She shakes her head, can't believe she hasn't hung up yet and finds herself answering anyway. "I am.. not that there's anything to see and I am actually hanging up now."

"Wait."

She does, again.

"What was our first time like?"

"What?" she whispers then, his question fully in line with everything discussed up until this point and yet it takes her off guard.

"I'm sure Rachel will ask you, and you know what Mike's like," he reasons. "So…You know, to get our story straight.."

"Ooh," she whispers, sliding down the bathtub a little further. "I guess it uhm was the night we got together."

He hums and thinks back to the cover story they decided on. November 24th, we weekend Rachel and Mike were away from campus. "At the party?"

"We did not have sex in a public bathroom, Harvey." She can hear him laugh on the other end of the line. "Or in the car on the way back."

"Shame."

She rolls her eyes and shakes her head. "You're impossible. You know that right."

He smirks at the way she calls him out. "Fine, indulge me. How did it happen?"

She bites down on her lip, eyes closing as she thinks about it. The story so far included the weekend they were left alone by their respective roommates and they had decided on having been at a party, possibly to take her mind off of the failed date she'd just been on, so that's where she starts."I guess we were out."

"Dancing?" he asks.

"You hate dancing."

"Maybe I was trying to impress you."

Her eyes close and she smiles to herself. "I guess it worked."

"Obviously."

"Thanks to the alcohol," she adds just to put a dent in his ego.

"Hey," he objects.

"Ooh come on," she continues. "I think we'd have to have been at least slightly drunk to end up grinding each other on the dance floor, don't you?"

He nearly drops the can opener he'd been using on another bottle of beer at her choice of words. "Grinding huh?"

She sighs with a hint of dramatic flair. "Ooh, so we were ballroom dancing now?"

"Grinding it is," he agrees. Tossing the opener back on the table, he leans against the backrest of the couch and starts his second beer. "Guess I couldn't help myself seeing you in that tight short dress."

He has never said anything but she remembers his face months ago, and she knows exactly which dress he's referring to. "The black one?"

He can't help but lick his lips, the sight of her in that never forgotten he can't agree because she never wore that for him. "Green looks better on you."

She blushes slightly and takes a mental note to buy herself a new green dress. "Okay, so I was dancing in a green dress, and I lured you on the dance floor with me."

"Short green dress," he corrects with a hum.

She repeats the three words and continues, letting her mind drift off and come up with a story fort hem to share. "At first we joke around a bit, going along with the music and eventually not even that. Just swirling around until I end up with my back against your chest." She grins to herself at the image she sketches in her mind. "You bring my left arm up and around your neck and then you trail your hand back down my side. I laugh, and you call me baby."

He stares into the distance, one eye closing he repeats the description she gave him again in his mind. It somehow being too specific, too odd and it reminds him of something. "What?"

She laughs. "It's from Dirty dancing."

"I've never -"

"Stop right there," she cuts him off before he can wiggle his way into a lie. Her hand even raised in the air; she reaches for her glass again. "I know for a fact you've seen it."

"Fine," he reluctantly gives in, but he also knows he has seen the movie in particular with her. Thinking about that night, the scene she was referencing comes to mind, and he decides to use her own tactics against her. "When my hand grazes your side boob, you shudder against me, and you whisper my name."

He can practically see her shake her head, but it's the soft chuckle on her side and the way he can hear her move around in the bath that he continues. Adding details tot heir story. "It's when the music slows down that you start to move your hips along with the rhythm, so I join you, holding you close at your waist and fuck it's so hot."

"And hard," she adds, snickering a little and she can practically hear him roll his eyes, but she figures it to be possible.

"Really?"

"Yeah, in that position you're describing. I can feel it."

He swallows thickly, he can feel it too. "You said we were grinding but fine," he reminds her but gives in at last. "I might have a small tent in my pants."

"Small?" She counters, remembering what he told her before. She shifts in her tub, bringing her knees up and she has to bite down on her lip.

He glances to the left, momentarily wondering if she can see him and if that's why she's calling him out. He scoots down a little over the couch, getting into a slightly more comfortable position but when that doesn't work, he gets up. Lifting his drink in his hand, he makes his way over to his bedroom. "Unless you want this story to end in a public bathroom anyway I'm not sporting a full erection on the dance floor."

She laughs once, her eyes closing at the images her visually oriented mind creates. "Okay. Okay."

"You're just as turned on as I am though."

His huskier than usual voice makes her take a deep breath that rushes all the way down her frame, she crosses her legs and curses the fact that she has to fight his words becoming the truth. "I am?" She asks him, partially teasing and questioning his statement where he gave in rather quickly, on the other hand, she's curious to know how he'd know if she were.

"Yeah, the lack of bra combined with how tight that dress is is kinda giving it away."

Her lips part slowly and her gaze drops to her chest, it now moving up and down quicker than before and she uses her free hand to bring more of the white foam up to cover her breasts.

He hears her inhale again and smirks, decides to add more fuel to the fire. "And when I turn you around, your frame crashing against mine once more. I can feel it too."

She tells herself the warmth of her bath is what causes her cheeks to turn bright red, but she knows better, she also knows he'll know if she ends this all right now, so she breaks the silence at last. "Okay." It's pronounced slower and hoarser than she intended to and she quickly speaks again in hopes to cover that. "That's when you kissed me."

He knew it was coming, and yet it surprises him all the same, the feeling it creates in the pit of his stomach he's fought years to ignore and he can't help but think back to that one night all those years ago. "I kissed you first?" He repeats softly, "I think it was the other way around."

He hears her laugh and he just knows she's shaking her head. Her next comment about how the alcohol must have clouded his memory stings more than he's willing to admit. "You kissed me," he hears her say again, and he nods to himself. He is shifting over the duvet until he sits up straight against his headboard.

"And you kissed me back."

"I did," she whispers slowly.

"Don.."

"That's how you say my name after we part, we smile, and that's …" she pauses for a moment, thinking over the next part of their story. "That's when you say something else."

"What?"

"That we should move this to my room."

" _Let's get out of here."_

It was her saying it, but he doesn't correct her anymore. Knows there's no point, she doesn't remember it, and more importantly, she doesn't feel it. This conversation is all just part of the act; he asked the theatre major to play. So he does too, plays along.

"Did we?" He asks then. "Uhm.. move it to your room."

"Yes," she answers in a beat; it was the given they started this entire conversation with. "We had a hard time getting there though."

"Why?"

"Because you couldn't keep your hands off of me."

Her words would be the truth if he ever got the chance again, but he can't let her put the fictional blame on solely him. "That's because you kept kissing me, and teasing me." He pauses for a moment. "Driving me insane."

"That's why the second we're inside you have me planned on the dresser against the wall."

He can't help but picture the place she's describing, the painting falling clattering against the red painted wall and the other contents falling to the floor in his mind. "Kinky."

"You can't help yourself."

"Ooh, I think the way you wrap your legs around me and moan my name is giving away you enjoy it thoroughly."

"Well, I'm about to get thoroughly fucked so yes."

Her response has him nearly choke on his salvia, and he has to cough a few times for him to find his voice again.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," he croaks out, coughing one last time before he comes up with an excuse. The joint he'd stolen from Mike, already finished so it's a lie, but he almost wishes it wasn't

"You really should stop doing that shit."

It's not the first time she tells him that, but given the situation, he's gotten himself into it's the first time he agrees. "Well, I guess I would be willing to give it up if that's what makes my girlfriend happy."

"It is."

"Fine," he agrees to stop with something he never really started, not like Mike and Tanner, but hearing it would make her happy is that extra incentive to let it go altogether. "So," he mumbles then, letting his fingers impatiently tap against his knee as he stares into the distance. Moving from one room to another still not having done anything to reduce how worked up he is. "Is that the story or do you need more details."

She takes a deep breath and bites down on her tongue as she shakes her head. A gesture he can't see but one for herself to tell her this is where the conversation needs to end. "No," she answers then. "I think I'll be able to finish –"

"What," he interrupts her sentence, her words taking him by surprise and exciting him at the same time. "Are you –"

"No," she cuts him off, unable to hold back a laugh at the thought alone but she has to throw his question right back at him. "Are you?"

She might have said no but the thought alone of her doing that makes his dick twitch anyway, his pants now feeling even tighter than before. He adjusts one leg but answers truthfully. "Nope."

"Okay," she quickly continues, "Well what I wanted to say is that I'll come – "

"Are you doing this on purpose?" he throws back at the exact right moment.

"Stop it."

"What?"

"You know what."

He chuckles to himself, slowly shakes his head at the absurdity of the conversation they just held. "Well," he breathes then, shifting over his bed once more. "I'll trust you'll give this story a happy ending."

It's Donna who laughs aloud now, her head thrown back in genuine laughter. "I'm not a masseuse, Harvey."

"Doesn't matter."

"You're an idiot."

He ends the call right after, a heavy breath escaping his lips. The last thing she told him the most innocent of all and yet it's the one that ignites a warmth in his chest that spreads down to the not so small tent in his pants he'd been ignoring throughout the phone call.

He tosses his phone on the duvet and lets his gaze drop to the point where his jeans have become uncomfortably tight. "Fuck."

He stares at his groin, wills his mind to think of anything to calm it down: the law, an exam, his roommates. But the knowledge of her having been in the bath while on the phone with him gets the better of him every single time, that combined with the images his joke created. Her finishing herself off thinking about their fictional first time, it's when he thinks about her long fingers slipping between her legs yet again that he undoes his own pants and slides his hands down his boxers.

.

 _Sunday, December 2nd 2018_

She pulls on the zipper of her training jacket, rocks back and forth on her feet. Stretching on her place as she closes the door behind her. Deciding to go on a morning run to clear her mind before Rachel returns later that day, she moves down the stairs as quickly as possible. Not even glancing up like she usually does, she really hopes to escape him. For the time being at least, she needs to figure out what the hell last night was on her own but she runs into him before getting the chance to do so.

Taking two steps back after the collision, her head tilting up to look at the other person. Her eyes widen when she sees it's him and her cheeks flush. She sees the same confused and then shocked expression wash over his face, and she has no clue what to say or what to do.

Her eyes still trained on his, for once she doesn't want to be able to read him like a book. To know if he did what he said he didn't do. His face is red, and he's out of breath, clearly just having come back from a run himself but that's also all his expression tells her.

A somewhat relieved sigh, mixed with a smile leaves her lips until it hits her. He usually isn't the one to read another person, but he has his days. Most often with her and right now she can only hope that today isn't that day. That he doesn't see that she did.

Cause she did.

She figures it best to break the silence first. To have the upper hand, to be in control. So she shifts again, pulls on the edge of her sleeves as she musters up a smile, a greeting leaving her lips next.

"Hey."

" _Hey."_

* * *

 _that's it for now, we'll eventually reach christmas hehe. let me know what you think._


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello, remember me? And this fic? This has taken way too long and I'm so sorry. Life's just been busy and inspiration has been a bitch (3 one-shots aside that happened out of the blue), I feel like I've been working on this chapter forever and while it's formatting wise not what I envisioned it to be, I decided it's 1) long enough already and 2) cruel enough to end where it does. So here's a new chapter; it are all flashbacks. There will be lots of parallels to come, so yes there's a purpose to the backstory, but for now, I hope it gives some insight into their relationship and why they stand where they stand in present time. Enjoy, and let me know your thoughts in a review. They're always a big inspiration.**

 **x - M**

* * *

 **MISTLETOE MYSTERY**

 **PART IV**

* * *

 _January 15th, 2015_

 _She clears the table, stashing the empty glasses on her tray and makes her way over to the next seat. She steals a look at her colleague down the other end of the bar. The student, just like her, finishing up for the night and when the younger woman looks at her too, she signals that she'll finish the last table._

" _Thanks, Wheeler," the redhead smiles when the blonde meets her behind the counter. They work side by side on cleaning the glasses and the countertop; a towel tossed back and forth whenever the other needs it._

" _Hey," Samantha calls after the freshman student, she waits for her to turn around and face her again. "Do you have plans for tomorrow night?"_

 _Donna frowns a bit, it's not uncommon for the blonde to talk about what's buzzing on campus, she'd never extended an invitation though, but she did have plans. With Stephen. A nod follows, and she shrugs apologetically. "Why?" she can't help but ask._

" _There's this party in my apartment building," Samantha explains. "Birthday from some guy three floors up, but they always invite the entire building, hence."_

 _Donna smiles and thinks over her friend's words. "Sounds fun, but I am going away for the weekend."_

 _The blonde laughs and shakes her head; she could have known. Nine out of ten times she asked, the redhead had plans. "Your loss."_

 _._

 _._

 _January 18_ _th_ _, 2015_

 _She runs a hand through her hair that Monday evening, a tired sigh escaping her lips and she drops her forehead onto her folded arms on the bar._

 _Samantha glances at Donna, a hand landing on the redhead's back in support. "Was your weekend that bad," she teases when she moves along, pulling the fridge open and reaching inside for two drinks, sliding one over the bar to her friend. "Told you, you should have come to the party. It's a shame you couldn't make it."_

 _Donna bites down on her lip, hand falling around the cold bottle and she brings it to her lips for a refreshing sip. She knows Samantha is just teasing her; she can't help but play along. "Miss Wheeler, are you flirting with me?"_

 _Samantha laughs, wholeheartedly. They both know their banter is harmless._

 _"What if I was?"_

" _I don't think your girlfriend would appreciate it," Donna counters in a beat._

 _The blonde nods in silence, she takes a sip of her drink, and she grins then. "I think she'd understand," she counters, signalling the redhead with a bob of her head. She laughs, recalling a memory from the weekend. "Her ex was there too, and he was so drunk he made a complete fool out of himself trying to hit on me. God, what's his name, Ha… Harold? Harvey," she finishes chuckling again. "Anyway, you should have been there."_

 _Donna smiles softly and glances down. Taking in the compliment, she realises then she doesn't know much of her colleague's personal life. A lot of information just shared; she focuses on the important one. "How did you meet her?"_

 _Samantha stalls for a moment to take a deep breath and then sits down too. "Pride party at orientation week last May," she explains, "and well we had a night."_

" _But?" Donna asks, sensing there's more to the story._

" _Woke up the next morning and she was gone, didn't have her number and tried to forget about it, but she happened to have a summer internship at my dad's firm." she pauses for a moment. "It was an awkward first day, but by the end of the week we picked up where we left off, and it's been eight months since."_

" _Wow," the redhead breathes out. "That's -"_

" _I know it sounds fake when you put it all together, but-"_

" _No," Donna interrupts her soon. "I think it was just meant to be. Romantic too," she adds, sipping from her bottle once more. "That makes the way I met my boyfriend sound super boring."_

 _Samantha laughs, tilts her head to the side and silently asks for an explanation._

" _We're roommates," Donna shrugs._

" _Does he study theatre too?"_

 _The redhead shakes her head. "No, Stephen is actually a law student like you," she explains. "But my apartment building isn't one of those fancy exclusive ones you know."_

" _Like mine."_

" _Ooh," Donna bites down on her lip, plays with the label of her bottle. She swivels over her barstool, not sure what to say._

" _It's not exactly exclusive," Samantha reasons, "it just happens to be mostly law students. Which is both fun and annoying at the same time, to be honest."_

" _Does your girlfriend live there too?"_

" _Dana, no," Samantha answers, "she does study law, but she's a first-year as my baby sister."_

" _I'm not a baby."_

 _Both waitresses' heads turn in the direction of another voice echoing through the room. Donna's eyes roam over the two young women making their way over._

" _Speaking of the devils," Samantha answers with a grin. She pushes herself onto her toes, leaning over the bar when the petite brunette does the same, giving her a quick kiss on the lips._

" _Hey, babe."_

 _Samantha smiles at her girlfriend's greeting, nods at her sister and then turns to Donna again. "I was just talking about the two of you. Donna, this is Dana, my girlfriend. And this is Rachel, my baby sister."_

" _Hi," both girls shake the redhead's hand._

 _It's Rachel who ends up chatting along with her as they finish up. The four of them walking out of the bar about half an hour later. Greetings exchanged once more; it's a joke Rachel makes about her sister that has Donna laugh._

" _You're weird," she tells her. "We'll be friends."_

 _._

 _._

 _November 16th, 2015_

 _She sniffs, eyes cast down, and her forehead leans against the doorframe as her knuckles hit the wooden door once more just below the three brass numbers. She exhales again, patiently waiting for her friend to answer the door, and even though she came here to talk the second the brass 206 moves away from her and the brunette comes into sight, she straightens herself up. A quick wipe over her eyes with the back of her hand, she forces a fake smile on her lips and tells herself she's okay._

 _Rachel knows she isn't though, but she doesn't call the redhead out on it yet. Silently steps aside and holds the door open for Donna to enter the apartment. The look on her friend's face enough for her to suspect the reason it's there, she also knows the redhead won't willingly share the news she did come to talk about. So she fixes her a cup of tea and guides her to the couch._

" _Thanks, Rach," Donna whispers, holding the ceramic mug in both of her hands, she blows over the steaming content and takes a sip. Soaking at the moment, she knows she'll have to explain her presence soon, but she isn't ready for it yet._

 _._

 _Samantha opens the second drawer of her desk, removes the first stack of paper from it and places it in the cardboard box. She thoughtlessly repeats the motion another two times but halts when a picture slips out of the files and darts to the ground. The sight of it startles her, and she stares at it for a moment, eventually bending down to pick it back up._

 _The picture was only taken two months ago; the present couldn't be further from what the piece of paper depicts. Her blue eyes are shining brightly, the grin plastered on Samantha's face a rarity these days and the woman right next to her someone she hasn't spoken to in weeks._

 _Her fingers slip from the bottom edge over Dana's face for the briefest of seconds, reminiscing the past she expels a deep breath. Her eyes close for a moment, and she wills them open again with a renewed determination. She pulls her left hand back then, in full force and she rips the picture in half. Separating the two of them, just like they are in reality. It's not easy, but it's for the best._

 _She tosses both parts in the bin, a metaphorical weight lifting off her shoulders as she does so and she removes the last stack of papers from the drawer, placing that into the cardboard box as well. She lifts it and carries it to the living room._

 _._

 _Harvey rushes his way down the stairs, following in Mike's footsteps until he surpasses the younger man. He stalls at the landing on the second floor, glancing back to see his roommate make his way over to apartment 206 and he rolls his eyes then._

 _His friend has not been the same since he started dating their classmate over the summer break. He misses his wingman, not that he needs it. But the nights the three roommates claimed the bars as theirs are just with Tanner and him now._

" _Have fun with your girlfriend."_

 _Mike rolls his eyes at the sneer, merely brings his hand up to the door and rings the bell. "Have fun with yourself," he counters, making a jack-off motion with his hand._

 _Harvey shakes his head but doesn't comment. Instead, he rounds the landing and continues his way down the stairs to go out._

 _._

" _Paulsen," Samantha quickly greets Donna when she carries another box from her room to the dining room table, placing it next to another._

" _Wheeler?" Her greeting sounds more like a surprise and it sort of it, to the redhead at least. Even though she knew Samantha before Rachel and hung out with her after the blonde quit her job, there hasn't been much contact. Samantha almost always having been out when she came over. She spots the boxes then, a frown settling on her face. "What are you-"_

" _She's moving out," Rachel fills in on her sister's behalf, as she makes her way over to the door. "Dad got Sam a place on the other side of town."_

 _Donna's mouth opens and closes, not sure what to say._

" _It's closer to the firm," Samantha explains, "the travelling back and forth just_

 _took too much time."_

 _Donna nods then, in understanding, but she's still sorry to see her go. "Robert must be happy you'll be working for him."_

 _Samantha chuckles and shakes her head. "I'm working on my master thesis at Bratton and Gould," she answers, shrugging when she notices the redhead frowned. "Rach once had a huge blowout with dad, telling him she wanted to make it on herself first before following into his footsteps, she is right about that."_

 _._

" _Hey."_

" _Mike," she greets her boyfriend with a bright smile, she momentarily contemplates about inviting him in, but she doesn't get the chance to do so when he steps forward and kisses her._

 _She answers his kiss, it's loving but quick, and the palms of her hands find his chest mere seconds later. Gently pushing him away, she creates a little bit of distance between them._

 _His brows knit together and he questions her actions, but before he can ask he overhears the two voices coming from the living room. "Ooh I get it, I can't come in cause Samantha's girlfriend is over."_

 _The brunette chuckles and shakes her head, she grabs his arm then and guides him inside. "Mike, this is my friend Donna," she signals the redhead. "Donna, this is Mike. My boyfriend."_

" _Ooh you're Stephen's girlfriend," he answe_ _rs in a beat, now remembering how the international student had talked about a redhead from time to time._

 _Donna presses her lips together in a thin smile, she doesn't answer but nods nonetheless. She takes his hand then, shaking it once before letting go._

 _Rachel watches the little exchange between the two of them, the look on her friend's face not going unnoticed. It's the same one she saw when she opened the door earlier that afternoon, but this isn't the time to confront the redhead about it. She does, however, slap Mike's arm, a playful way of scolding him for his question._

 _He looks up at his girlfriend and back to the redhead, not entirely sure what was wrong, but he figures it's the way he phrased it. "Only good things, I assure you."_

 _The redhead grins then she likes the way he covered for himself, and any other day she'd have told him that is, of course, the only thing that could be heard about her. Instead, she throws his comment back at him. "That's funny; I only heard bad things about you."_

 _It's Samantha who laughs now, and Rachel merely rolls her eyes as Mike glances back and forth between the two women._

" _She's joking," Rachel fills in, her hand finding his arm again, she walks him back to the door. Pausing there she reels him in for another soft kiss. "Rain check?"_

" _Sure," he answers, pulling her in one last time. "See you tomorrow."_

 _The brunette smiles softly, waits in the door opening until he's out of her sight before she returns to the living room. She drops herself down on the couch next to her friend._

" _You didn't have to send him away because of me, you know."_

 _Rachel wants to protest but doesn't exactly know what to say to that. She shrugs and reaches for her cup of tea, the beverage now lukewarm, but she drinks it anyway. "He'll be fine, probably going out for drinks with Harvey now."_

 _Donna bobs her head to the side, a silent question as she's can't remember having heard that name before. Then again, she had just met Mike for the first time after months of being friends with the brunette._

"Second _-year law student as well," Rachel explains, placing her empty mug back on the coffee table, she shifts over the couch and pulls a leg up, hugging it tightly to her chest. "But, that doesn't matter," she starts. "What does, though, is why you showed up here out of the blue. And that look I saw on your face not once, but twice now."_

 _Donna inhales deeply, glances away and bites down on her lip._

" _It's Stephen, isn't it?"_

 _The redhead nods then, finally turning to look at Rachel again. "We broke up." She catches Rachel's gaze change, thinks she spots a hint of pity, and she shifts over the couch, out of the brunette's reach. Covering up the movement by placing her mug down too. "That's not- that was a week ago, and since then he's been making my life a living hell. Telling me he's going to get me kicked out; I don't know how long I'll be able to live there anymore."_

" _Move in with me."_

" _What?"_

 _The smile Rachel sports shows that she knows the redhead heard her, she repeats it anyway. "Move in with me."_

" _But Samantha -"_

" _I haven't even moved out yet, and you've already replaced me," Samantha mocks her sister when she happens to overhear the last part of the conversation._

" _Samantha, I-" Donna starts, but she stops when the senior holds up her hand._

" _Do it," Samantha encourages her old colleague. "I'll be leaving in two weeks anyway. You need a place to stay, and I need someone to look after her," she finishes bobbing her head to the brunette._

 _Donna turns to look at Rachel. "You don't want to ask Mike?"_

 _She shakes her head. "He lives three floors up, and if things turn out okay well have plenty of time for that later."_

 _Donna chuckles and nods then. "Okay."_

" _Okay."_

 _._

 _._

 _December 21st, 2015_

 _She has been studying for days, even on a Friday evening she's sitting in the library. Anything to be at the top of her class. She sighs, turns another page of her book and goes over the notes again. Highlighting some key points, she makes another three flashcards and decides to call it a night then. The texts from her classmates asking her to come to the bar too enticing at this point._

 _She gathers her stuff, swings the handle of the black leather backpack over her shoulder and makes her way through the rows of books to the centre. It's there when she spots her, the blonde, soon to be an official lawyer, her ex-girlfriend._

 _Samantha Wheeler._

 _She hesitates for a moment, wondering if she should stop by and say hello. They have been amicable to one another after the breakup, the reason for it being timing: the blonde a graduate, the brunette only a second-year._

 _That's also why it hurts so much when she sees the redhead with her. Her hand on Samantha's lower arm, smile too bright and eyes too focused on her ex._

 _She sighs, looks down and decides on another route out of the library, avoiding Samantha Wheeler and Allison Holt in the process. She reaches for her phone then, spots the text once more and wonders if her other ex might be with them — their deal a welcome distraction over the last two months._

 _ **I'll be there soon, leaving the library now. - Dana**_

 _ **.**_

 _She comes back from the bathroom, her gaze automatically searching for the group she had been with the better part of the night. She notices Rachel and Mike getting up and making their way around the group. No doubt to say their goodbyes, she doesn't wait for them to stop by her instead she looks around once more for him._

 _She spots him then, alone, sitting at the bar almost on the far right side. A small smile tugs on her lips at that, she grins at herself and takes a deep breath. It's not one hundred per cent what they once agreed upon, but she recognises the tell from a mile away anyway. She would be lying if she said it hadn't crossed her mind since the moment she arrived._

 _She redirects her gaze once more, glances down at her outfit and adjusts her top just so. She knows what he likes, and she isn't ashamed to use it in her advantage, to get what she needs. Dana rounds the half-wall separating the wardrobe from the rest of the bar, she nods at Rachel and Mike once on her way past them. Then she makes her way to the back of the bar, like many times before._

" _Har-vey."_

 _The sing-song way his name is pronounced familiar, and it snaps him out of his daze. He places his barely touched bottle of beer back on the bar and swivels on his barstool._

 _The flashes of red hair he envisioned disappearing, merely a memory of a moment so short ago it can barely be just that, but they are, and as he turns to face her they make place for a brown curly bob and dark piercing eyes to match._

" _Scottie."_

 _The smile she had been sporting slowly fades away. The severe tone of Harvey's voice tells her tonight isn't like all the times before. She can't help but try, though. Her eyes searching his, she tilts her head and leans forward just enough to make use of the button she popped off her blouse as she slides onto the barstool next to him. Her knee hits his thigh and her left-hand lands next to his on the counter. "What do you say?"_

 _His fingers flex over the wooden surface, his jaw sets and he searches for an answer. Her proposition not uncommon and if it hadn't been for the events earlier that night at the Weihnachtsmarkt, he might have given in. The way his eyes close is a way of his mind to correcting himself. The truth is; he hasn't been the same since the beginning of the month._

 _She takes in his silence and shakes her head, then laughs once to herself. She could have known, and she ticks the glass bottle next to his hand then. "I know this isn't the usual drink but-"_

" _Dana," he sighs, glancing at her once more. "I-"_

 _She can see it in the look on his face but what gives it away is him using her actual name. "What's her name?"_

 _His head bobs up in surprise, and he frowns at her. "What?"_

 _The brunette purses her lips and narrows her gaze in on him. Then she repeats her question. "What's her name?"_

 _Harvey scoffs now, fakes offence and maybe he is. He grabs the bottle of beer now, looking away from her as he takes a big chug._

 _She rolls her eyes in annoyance, moments like these reminding her of why it never worked out between them. Not the first time, definitely not the second, but he now even managed to take the fun out of their arrangement. Sex aside, she does care for him, and she pushes him again. "What's her name?"_

 _The sigh that follows is long, and she knows she's put a dent into whatever mood he was in with her presence. She also realises it was just that, a dent, when she notices the small smile for the third time after the question, only proving her right._

" _I don't know what you're talking -"_

" _That," she interrupts him, pink-painted nail pointing at his face. "That look right there when I asked about her name," she continues, studying his reaction, but the hint of panic in his eyes tells her she has him. "That's how you once looked at me."_

 _He tears his gaze away, for all their differences and arguments over the years she did have the ability to see through him. He lifts the bottle of beer again, downing the remainder in one go, the glass hitting the surface with a soft thud as he pushes himself to stand._

 _He remembers the time they dated back in high school, the numerous of hookups they've had during college since and he knows he's anything but an expert in the field, but Harvey does know he has never looked at her the way he thinks he looks at the redhead that kissed him earlier that night._

 _He doesn't acknowledge her questions with an answer, answers he doesn't dare to think about. Doesn't allow himself to wonder about, but he also doesn't want to hurt her any more than he already has, so instead, he walks away._

 _._

 _._

 _January 8th, 2016_

 _Donna opens up a cabinet, pushes herself to stand on her toes and tries to reach for Brody, the honey bear from the top shelf. Twisting the cap, she pours a little of the golden content in the bowl with the rest of the spices. Mixing the marinade, she whisks the spoon around, before tapping the excess content off._

 _Making dinner for one has never been something she enjoyed doing, and in the month she's lived here this is the first time she has to do so. All others, which were just a handful because of the two week holiday period, spend with Rachel and on occasion Mike, but tonight she is by herself._

 _It isn't the being alone part she finds hard; it's the cooking part because for the many talents she does poses, cooking isn't one of them. That's also why she ended up in the kitchen so late this evening, prepping alone having taken hours and when midnight comes around hunger and tiredness are a challenging combination, but she's stubborn and doesn't go down without a fight._

 _Deep down she knows it's just a matter of time though and when she does indeed reach for the pan, the handle too hot to hold because of the gas stove. It drops as fast from her hand as she reached for it._

" _Fuck." The exclamation loud, but doesn't come with another shriek of pain, she flicks her hand in the air and turns off the gas with her other. She leaves the pan to be, bringing her burnt hand under a lukewarm stream of water._

 _Teeth clenching together as she winces in pain, Donna's tear-filled eyes examine the palm of her hand. It's a bit red, but there are no blisters, and she knows she got off lucky. It still hurts like hell._

 _She twists on her spot, keeping her hand under the stream of water and she reaches for a kitchen towel with the other. Bringing that under the flow as well, she wets the fabric and wrings it out as best as possible after. Closing the tab, she wraps the cold towel around her hand and clips it together with a clothing pin._

 _She lifts the pan at last then, placing it in the empty sink. Half of the ingredients for the dish she was preparing never making it out of the fridge, her appetite gone now._

 _Donna makes a beeline for the bathroom, scouring through the cabinet above the sink for something to put on her burn she comes up empty-handed. She forgoes searching her cabinets , too much still packed in boxes; Donna also knows she doesn't have it. And thus she sneaks into Rachel's room, but she can't find anything there either._

 _Rushing back to the living room, she grabs a cardigan and pulls it over her shoulders. She lifts her keys from the bowl on the cabinet and gets outside. She rushes to the first door on her left, apartment 204. Her hand mid-air when she changes her mind and remembers the odd hour it is, and how she doesn't exactly know her neighbours yet._

 _She pulls her hand back and purses her lips in contemplation, pacing back and forth she ends up near the staircase, she looks up then. Remembering that Mike lives three floors up and Rachel is with him at the moment, if anyone is willing to help her it's them._

 _She begins the climb, hesitating a bit, but when she remembers a picture of the happy couple that hangs on the wall in her living room, she knows it's the right decision — the photograph in question including an Aloe Vera plant in the background._

" _Yes," she whispers to herself, tapping against the railing as she reaches the fourth floor. She's got no clue if the plant is still alive, but she's willing to bet Rachel is the one to water it every week and thus the odds are in her favour._

 _._

 _He pries one eye open at the strange sound, turns around and eyes the clock on his wall. A groan leaving his lips as he pushes the sheets aside and gets himself to stand. Running a hand over his face and through his hair, he tries to suppress a yawn but fails as he makes his way towards the knocking noise._

 _Glancing over his shoulder once, he throws a look to the closed door of Mike's room. It's much closer to the front door of their apartment but the laughter coming from it indicating they didn't hear or didn't care about the intruder. He hopes for Tanner's sake that it isn't his fellow law student's drunk ass in front of the door. An angry "What?!" on the tip of his tongue as he opens the door, he never gets to say it when the red locks come in to view._

" _Alo-." She trips over the words she'd been wanting to say, blurting out the one thing she was looking for and this wasn't that. Her breathing falters, and her eyes skim over the sight in front of her — Harvey merely dressed in a pair of sweatpants. The view surprises her, and she has to shake her head for a moment to gather her thoughts, a greeting eventually leaving her lips._

 _"Hey."_

 _He can't help but notice how his heart skips a beat at her sudden presence; he hadn't seen her since she crushed his hopes a few days back and yet here she was knocking on his door. His eyes roam over her delicate frame, a greeting forgotten when he spots her hand._

" _Let me look at that," his words aren't a question, but it is inquiring in nature, one that gets backed up by a stretched arm and his hand falling around her elbow._

 _It's his touch that surprises her, wakes her from her thoughts, and she pulls back. Remembering what or rather who she was looking for. "I uh- I'm looking for Rachel."_

 _He presses his lips together in a tin line, balls his hand into a fist and nods in understanding. He steps to the side then, signals the door to Mike's room but warns her before she gets two steps inside. "Be my guest, but I'm not sure you want to see whatever it is that's going on in there."_

 _She laughs, shakes her head, and she doesn't want him to be right, but he is. She nods then, turning to face him again and that's when she connects some dots. The way he is dressed, or more like the lack thereof. His comment about the couple's activities, it could only mean one thing. He, himself, was in a similar situation._

" _Ooh," she mutters then, glancing around but not knowing where to look. Her eyes find Harvey's bare chest once more, she glances down at her hand. "I'll manage."_

 _Her words surprise him; they're the opposite of what her presence tells him. "Donna," he hears himself objecting._

 _Her eyes flicker back up to meet his when she hears her name; she hadn't expected him to remember it. Their conversation a few days back unique but brief, and yet it shakes her. "I'm fine, I should go," she reasons then, turning around on her spot, she signals his lack of apparel with her hand. "You probably have a girl waiting in your bed for you to get back to anyway."_

 _He doesn't know what to make of her remark, but he can't help but chuckle at it either. "I don't," he answers truthfully._

" _Right."_

 _He shakes his head at her mocking tone and bites down on his bottom lip to stop himself from smiling, can't place why they're having this conversation after what she told him and yet he feels the need to prove her wrong about his reputation. "I'm serious."_

 _She eyes him suspiciously, head tilting down to the right when she tries to make up her mind. She has heard the stories. "I know your reputation, mister."_

 _And there it was, the words that killed any last chance he hoped he still had. He swallows once, eyes falling shut for the briefest of seconds. Deep down, he knows there's no point and yet he tries to reason with her. "Paulsen."_

" _Specter," she parrots his surname in the same tone as he used on hers. Her eyes locked with his, one look that challenges his words, she finds nothing but the truth in them and yet something inside of her doesn't want to believe it._

 _She catches the sigh that leaves his lips now, she doesn't miss the glance either, and a part of her sees it as an invitation for her to find out. Her rationale telling her it's him checking that whoever is there stays put._

 _It would be smart if she left if she never finds out whether or not he was telling the truth, but there's something about him. The way he acts and talks to her that is so different from how Rachel and all other girls described him to be that makes her move._

 _It is twelve steps from the front door to the one slightly opened bedroom door and with each step, her heartbeat increases. The control freak inside of her is ready to prove him wrong, and she expects Harvey to stop her any second now. But when her left-hand finds the wooden surface and slowly pushes it aside, she feels her stomach flip._

" _Told you."_

 _His voice is soft and so close to her ear that a shiver runs down her spine, making the hairs on her arms stand up. The surprise it comes with makes her take another step forward._

 _He watches her move and grins then at the memory of her own words. His shoulder finds the door frame, and he leans against it, arms crossed in front of his chest. He takes a second before teasing her. "There's a girl in my bedroom now."_

 _She rolls her eyes, and she wills herself not to smile. It's so predictable, and yet, she shakes her head then. Doing that on purpose as she turns to face him cause she doesn't want to show him he amused her._

 _He spots what she's doing but stops her movement by placing his hands on her shoulders. The touch more deliberate this time and he puts a bit of pressure on her frame to guide her to his bed. He notices a hint of hesitation and let's go just before they get there. "Sit down, and let me look at that."_

 _She's not one to follow orders; usually, the one that is bossing everyone around but she does as told. She holds her burned hand in her good one, sits down on the edge of his bed, shifting a little as she takes in her surroundings. A painting catching her eye, she doesn't get to focus on it as she watches him leave and return a few seconds later with a first-aid kit._

 _The box is placed just behind her when he sits down on her right side._

 _He doesn't have to ask to see her hand this time around, her hand already lifted and shifting towards him he turns it gently and holds it in his. His eyes are searching hers as his fingers near the knot she tied into the towel, and only after her nod, does he undo it._

 _She watches him slowly unwrap the towel from her hand and in doing so, undoing all the prejudices she had about him. The man in front of her matching that of the one from her assessment; and suddenly it doesn't surprise her anymore why she told him about that one night from a few weeks back._

 _A soft stroke of his thumb over the back of her hand and the goosebumps that spread over her arm because of it are what wakes her from her thoughts. Her gaze slowly lifts, and she inspects the face of the man next to her._

 _He doesn't look at her, his gaze directed at her hand. She doesn't pay attention to the way he takes care of her burn as her focus is on the look of determination she reads on his face._

 _He removes the cloth he had used to cool her hand, dabbing the damaged surface gently before he reaches for a bandage from the first aid kit behind him._

 _That has her look down again, her gaze fixated on the movement of his hand. Wrapping the bandage around it, once, then twice until he tapes the end down on the part around her wrist._

 _He runs his thumb over the edge of the tape, securing it and the movement is repeated once more. He should say he's done, that this is all but the words don't leave his lips. So instead of telling her to go, or letting go himself, he brings back their earlier conversation._

" _What would you have done if you had walked into someone here?"_

 _His question takes her by surprise and a chuckle escapes her lips as she visualises the situation. She knows deep down he wouldn't have let her pass if that were the case. Another idea crosses her mind then, and she tosses it right back at him._ " _I'd have put up a show," she counters, a smirk spreading across her lips. "Pretend to be the girlfriend you cheated on."_

 _He didn't know what he was expecting, but this wasn't it, and he swallows thickly. He might be a playboy, but that is something he would never do. He makes sure she doesn't see his actual reaction, though. As much as she sparks his interest and as easy as it is to talk to her; this part of him too much to share. Thus he kicks the teasing up a notch, his hand softly squeezing the one that was still placed on his._ " _You sure it would be just for show?"_

 _His touch sends another jolt down her frame, she redirects her gaze as quickly as possible and pulls her hand back then. "I'm sure," she fires back in a beat, and she pushes herself to stand as she speaks._

 _She isn't sure if it was to emphasise her words or because the effect he has on her keeps taking her by surprise, but it's probably both. She nods then, once, at him. A soft smile given with it. "Thank you."_

 _._

 _._

 _January 15th, 2016_

 _Sixpack of beer in hand she climbs the three flights of stairs. Her fingertips play with the cardboard wrapping, it's a shitty gift and that isn't her, but what is she supposed to give a guy she has never met?_

 _She knows his name, she knows he studies law and she knows from stories that everyone in the building is always invited, so it wasn't that weird for Rachel to extend the invitation on behalf of Mike, who did so because of Tanner._

 _She stalls just before the apartment, unlike a week ago the door is open. Music is playing and the party is clearly buzzing. She glances inside, looking for the birthday boy or anyone she might know._

 _Rachel, Dana, Mike, Harvey._

 _If she has to be honest with herself, the doubly extended invitation and a night with her friends isn't the only reason she finds herself stepping into the crowd._

 _A part, a big part, of it is curiosity. If this party truly attracts everyone that lives in the building, it means the one person she had been looking for the past month should be there as well._

 _She steps aside to let a drunk guy pass, another that's running after him, and she dodges a paper cup flying through the air by just an inch. The party is wild, but precisely as expected._

 _._

 _He hums and nods at the brunette in front of him. Pretending to still listen to her story, but the second he had spotted the familiar auburn locks his attention had been elsewhere._

 _His gaze follows her from afar, the way she moves through the crowd. He catches a glance at her face, the look on it telling him she was about to leave again._

" _I'm sorry, Scottie," he cuts off his ex-girlfriend in the middle of her sentence. One hand lifted in the air; he points in a random direction signalling he has to go._

 _._

 _Donna turns around again, a hefty sigh escaping her lips. The apartment crowded to the brim, and yet the only familiar faces she had seen were too busy with one another._

 _She doesn't blame the happy couple, usually is fine on her own and can strike a conversation with anyone. It does, however, sting that even amid every single tenant she still can't find the guy she kissed on the Weihnachtsmarkt. Not one face in the crowd that rings a bell._

" _Don't go."_

 _She jumps a little on her spot, his familiar voice taking her by surprise. She eventually turns to face Harvey, a questioning smile on her face and a silent question asked in the way she bobs her head to the side._

" _You looked like you wanted to leave," he explains, taking another step towards her. He offers her one of the beer bottles he snatched out of the fridge on his way over to her._

 _She glances down from his face to the bottle in his hand, she bites down on her lip and looks back up at him again. "I'm not," she reassures him, accepting the cold glass bottle from his hand._

" _Good."_

 _She sees him grin then; it's nothing like the smiles she has seen before, this one reminding her of a Cheshire Cat. She chuckles softly, lets the neck of her bottle cling against his in a silent toast on the birthday boy — both taking a sip after it. The conversation flows smoothly after that._

 _One drink follows another, and if other people had been dancing,they might have joined them. Instead, the pair found themselves a quieter spot on the couch._

 _It's her who takes over the controller from Harold, challenging Harvey into a battle on the PlayStation. He throws her a line about how he has a better and bigger one nearby. She says he has to beat her first._

 _._

" _I have to go."_

 _His brows knit together and he glances at her, saw her lips move, but the music is too loud now. "What?"_

 _She sees a look of confusion on his face, and she isn't entirely sure is it's sincere or if he's pretending he can't hear her. But the music is loud, and she read his reaction of his lips more than she heard it herself. She moves closer, a hand falling on his shoulder and she pushes herself onto her toes, bringing her face closer to his._

 _He tenses the second her hand finds his frame, her hair tickling his cheek and he can't help it when her lips are close to his ear, his hand finds her waist so quickly._

" _I have to go."_

 _His grip on her increases so fast it's almost a second nature, the gesture made before he can even find the words._

" _Why?"_

 _Her eyes close involuntarily, his breath hot against her neck and his scent overwhelming from this close by. She has to think about his question now, fight her thoughts because even if she wants to, she really can't stay. "I have rehearsal tomorrow morning."_

 _He already knew that, but it's the way her body is pressed against his, the slow way her hand slips from his shoulder to his bicep without letting go, that makes him wonder if she's giving him an opportunity to make her stay._

 _I_

 _t's the look in her eyes when she's face to face with him again that tells him it is, the apologetic smile on her lips, however, confirming and emphasising her words._

 _He bobs his head up and down then, a silent agreement to something that wasn't his to agree on, but he shifts on his place and hooks his arm around hers._

 _He catches her surprised look, grins brightly as he starts to walk. It's only when they're on the landing near the stairs that he explains._ " _Making sure you get home safely."_

 _She feels a blush creep up on her face, but she laughs it off. Head falling back and her loose auburn locks falling in front of her face as she does so. She flashes him a curious look that tells him what they both know. She lives three floors down._

 _He doesn't let go though; they're already halfway down the second flight of stairs now. "I know how much you had to drink tonight and given your record, the chances of you showing up at my door hurt again tonight are big."_

 _His answer catches her by surprise, more than she expected. Even though his response was far from what she thought he would say, suddenly she feels a warmth spreading around her and a part of her wants to ask if he didn't want her to show up at his door then, but she doesn't._

 _So she rolls her eyes, shakes her head and flashes him a smile that even after two weeks had become just for him. "You're ridiculous."_

 _He bites down on his lip, increases the grasp on her arm as they near the landing in front of her apartment. "And you're a safety hazard."_

 _She exhales slowly, turning around as much as his arm around hers allows her to do so and she stalls in front of her door. It just about misses the dangling key from her hand._

" _Har-vey."_

" _Donna," he parrots her name in the same tone, his eyes searching hers and he can't help it, but his gaze slips to her lips and he finds himself licking his own._

 _She catches the way he looks at her and she can't say she isn't tempted. She can't say she isn't drawn to him, cause a part of her is but at the same time she can't place why. If it's her search for the mystery person that's transferring her feelings on to him or if it's more. She tells herself it's the former, Rachel's words not forgotten. It isn't him, and thus she shakes her head._

 _The movement is subtle, almost hesitant but he catches it anyway. He presses his lips together in a thin line and nods, hides the hint of disappointment he feels, but he realises he should have known better. "I know," he tells her, "the rule."_

" _Yeah," she whispers, looking at him one more time before she brings her key to the door. "The rule."_

 _He waits for her to enter her apartment, his gaze fixated on her till the second she is out of his sight. The sound of the door falling shut wakes him from his daze and he exhales then, deeply. Suddenly hyper-aware of the situation, his surroundings, he takes a step back and glances to the stairs. Looking back and forth to make sure no one had seen the interaction and the failure he doesn't consider to be one._

 _The steps are heavier now, going back up alone but he increases the pace with each and every one of them. Rushing his way back to the party, to submerge himself in another atmosphere, another mood. He grabs himself another beer, chucks half of it away in record time and then decides he really doesn't feel like partying anymore._

 _._

 _She lowers herself down from standing on the tip of her toes, pats her hands down the skirt of her dress and purses her lips. Shifting on her spot ever so slightly, she leans against the doorframe and counts the five seconds it will take for him to run into her._

" _Harvey."_

 _He snaps out of his thoughts, his gaze immediately falling on his ex-girlfriend. He bobs his head to the side, lets his brows draw together, and he doesn't even try to hide how he isn't the mood as he forgoes any greeting but goes straight to the point. "It's not going to happen."_

 _Dana chuckles, not because she figures she could change his mind but because it only proves what she expected weeks ago and put together this particular evening. She just hadn't realised she knew the girl all along. Dana shifts her weight to her other leg, crossing her arms in front of her chest. She isn't going to let him pass without getting the truth out of him._

 _"Because of Donna?"_

 _She knows she's got him in the split second his expression changes, it eventually settling in a look that says nothing at all. Much like she predicted it would, he was never the one to truly share his feelings with her, but it's enough for her to understand._

" _I can't blame you, you know," she muses then. "She's hot."_

 _He watches the grin spread over her face, the sparkle in her eyes that comes along with it and he should know better than to fall for her traps, but even if he draws in a breath and tries his best not to comment, words slip out of his mouth regardless._ _"We've never been attracted to the same person, so let's not start now." He has said too much, and he knows it. Silently cursing himself for doing so, and he averts his gaze, bringing the half-full bottle of beer to his lips to down the remainder of alcohol._

 _She didn't expect him to admit it and she bites down on her tongue to stop the grin she feels tugging on the corner of her lips. She knows better than to dive right into his admittance, and thus she pretends to let him off the hook. "Samantha told me differently," she counters, tilting her head to the side. "Quite literally a year ago."_

 _He frowns first, wondering what she is talking about but her words start to ring a bell at the mention of Tanner's last birthday. He rolls his eyes then, shakes his head and gives her a disapproving look. "I thought she was someone else," he explains truthfully._

 _Dana laughs, she knew that too, but it's still fun to make him cower so she merely bobs her head to the side; challenging his answer._

" _You really think I'd hit on your girlfriend in front of your face."_

 _She doesn't miss how the playful tone had made place for a more serious one and she knows his history. Knows this is something he wouldn't ever do and she shakes her head, mouthing an 'I know' in return._

" _What did you even see in her anyway?" His question based on genuine curiosity but mostly a way to divert the topic of their conversation away from him, away from Donna._

 _Dana looks down at the floor, taking a moment to think. Three months ago she would have been able to give him a list of reasons, tonight she, too, wonders what. The hurt from the last couple of weeks still too real and in a way, it reminds her of how things ended between her and Harvey. Her answer therefore based on that._

" _She is kind of like you," she starts, noticing the look on his face she puts him in his place again. "Better of course, but – " Dana stalls, she bites down on her lip. Her emotions overtaking again and she pictures her with Allison again. "She just doesn't need a dick to act like one."_

 _He near chokes on his beer at her answer, needing another sip after a cough to comfort his throat. There are plenty of things crossing his mind but it's the way she looks down again that makes him ask. "What did she do?"_

" _Things ended because she said the timing wasn't right. Too busy with graduating, her internship," she sums up, shrugging again, she hugs her arms to her frame once more. "But I saw her with Allison Holt."_

 _Harvey doesn't know what to say to that. The woman in front of him might be his ex, but he still doesn't like to see her hurt and he finds himself taking a step forward, letting his right arm slide over her shoulder. He envelopes the petite brunette in an embrace. "I am sorry, Scottie."_

 _She sniffs once, her eyes close and she knows the four softly uttered words aren't just about Samantha. They're also about them, their past, the present and the future. She bobs her head ever so slightly, her hand falling against his chest as she moves away again. Her gaze locking with his._

 _He looks at her again, knows she wasn't there for what he wrongly assumed the first time around, but he uses the same words to break the tension again. To step out of the serious conversation they just had._ " _I'm still not taking you up on our old deal."_

 _His words have the desired effect because she laughs genuinely. She nods then with a smile and agrees to his statement. She shifts on her spot and steps to the side, ready to leave him alone, but she can't help but give him one last piece of advice._

" _Harvey."_

 _He turns to look over his shoulder in her direction._

" _Timing may not have been right for Sam and me, but I think it might be right for you and –"_

 _He already shakes his head before she gets to finish her sentence and he's relieved the redhead's name doesn't get pronounced. It doesn't matter though; they both know who the subject of their conversation is anyway. "It's not like that," he tells her. "We're just friends. That's it."_

 _Dana looks at him for a moment, and she knows there's something he isn't telling her. His answer not the full story but she doesn't push him any further, she teases him one last time. "Well, if you don't make a move, I might."_

" _Don't –"_

 _She grins proudly, taps his arm with a flick of her wrist and nods. "Got you."_

 _._

 _._

 _February 13_ _th_ _, 2016_

 _He spots her familiar red hair in the distance and increases his pace until he runs the few yards to catch up with her. Swinging his backpack over his shoulder, he uses the movement to bump into hers. "Hey, neighbour."_

 _She has to take a step to the side to regain her balance, her head tilts to the ride and she playfully slaps his arm to scold him for his actions. But it's his gaze that meets her that makes her forget about it almost immediately. "Hey," she whispers in return then._

" _Big plans for the weekend?"_

 _His question takes her off guard and she frowns in return. Only realising what he's really asking when he signals the weekend bag she's carrying with a bob of his head. "Ooh," she shakes her head. "This. Just on my way back from rehearsal."_

 _He takes in her answer and nods in understanding as they continue their route down to the apartment building. "So no hot date then, okay. Good to know."_

 _She glances at him again, isn't entirely sure what to make of his remark. She's told him about her rule before, but she can't tell if he's serious or if he's just playing with her because of it. Because he knows it's a way to get her attention. "What?"_

 _He signals one of the Valentine's day banners spanning behind the window of a restaurant they pass. "Just figured you'd be one of those girls who celebrates."_

" _One of those girls?" she repeats with a raise of her eyebrows. She cuts him off before he can answer. "I'm not," the words leave her lips so quickly, it's on principle but now that she gives it a minute's thought she realises there hasn't been a single Valentine's day in the past five years that hasn't included some sort of celebration. "Okay, maybe I was."_

" _Was?"_

 _She shrugs, glances at the window display of the stationary shop they pass now. "It's a stupid holiday, I know that." The sigh that follows a little bit too long and too loud to go unnoticed and she realises there's no point in denying the truth. "It's not that I ever cared about the day, but I can't say I haven't been trying to forget about it this year."_

 _He looks at her face through the reflection of the window. "Why?"_

" _It's not about the stupid gifts or – It's just I can't remember a year I didn't – " she pauses, glancing down at her feet. "And tomorrow, well."_

 _He lets her words sink in, thinks about his own track record with the particular holiday and one mandatory card making session in fourth grade he's never done anything about it. "Is that a not so silent hint or?"_

 _Her mouth drops at first, a look thrown his way and she laughs then. She shakes her head but doesn't actually say anything._

" _Okay."_

 _He sounds way too mischievous to her liking. "Harvey," it's one word, his name but a warning this time._

 _He recognises the tone she used in the pronunciation of his name, remembers her using the exact same one the night of Tanner's party. He also remembers how her rule was brought up again that night and he doesn't have to say it this time around cause he knows._

" _I don't do that shit."_

" _Never?"_

" _Never."_

 _._

 _._

 _February 14_ _th_ _, 2016_

 _Never._

 _She can still hear him say it and even though she knew it to be the truth she already didn't believe it fully then. The mischievous glint in his eyes and that signature grin he sported when he said it. She should have known he would do this, and deep down she may even have expected it._

 _And that's why it makes her laugh now._

 _The envelope with her name on it pushed under the door. Shaking her head, she bends down and picks it up. It's his name she mutters twice, in amusement and she all too easily snaps a picture of the envelope. Sending it to him with a quick message. "This made me giggle, thanks."_

 _Phone and card in hand she quietly wanders back to her room, she may know the object in her hand is nothing more than a joke. Running into Rachel or Mike right now would prove to be a challenging explanation and she rather avoids it altogether._

 _Shutting the door behind her, she tosses her phone on her bed and slides her right knee over the duvet until she lets herself fall down. Leaning on her elbows she turns the envelope around in her hands. Opening it at last._

 _She has no clue if he has even written something down in the first place and if so what it would be, but the second she pulls the card from the envelope another chuckle escapes her. The quick message, even without it being signed, being so clearly his._

" _Screw the rules."_

 _She rolls her eyes and bites down on the side of her cheek. She knows he isn't here to witness her reaction but it would have been exactly this. Their banter always playful, toying a line but both aware of the boundaries there._

 _Her smile however fades as quickly as it came when she turns over the card._

 _It isn't a Valentine's day card, doesn't even have a single obnoxious heart on it. In fact it features another holiday altogether. The Merry Christmas greeting crossed off and replaced by a Merry Valentine's Day one in his writing, but her stomach flips at the sight of mistletoe in front of her._

 _She swallows thickly, her eyes close and she blindly places the card back into the envelope. The simple graphic triggering more than she was prepared for, it's hurt she feels now. Because of how hung up she still is on this one moment, how she can't put it out of her mind even though she doesn't know who she kissed._

 _She finds herself wishing the card wasn't from Harvey, but from him._

 _The hurt slowly makes place for anger, not necessarily at her upstairs neighbour but at herself. For telling him, for sharing this secret with him and she decides then that she won't ever bring it up again with Harvey. The search for the mistletoe mystery man something that she has to do and that in no shape, way or form includes him._

 _._

 _._

 _February 25th, 2016_

 _She feels her phone buzz in the pocket of her pants, a grin already spreading over her lips in anticipation of the message as she reaches for her phone. She expects it to be him and one of his ridiculous messages, that come at all hours of the day even at midnight or six in the morning and it would be very him to text her knowing she is busy._

 _ **I'm off to Samantha - have a good weekend and see you on Sunday night. X**_

 _Except the message is from Rachel, a reminder of what she told her this morning already, how she would visit her sister and how the two of them would go to DC for the weekend. She texts back a "have fun" and doesn't think much of it until hours later._

 _Hand going over every pocket, searching all corners of her bag. She even lifts the painting Rachel said they should keep a spare key behind but she was against it and right now she regrets her decision more than anything in the world._

 _She is halfway through writing a message to Rachel when she realises there is no point, the brunette already having left the city by now. She sighs then, letting her head fall against the wooden door._

 _That movement coming with a painful pinch against her head because of the bobby pin in her hair. An idea crosses her mind then, she moves back and pulls the pin out, making her auburn locks fall loosely down her eyes. She blows them away and brings the pin to the lock._

 _He spots her even before he reaches the landing, confusion washes over his face as he studies her every move and he takes his sweet time making his way over to her._

" _You know," he starts, leaning against the wall next to her, "most people would use a key for that."_

 _She rolls her eyes and looks back up at him. "I'm not most people." She sees him purse his lips and wordlessly agrees to her statement, the reaction also an unspoken question. "I forgot my key, Rachel is away for the weekend, so I locked myself out."_

 _He pushes himself onto his feet, dropping his hand and he holds it up just in front of her. "Give me that."_

 _She chuckles at first, studies him then wondering if he's serious but his expression doesn't change and so she does, placing the bobby pin on his palm. "Okay, James Bond."_

" _Move over, pussy Galore," the comeback accompanied by a flick of his wrist against her shoulder._

" _Ooh I'm no pussy Galore," she objects but moves aside anyway, signalling that the floor is al his with her hand._

" _Why not?"_

" _She had a thing for him," she reasons, "and that's not the case here."_

 _He grins proudly, not because he just got put in his place again but because she didn't let him bluff her with his movie knowledge. He squats down and brings the pin to the lock once more, only countering the statement then. "Isn't it?"_

 _She purses her lips and bites down on the side of her cheek, doesn't justify his question with an answer but tells him to hurry up anyway._

" _Fuck," he mutters a minute later, pulling it out again._

" _You didn't break it, did you?"_

" _No," he answers, showing her the bobby pin in his hand._

 _The shake of his head and the sigh that follows enough for her to realise it isn't going to work. "Fuck," she mutters then too because there's no way she's getting into her apartment now._

" _Do you have a window open?" He wonders out loud then, pushing himself to stand again, he hands her back the pin. "We could try and get in using the fire escape, money penny."_

" _Ease up, James Bond." She brings the pin back to her hair, sliding a lock behind her ear. The look on her face already conveying the we're not going to try that message. It's the somewhat disapproving look she gets in return that has her add. "Rachel left for the weekend, nothing is open or unlocked."_

" _Does Mike have a spare?"_

" _What?"_

" _Mike," he repeats. "Doesn't he have a spare key?"_

" _I…" She pauses, thinking about it. "I don't know, but I guess so. Is he home?"_

" _Only one way to find out."_

 _._

 _She shifts over the leather couch, pulling a leg up under her. Her head leaning against her hand that rest on the back of the couch and a yawn escapes her lips then. Eyes closing along with. She jerks her head back up as she snaps awake again, her gaze instantly locking on the time displayed on the microwave in the kitchen. It's almost midnight now_ _._

" _Where the hell is the puppy?"_

 _Harvey turns his head away from the movie they were watching, the second instalment in the Star Trek franchise. The first one he made her watch one night mid-February. "Puppy?"_

" _He reminds me of a golden retriever."_

 _He laughs at the way she delivers her answer, trying to sound all innocent but the shrug she says it with anything but that. "I don't know," he admits then to her previous question, not having heard from Mike since this morning. Texting him not an option as the object lay there right in front of them on the coffee table. "Guess he should be back any minute."_

 _Another ten minutes pass and there's still no sign of the blond, he has however caught the redhead yawn at least a dozen of times and when he catches her eyes falling shut once more he pulls his legs from the table. He shifts ever so slightly, briefly places his hand on her knee to wake her. "Come on, let's get you to bed."_

" _Huh," she whispers, yawning once more as she glances up at him in confusion._

" _You can stay over, I'll sleep on the couch."_

 _She freezes on her spot, needing a second to take in his words and she runs a hand through her hair and over her face to wake herself up again. "I'll sleep on the couch, I'm the idiot that locked herself out."_

" _Donna," her name rolls off of his tongue too easily and he shakes his head. "I'm not letting you sleep on this shitty couch." He motions for her to get up and he's already halfway to his bedroom when she finally gets up as well._

 _He didn't have to say end of discussion for her to understand that it was and she does follow him to the room she set foot in just once before. She watches him reach for a pillow, but she isn't one to give in without a fight and thus she counters. "Let's share it then."_

" _What?" He pauses his movement, holding the extra pillow and sheet he pulled from the cabinet._

 _She signals his bed in the middle of the room, shrugs once. "We're adults; we can share a bed."_

" _What if I sleep naked?"_

 _If she wasn't completely drained his comment would have made sure she was fully awake again, but she can only manage a lazy laugh and a shake of her head. "You don't." She takes a step forward and pulls the pillow from his hand, snatches another from the chair next to her and places them along with one from his bed in the middle of the mattress_ _._

 _He watches her pat the pillows twice, placing another in the middle. "What's this pillow mountain for then?"_

" _Just making sure your fully clothed ass stays on your side." She points at the left side of the bed sitting down on the right end herself, she kicks off her shoes._

 _He doesn't actually bother but it's her confidence that has him highly amused and makes him fire back another statement. "You're on my side though."_

" _You snooze, you lose," she counters pulling both of her legs onto the duvet, pulling the red lace of her dress over her lap once more. She turns to face him. "Do you have a T-shirt I can borrow? I'd hate to ruin this dress."_

 _He hums, makes his way over to the cabinet and pulls out an old NYU baseball team shirt, handing it to her. He retreats to the bathroom and lets her change here._

 _When he returns she has already moved under the covers on her side of the bed, her auburn locks a stark contrast against his wise sheets and practically all he sees peeking out from under them._

 _He tosses his clothes towards the chair, now dressed in solely a pair of sweatpants, he rounds the bed and slides under the covers too. It takes three turns to find a comfortable position and he hears her giggle coming from the other side of the pillow mountain._

" _So I take that's a no on you sleeping naked then."_

 _Anyone else saying stuff like this to her and she'd have freaked out, with him it just makes her grin now. She shakes her head, turns on her side to face him even though she can't see him. "Good night, Harvey."_

 _._

 _._

 _February 26_ _th_ _, 2016_

 _She rolls around, eyes still closed and a warmth spreading over. She is still tired and wills her waking mind to give into the rest of the night, but when she inhales once more and takes in the scent that surrounds her it results in the exact opposite. The sheets smell nice, but it isn't the laundry detergent she uses, they're soft, but not the same as hers and suddenly her heart starts beating faster._

 _Eyes still closed she's awake now anyway, the sudden fear of not knowing where she woke up or with whom she woke up replaced by the exact knowledge of it, but it terrifies her more. Even when it shouldn't. She swallows thickly and pries one eye open._

 _The darkness of her closed eyes replaced by the darkness of the room, one quick glance at the clock tells her it's six past two and suddenly she feels relieved. It's still the middle of the night and even though she knows she won't have a place to stay, she can make it out of here without anyone noticing. Anyone but the man sleeping next to her._

 _Harvey._

 _Her -_

 _Her mind fails to fill it in on autopilot, her friend she settles on at last, because he is. It could be more though she feels that too, just doesn't know which more that would be and a part of her is terrified by his ability to make her question herself. The worst part is that he doesn't even know he does it, thinks it's a game, a joke._

 _One she knows he's mastered over the years in and her rational tells her to not become a part of that._

 _She doesn't look to her right, or her surroundings for that matter. As quietly as possible she lifts the duvet and moves her legs to the side of the bed. Reaching for her dress from the floor, she figures it's safest to get dressed in the living room. To do so here she'd make too much noise and wake him._

 _The red lace fabric pressed in hand against the oversized Harvard t-shirt she was wearing, she tiptoes to the door. Opening it as quickly and softly as possible, it's her own squeal that breaks the silence when the darkness makes place for bright sunlight coming from the opposing windows. Her squeal not triggering one but two pair of blue eyes to turn in her direction._

" _Oh my god." Mike stops dead in his tracks at the sight of his girlfriend's roommate coming out of his own roommate's bedroom, barely dressed._

" _Red," Tanner acknowledges her presence from his position on the couch, a grin spreading over his face as he watched her eyes widen._

" _Shit," she mutters, entangling her own arms in the fabric of the dress as it slips from her grasp and she reaches for it again, simultaneously trying to cover her legs. She stares back at them in shock, eyes almost closed at the sudden brightness._

 _She turns to look over her shoulder, her squeal and the guy's reactions loud enough to have woken him up but she realises then that the warm mass she felt next to her were just the pillows. His side of the bed already abandoned. It was to be expected and yet it bothers her, reaching out, she quickly closes the door._

 _It's Mike who pulls on her arm after having seen the same bump under his covers, but the words that follow make it clear to her that he has come to the wrong conclusion. Or the partially right one, but still not the truth._

" _You're running away after -"_

 _She shakes her head, already tries to deny his words before he even finishes his sentence. "It's not what it seems."_

 _A laugh comes from the couch. "Is he that bad?"_

 _Her mouth drops ever so slightly and she has no clue how to answer that, but Tanner is faster again._ " _Doesn't surprise me one bit, now if you want a real man you know where to find me."_

 _She bobs her head to the side, an unamused look on her face. "Thanks but no thanks," she answers with a fake smile, hoisting up her dress in her arms again, she now lifts the backpack she had left near the couch up too and makes her way to the door._

" _Donna?" Mike calls after her, following close behind her._

" _Nothing happened."_

 _The blond stops the door with his hand when she opens it, his head already tilted to the side by the time she looks at him._

" _Mike," she breathes, trying to stay as calm as possible and the look on her face is enough for her friend to drop his arm and take a step back. "I'm telling you, nothing happened. I forgot my key, Rachel is gone for the weekend. You didn't come back and Harvey offered me a place to crash, that's all."_

 _He nods then, once but withholds another answer. He isn't quite sure if he believes her, because her words are the truth. He knows that, he just isn't sure that whatever it did was, was still nothing, but maybe that's his own disappointment on his roommate's behalf._

 _He does however reach for the bundle of keys hanging next to the door, removing the spare from the clip he hands it over to her without a word._

" _Thank you, Mike."_

 _._

 _Using the edge of the crate to uncap his beer, Tanner takes a sip of the cold beverage as soon as he's able to and he makes his way back down to the couch. Plopping his feet up on the table, he forgoes his books and grabs the PlayStation remote instead._

 _He's halfway beating Germany on FIFA when Harvey makes it through the door past six, and given Donna's rushed escape earlier in the afternoon he decides there's something more fun to do at the moment than play virtual football._

" _How was your afternoon?"_

 _The question such a common pleasantry but out of Tanner's mouth a rarity and it has Harvey taken aback for a moment. He frowns, shrugs once, mumbles a "good" at last._

" _Don't you mean delightful?"_

" _What?"_

" _Ooh come on," Tanner reasons. "You left class in a hurry to get a snack and two hours later I see Donna sneaking out of your bedroom."_

.

 _The buzzing coming off of her phone wakes her from her thoughts and she glances down at the object in front of her on the table._

 _Harvey - 5th Floor._

 _The sight of his name on her screen catches her off guard, and her chest tightens. They have been hanging out for a while, a text here and there but he has never called her and after the night they shared it brings her off her game. When the ringtone goes again, she snaps out of her thoughts and answers the call at last._

" _Hey."_

 _He finds himself smiling at her greeting, the lack of introduction what he expected if he had given her answer a minutes thought. But calling her happened on a whim and thus he forgets to greet her too, diving right into why he called instead._

" _So, Tanner thinks we slept together."_

 _She had no clue why he was calling or what he was going to say but this wasn't it and yet it is so him she can't believe she hadn't realised there would be an aftermath to her interaction with the tennis playing douchebag._

" _Mike does too," she admits then, even though she told the blonde the truth. She knows he too thought they did._

" _Maybe we should."_

 _She laughs then, head moving down and her hair falling forward. He's impossible, never gives up and yet she can't even say she finds it annoying. Might actually enjoy the banter back and forth. A retort is on the tip of her tongue when a knock on the door interrupts her first._

" _Sorry," she answers then, holding the phone between her ear and shoulder, she pushes herself to stand and walks to the hallway. "Have to get the -"_

 _The word door dies on the tip of her tongue when she finds him standing on the other side of it. Shit eating grin spread across his face, phone in hand as he waves._

 _She shakes her head briefly, chuckles and then gives him a serious look. "That's presumptuous."_

 _He merely shrugs._

" _What are you doing here, Harvey?"_

 _He ends the call and puts his phone away, using his other hand to reach inside the pocket of his pants. "I came here to deliver these," he explains pulling out a brown leather keychain holding two keys._

 _Her eyes dart to the two metal objects he's holding up right in front of her. Questioning eyes flashing back and forth between the item and his face, it's another signal of his hand for her to take them that she complies. But she shakes her head as she does so, indicating to him she has no clue what's happening._

 _He presses his lips together in a thin line, trying to hide his grin. Feeling proud of himself for managing to surprise her, he hasn't known her for that long but he knows the ability to do that is once in a lifetime._

" _It's a spare to the building, and a spare to mine," he tells her._

 _She stares at him open-mouthed, glancing down at the two keys in the palm of her hand again._

" _In case you forget yours again… or whatever," the last line delivered with a shrug and a wave of his hand. Trying to downplay any meaning to the gesture at all, he finds himself swallowing then. Suddenly overwhelmed by what he just did for her and looks to the side._

" _Anyway," he mutters then, "I should go."_

 _._

 _She registers his voice somewhere in the distance, it's only when she hears footsteps and feels him move away that she looks back up. Her throat dry and her chest tight._

 _It are her feet moving before her mouth does, croaking out his name and a thank you, but it's her hand on his arm that has him turn around._

" _Thank you," she tells him once more, pushing herself onto her bare toes. She places a kiss on his cheek._

 _The moment her hand found his arm his body tensed and he became hyper-aware of their proximity, yet her lips finding his cheek takes him by surprise._

 _She notices that look when she pulls away again but never actually moving out of his reach, a small smile tugging on her lips when she looks up at him._

 _His eyes lock with hers, the tension between them ever-present but her proximity and her touch are what make his gaze slip to her lips. It's when he watches them slowly part that makes him throw caution to the wind, and he crashes his lips down on hers._

 _The kiss takes her by surprise, but she answers it willingly. The hand that was placed on his bicep automatically caressing up over his arm to his neck, her fingers slipping through his hair the moment he deepens the kiss._

 _His arms wrap around her delicate frame, pulling her closer as his tongue meets hers. The kiss a push and pull, a tug on her bottom lip just before he pulls away from air. She feels his forehead lean against hers, his breath still hot on her lips._

 _Her eyes flicker open and a gasp escapes her as the redhead finds herself seated upright in her bed. Hands falling flat to the duvet, she pats around the surface for a moment but there's nothing but sheets beside her._

 _She exhales deeply, closing and opening her eyes once more, she turns to look at her alarm clock. It's a quarter past four in the morning, and the key Harvey gave her lays right next to it. Taunting her dream, because that's what it was, just a dream._

 _._

 _._

 _February 28_ _th_ _, 2016_

 _Rachel opens the door late that Sunday evening, her carry on back landing right next to the couch. She moves over to the cabinet near the wall and tosses her key into it like she always does. Except for this time the sound that reverberates back from it is different. It shouldn't be of any concern, but she looks anyway._

" _Whose keys are that?"_

 _Donna pokes her head out of the kitchen at the voice of her roommate's, cupping a cup of tea in between her hands. Blowing over the steaming content, she walks back. "Whose what are what?"_

 _The brunette lifts the two keys with the brown leather chain by the metal ring, letting it dangle from her hand._

" _Harvey's."_

" _Something you want to tell me?" Rachel cocks her head to the side, raises an eyebrow as she waits for her friend to elaborate on that answer._

 _Donna chuckles once, a facade for the question the brunette was really asking, the one she read on her face. Because she does know what he's like, but she also knows about his reputation. The fun she has with him and the way she feels at ease meets the first category, her dream in the second and the confusion it has brought her caused her to drop the simple object in a bowl._

 _Out of her sight._

 _Out of mind._

 _It's the shake of her head that has the brunette comment again. "Right."_

" _What?"_

 _Rachel shakes her head, in the same manner Donna did before, shrugging once to indicate it doesn't really matter, but the redhead pushes again._

" _I never told you this, but before the whole mistletoe thing," she pauses for a moment, "I wanted to set the two of you up."_

 _Anything else would be less of a surprise than these words and Donna frowns instantly, repeating them in her head. It doesn't mix with what the brunette had told her before. "But you said he is -"_

" _I know what I said," Rachel answers, and she stands by it because it's true. He is a player. "It's just, I thought, with you, he'd be different." She lifts the key from the bowl again and dangles it once more. "And he is."_

 _Donna draws in a small breath, the words she feels to be true, but it doesn't make it easier. Not when she has her rule and he isn't the one she's been looking for. So she rolls her eyes and shakes her head, pretending it doesn't mean anything. She is emphasising it by explaining what really happened._

" _I locked myself out Thursday," she reasons, "and this was —" she pauses her sentence because it suddenly doesn't make that much sense anymore._

 _Rachel bites down on her bottom lip, noticed the explanation wouldn't make sense even before the redhead started her sentence. She also knows the logical thing to do would be for her roommate to leave Harvey a spare, not the other way around. Or just use the key Mike has. She decides, however not to comment on either of that, just nodding at last._

 _Donna watches her roommate walk away, the lack of rebuttal leaving her more at unease than words could have done and another wave of confusion washes over her. His behaviour, her dream and the combination is everything it cannot be, and it results in another night of dreams._

 _This time it's the very few things she remembers from that night before Christmas, the face she gets to see though, suddenly sporting that Cheshire cat smile she's gotten used too._

 _She wakes up in a sweat again, a groan rolling off of her tongue and she turns around in her bed. Burying her head under her pillow, a sudden headache overtaking her. She feels confused, betrayed even by her mind. The lack of memories and the way her mind is filling them in with things that can't be true._

 _Rachel said as much._

 _He said as much._

 _She knows as much, and yet she can't convince herself anymore that she wants that to be the truth._

 _._

 _._

 _March 5_ _th_ _, 2016_

" _Hey."_

 _She nearly jumps on her spot, a shiver running down her spine when his voice appears behind her out of the blue. She had successfully managed to avoid him since he gave her a spare key, but the more she distanced herself from him in real life, the more he showed up in her subconscious._

 _She exhales deeply, wills herself to calm down and she channels the actress she is before she turns around on her spot. A smile already on her face she thinks she's ready to face him, but the second she spots that shit-eating grin on his, she feels like he knows and the in her mind so carefully crafted response is reduced to the same simple greeting._

" _Hey."_

 _He notices the slightest change in her demeanour, gaze flicking up and down over her frame to take her in. The way she looks down causing concern. "Everything okay?"_

 _She panics but looks at him all the same. "Yeah, sure. I'm fine," she counters, doing her best to sound as such. She realises that the 'why' she adds after that is a mistake the second it has left her lips._

" _Nothing," he answers quickly, not knowing how to explain, why he asked her in the first place and he hears himself rambling on with words as his mind tries to catch up with the conversation. "Just hadn't seen you in a few days, that's all," he adds, now noticing her eyes widen a bit and it unsettles him even more. Eventually pronouncing the words as a joke for he feared them to be truth. "You weren't avoiding me now, were you?"_

" _Avoiding you?" she repeats in a beat, and her breath falters. She had been, but he wasn't supposed to know that and thus she laughs, shakes her head and rolls her eyes. "I wasn't, Harvey," she reassures him, but the words more a reminder to herself. "I just have an audition coming up, and I needed to prepare. That's all."_

 _There's something in her tone that makes him wonder, but he lets it slide. He just smiles at her and tells her he was joking anyway._

 _She purses her lips together, mirrors his nod and then breaks his gaze once more. It is leaving her too confused and on edge, something she can't be if she has to be on stage in an hour. "I should go."_

 _He bobs his head up and down, shuffles on his spot and pushes his hands down the pocket of his pants. The shrug that follows enough to show her he isn't holding her back. He watches her continue her walk, only calling after her when she's three steps away. "Break a leg."_

 _The phrase is common knowledge, yet she didn't expect to hear it from him. She stalls and looks back at him over her shoulder. Eyebrows raised, she silently stares at the law-student._

 _He chuckles, knows why she is giving him that look. "I'm not some savage animal, Donna."_

 _The redhead cocks her head to the side._

 _He rolls his eyes at her dab but explains why he knows the phrasing anyway. "My dad … He is a musician, so –"_

 _She smiles then, genuinely. "Thanks, Harvey."_

 _._

 _._

 _March 8_ _th_ _, 2016_

 _Phone pressed between her ear and shoulder she rummages through her backpack in search for her keys. Hoisting it up on her knee, she tries to listen to the casting director on the other end of the line._

 _Hand tapping against the railing, he takes two steps at a time on his way down. His pace slowing down the second her auburn locks come in his view and he slowly walks down the flight of stairs next. Just watching the clumsy mess she can be as she balances her bag on one leg._

 _He contemplates helping her but he finds the view too amusing to do so. Before he has a chance to take another step he sees the bag drop to the floor. Instead of her cursing, he hears her yell out in excitement._

" _Ooh my god," she exclaims, hands automatically reaching for her phone again and she jumps up and down on her spot. "Yes. Yes, yes. Thank you so much."_

 _Harvey smiles proudly, knows instantly what the news must have been that he just witnessed his friend getting — sauntering down the five final steps he makes his way over to her, stopping next to her. He leans down to collect her bag from the floor._

 _She glances at the man next to him, smile only increasing when she sees his. Her excitement in full swing, she tries her best to listen to the woman on the other end of the line. "Yeah, I'll be there," she answers with a nod, hanging up the phone then. An in-depth, content, breath escapes her._

" _You just made the lead," he vocalises the news she is supposed to tell him. Her reaction and smile having given it away even before her nod now, but he mirrors that in understanding. "Holy shit, Donna, we have to celebrate. Tonight."_

 _She beams, still a bit shaky from the news and Donna almost says yes regardless of all her hesitations when she remembers she is supposed to meet the rest of the cast tonight._

 _"Ooh I am –" she pauses, catching her breath and her thoughts. "I … I have to meet the rest of the cast tonight."_

 _He swallows once, caught off guard by his invitation. Her answer not a complete rejection, and he takes it as a win. "Dinner tomorrow then."_

" _Okay."_

" _Okay," he repeats, holding the bag up in front of her. "Congrats, Donna."_

 _._

 _He walks around the stage, hands behind his back but chest proudly stuck forward, his head held high. Can't believe he made it, or actually, he can. He has known all along he had the skills, just never brave enough to try and there were just so many other things he did in high school. Baton being one of them._

 _He looks around the group again; it is a bunch of unfamiliar faces until he spots her. Red hair framing her face and a smile he remembers seeing before. She'd been talking to Harvey Specter at the time, his nemesis but also the one person he so desperately wanted to call his friend._

 _The first time he saw her, he thought she studied law too, but he was quick to learn she was Rachel's roommate and had gotten to learn the guys through her. He figures then that this might be his chance. If Harvey can be friends with someone who does theatre, he can be friends with him as well._

 _He inhales again, nods at a fellow actor and crosses the stage in three massive strides to the woman he's just learned to be the lead in the play. "I'd say congratulations are in order, but I got a glimpse of your audition; it's not a surprise at all."_

 _The redhead looks up and smiles, almost blushes at the words. "Wow," she mumbles, surprised to hear something like that from a co-star, has had more experience with jealous reactions in the past. "Thank you …" she smiles then, extending her hand._

" _Litt," he answers, accepting her hand in his, he squeezes just a bit too hard and too long. "Louis Litt."_

" _Well Louis," she answers, pulling back her hand and bringing it behind her back, she rocks back and forth on her spot. "I'm Donna Paulsen."_

" _I know."_

" _Ooh." It takes her off guard, someone knowing who she is and marching up to her when she has no clue who the guy in front of her is. And for the first time in her life, the words that come so naturally to her are a strange thing to hear._

" _Can I talk to you for a moment?"_

 _She glances to the right when a new voice interrupts them, her eyes locking with a pair of blue ones. A bright smile to match and apart from just having heard he is the male lead in the rounds they did, she doesn't know him either. The blond makes her feel a little less uncomfortable than Louis, though._

" _Yes, of course," she answers in a beat, pretending she was supposed to talk to him anyway as an excuse to step aside. "Sorry, Louis, I'm —" she doesn't finish her sentence but points over her shoulder as she follows the other guy._

" _You looked like you needed saving."_

 _She chuckles once, shakes her head. "I didn't," she counters, "but I'm glad you did anyway. I'm Donna," she introduces herself to him._

" _I'm Mitchell."_

 _._

 _._

 _March 9_ _th_ _, 2016_

 _It's been years, but she can still sense him entering any room; it's no different in the diner this evening. Something in the air changes and she mindlessly turns to look at the entrance. Her lips curve into a smile as she watches her ex-boyfriend walk through the door, it's one nod in his direction for him to spot her too and it takes a few seconds for him to make his way over to her. "Fancy seeing you here."_

 _He bobs his head to the side, eyes Dana for a moment. "It's the campus diner; everyone comes here."_

" _You never do, Harvey," the brunette fires back in beat. "Yet you are here." The nonchalant way he spoke not matching the way his jaw sets and the way he shuffles on the spot, looking over his shoulder for the second time in as many seconds. "To eat by yourself?"_

 _He draws in a breath, the cat and mouse game fun when they were younger it gets on his nerves just as quickly now. "Who says I'm by myself?"_

 _She wants to chuckle, throw her head to the side and mock him as he's standing there in front of her, alone. But she instantly knows who he means, why he is here and she wastes no time teasing him about it. "Donna."_

 _He opens his mouth, ready to fire back any response but he comes up empty._

 _She watches his hesitation, the way his jaw clenches and the huff that follows, she grins knowingly. "Did you finally ask her on a date?"_

 _He manages to roll his eyes, give her an annoyed look along with it. "It's dinner," he counters then. "Not a date."_

 _Dana chuckles at that. Her ex one of the smartest people she knows yet the man in front of her could be oblivious when he wanted to. It's not her problem anymore, yet she finds herself helping him anyway. "Harvey," her tone is soft, the hand she places on his hand just to get his attention._

" _We might have been seventeen but in the months we've been together, you've asked me out for dinner, exactly… Ooh yeah, zero times," she recalls. "And now you want me to believe this isn't a date."_

 _It's more a statement than a question but he answers regardless. "It's not."_

 _The answer is exactly what she expected him to give her, the tone it got delivered with, to anyone else just sounding like annoyance on her behalf. She knows better though. "It could be."_

 _._

 _The redhead eyes the diner, checks the time on her phone and the last message from him, indicating he would wait for her inside. She inhales once, has no clue what this night will bring or what it is supposed to be or not be. Donnna convinces herself that maybe, just maybe, for one night she shouldn't think about some other guy she can't remember or a rule she has._

 _Perhaps she should just let things fall where they may._

 _She exhales then, deciding that that's what she'll do and she takes a step forward. Hands falling onto the push bar, she enters the establishment and it takes a few seconds for her eyes to adjust to the darkness inside. She blinks once, let's her gaze roam through the area until it lands on the bar._

 _On him._

 _And her._

 _Them._

 _Dana's hand moving from his arm to his neck, the redhead stares for a second and her stomach tightens._

 _._

" _There," the brunette fixes his tie, hand tapping his arm after and she smiles at him. "Now you look ready for your date."_

" _It's not a date."_

" _Well, whatever it is, you better make up your mind cause she just walked in," she counters, bobbing her head to the side to indicate the door._

 _Harvey turns to look over his shoulder, his gaze instantly landing on the redhead and he swallows once taking her in. He's halfway turning around when Scottie calls for him again._

" _Harvey, if by the end of the evening you're still the dumbest person in the room, you know where to find me."_

 _He rolls his eyes, clearly enough for her to notice he's not amused but his mood changes the second he turns around and his gaze lands on the redhead already sitting in the corner booths near the side. He takes a deep breath and makes his way over then._

 _._

 _She fiddles with one of the cardboard coasters, waiting for him to show up as she tries to figure out what this was supposed to mean or if there was even any meaning to give to this. She had so readily agreed she hadn't even thought about how it would be just them, how they'd never gone to a restaurant together before and most importantly, Donna couldn't decide on what she wanted it to be._

" _Hey."_

 _Her stomach flips and the coaster falls from her hand, the movement of her fingers coming to an abrupt halt before she lets her hands drop to rest on the table, she glances up to look at him. Her questions not answered, but her worries forgotten at the sight of his smile, she finds herself smiling back and returning the greeting._

 _He slides down onto the green leather booth next to her, arms landing on the small square table in front of them as well and he signals for a waiter to come by even before he has a chance to say anything else._

 _Harvey looks at her then, taking her in and his breath catches in his throat. He's always thought she was attractive, hell it's what sparked his interest in the first place, but seeing her here now with Scottie's words in mind he smiles at her again. Suddenly aware of his appearance he coughs and brings his hand to the tie around his neck, loosening the knot until it's undone and he pulls the silk fabric from the collar of his dress shirt._

" _Don't," her injection comes too late; the hand that almost landed on his arm falls back to her lap when the tie is removed already. His head turns so he looks at her again. She sees the question in his eyes and she voices her opinion without much thought. "It looked good," she tells him, "you're going to be a real hotshot one day."_

 _His eyebrows raise and the corner of his lips turn up into a big grin. The nerves he might have had gone out of the window when she picks up the banter like old times. He leans forward, ever so slightly, and the hand with the blue tie comes to rest closer to her than before. "Miss Paulsen, are you hitting on me?"_

 _His words a tease, she knows that much and yet they make her stomach drop and her heart skips a beat. Was she? No, maybe. Her breath falters because she definitely was,and he knows. "No," she counters, her voice turning higher than she intended and she finishes it by putting on her best smile, rolling her eyes and giving him a pointed look._

 _He studies her, purses his lips as he does so and a small frown settles between his brows. Something was off, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. "Shame."_

 _Their banter is interrupted by the waiter arriving at their table and taking their orders. A beer for either of them, a cheeseburger for him and pizza with yellow tomatoes for her. The latter results in a curious look on his part, but she merely shrugs and says she likes it._

 _He thinks he likes this, them. Going out, having dinner. A date, but not. He doesn't say it though, only reaches for the cold glass that's brought over by another waiter. Bringing his drink to meet hers, he toasts on her getting the lead role in her play, a reminder to himself of why they were here._

 _She uses the interruption and toast to steer the conversation away from him calling her out on their flirting, sticking with the reason he asked her to come here in the first place._

" _Guess who's in my play?"_

" _You," he counters in a beat and he grins at the way she rolls her eyes. The chuckle that leaves her, making him place his glass back down, he licks his lips as she shakes her head. Oblivious to the way his gaze trails to her lips, expertly diverting them the second she looks at him again._

" _Louis Litt," she enlightens him, leaving him speechless for a near minute._

 _She watches him visibly process the news, tries to keep her gaze on his eyes as his facial expressions change from time to time. It's the way his mouth turns up to the side that makes her look at his lips and she swallows thickly._

" _No way."_

 _She snaps out of her thoughts and reaches for her glass. She is letting her index finger trail over the rim before she lifts it. "Way," she reassures him, nodding now too._

" _I'll have to see that."_

" _Ooh," she scoffs, hand playfully hitting his bicep. "So you're coming to my play to see him and not me."_

" _I -"_

" _One cheeseburger."_

 _He swallows in the rest of his sentence, not even sure how he was going to answer her question anyway. He redirects his attention to the waiter, lifts his hand and pulls his tie to the side to make place for his plate._

 _She reaches for her wallet with her left hand, bringing it to the side she wants to drop it on the booth in between them. Her hand brushes against Harvey's in the motion when he seemed to have the same idea regarding his discarded piece of clothing._

 _She doesn't dare to look at him, quickly brings her hands in front of her to take the pizza from the waiter's tray._

 _It's not like they haven't touched before, but the jolt he felt rushing through him at the briefest of contact now is pathetic and he balls his hand into a fist. Clenching it tightly he presses it down on his knee until it relaxes again. He tells himself to get a grip._

 _Donna tries to distract herself from feelings that shouldn't be about him, but are starting to be, by focussing on what she saw when she walked into the diner. The two law students, Dana and Harvey, the way they interacted and she knows about the history between them. A past she considers to be a possible future as well, so when she speaks once more she convinces herself her words are just about Dana._

" _So I heard someone has a thing for you?"_

 _He glances at her in surprise, swallows once, and his gaze drifts off to the bar in the back of the diner for a second. He remembers the words his ex spoke to him, the ones he so deliberately denied and yet hearing this now sparks his curiosity. When his look returns to the redhead next to him it's become expectant and soon after he grins at her._

" _Is she a redhead otherwise I'm not interested."_

 _She laughs, nervously and his words hit too close to home for her liking, and thus she falls back into a pattern of denial. Something she hasn´t noticed and won´t notice will become her default when it comes to him. So she shakes her head and looks away. The words to follow the truth and in them she hopes to find an explanation; an excuse. "You're my best friend, Harvey."_

 _He swallows upon hearing the words, a rejection woven in them. It's not like it's the first one coming from her and while still in the redhead's presence, it is easily forgotten. Focussing on what he had figured to be the truth before but was voiced for the first time today instead. "Best friend, huh?"_

 _She slaps his chest, playfully, "don't act like you didn't know."_

 _He smirks then, proudly, because he did. "For the record, you're in the top ten too."_

 _She purses her lips and shakes her head once more. "You don't even have ten friends, mister."_

" _Fine," he gives in, "don't act like you didn't know either."_

" _I didn't hear you say it though."_

" _That you're my best friend?" He asks, "because you are."_

 _She smiles again, reaches for her glass and brings it up to meet his in a toast. "To us..." Taking a sip from her drink, she glances up from under her lashes and over the edge of the glass. Her gaze dropping to his lips for a second as he licks a droplet of beer away. The glance merely a second before it locks on his eyes again._

" _Best friends," he fills in and even though she was the one to chicken out. Using the truth to steer away from another, hearing him using her excuse brings a pit to her stomach she didn't foresee._

 _She tries to distract herself by focussing on her food; finishing the first slice of pizza, she is halfway the second when she reaches over the table and steals a fry from his plate and then another. Her smile is only growing more mischievous when his frown deepens and his look becomes a more prominent warning._

" _I thought you didn't want fries," he comments, reaching for one himself._

 _She shrugs, pulls on the edge of her napkin and lifts her slice of pizza again. "Just because I didn't order it, doesn't mean I don't want it," she reasons but takes a bite from her pizza again — eyes closing in a pleased hum when she tastes the yellow tomatoes._

 _The next couple of minutes of their dinner is spent in silence, stolen glances back and forth. Both pretending it's just a staring contest over the fries on his plate. It's Donna's hand reaching over the table when there's only one left, but he's quicker this time around. His hand instantly wrapping around her wrist and stilling the redhead's movement with it._

 _His eyes meet hers and he uses his free hand to take the French fry back, demonstratively eating it as she looks at him in surprise. His grin only spreading further once she starts to shake her head. He only realises he's still holding onto her when the waiter returns to the table and asks if everything is to their liking._

 _They both nod, pull their hands back and sit up straighter. Harvey hands his empty plate over to the man; Donna fidgets with her napkin; dropping it on her plate too when the blond asks her if he can take it as well. Her hand automatically falling around her glass, the other tapping against the rim. She only looks back up when they're left alone again._

 _There's something about her behaviour that has him on edge, and he can't place where it's coming from. The only logical thing something he already knows not to be the case, and she denied before yet he finds himself bringing it back up. "So back to our earlier conversation," he presses after a sip of his drink, his gaze finds hers again, he slides over the leather seating to sit just a tad closer than before._

 _Her breath falters in her throat, making a warmth spread over her, equally enjoyable and terrifying all the same. The latter winning it once more and so, in line with her previous answer, she pronounces a name that isn't hers. "I meant Dana," she clarifies, the flick of her wrist added to it to pretend the news meant nothing to her. "And by the way I see the two of you act -"_

 _His eyes close for a short second, a small shake of his head as he takes in her answer. He tries to wrap his brain around it, but it only results in more confusion. "Scottie?" he inquires._

 _He interrupts her sentence, but it fills in everything she figured already. The nickname he has for the other woman is enough of a confirmation. She nods then, tapping her hands on the table in an unsteady rhythm. It doesn't take long before she pushes herself to stand, grabbing a twenty-dollar bill from her wallet, she tosses it on the table. "I have to go," she excuses herself, bobbing her head to the direction of the bar she glances back at him. "You should ask her out."_

 _His mouth slowly drops, resulting in him speechlessly watching her leave. He turns to look over his shoulder, his gaze following her out of the door and only when the sound of it falling shut echoes through the diner again does he snap out of his thoughts._

 _"What the fuck?" he mutters to himself, shaking his head for a second time. He quickly turns to look out of the window, but when the redhead is nowhere to be seen; he sinks back into the green leather of the booth and his gaze travels back to the bar._

 _Donna lets out a deep sigh, her eyes closing and she curses under her breath. She stops in her tracks then, standing there for a moment wholly frozen and confused. She moves to look back over her shoulder, gaze locking in onto 'Citizen' again and her heart swells._

 _Why couldn't you just give it a go?_

 _It's what she imagines Rachel would say. Deep down she knows her friend would be right and she has no answer for it. Not really, scared not an emotion that's usually common to her but what he does to her terrifies her beyond recognition._

 _She exhales once again, her body winning it over her mind and without a chance to think it over, she makes her way back to the diner. Her paces growing faster with every stride she takes; Donna climbs the small concrete stairs with two steps at the time._

 _His name is on the tip of her tongue when she swings the door open, but she never pronounces it when the first thing she sees is the exact same two people she saw upon entering over an hour ago. Except this time it isn't a simple touch she witnesses; it's a kiss._

 _._

 _Dana pulls back, a gasp escaping her lips and it takes her a moment to wrap her brain about what just happened. She closes her gaping mouth, only for it to drop again. The brunette stares at her ex, they've shared plenty of kisses and more even after their break up. They have a deal after all, but after months of disinterest on his part it's why she can't place this one happing. "Why now?"_

 _He stares at her with a blank expression, words lacking a shrug is all he can muster, but it's enough for her to know. He didn't kiss her because of their deal, or because he wants her. He kissed her because Donna doesn't want him._

 _She doesn't speak but nods in understanding, and when his hand finds her arm she lets him. Because she gets it and he did the same for her. It's the distraction she needed after her break-up with Samantha, and it's what he needs now._

 _._

 _Searching for her key, she wipes the back of her hand under her eye, removing any possible traces of smudged mascara. Her walk back home already challenging enough, she knows that if Rachel gets wind of what happened, there will be even more questions and she isn't ready for that either._

 _Taking one more deep breath, Donna composes herself and enters the apartment. Quietly making her way in, she's halfway to succeeding by making it to her bedroom unnoticed when Rachel's voice echoes through the room. It's a simple greeting, but she has to show her face now, that much she knows._

" _Where were you?"_

 _Donna opens her mouth and pauses almost instantly, but decides it's best just to tell the truth. Her roommate's boyfriend was bound to know anyway, and that means Rachel would eventually know too, making it the best solution to explain her herself._ " _I just went for dinner with Harvey."_

 _The brunette studies her friend, that much she already knew. "Just?"_

" _Just what?" The words leave her lips too soon to take back, and she immediately knows what will be next, cursing herself for it._

" _Is that all it was?" Rachel spells it out this time, she eyes her friend with a newfound curiosity and the redhead doesn't miss the hopeful tone in her voice._

" _What else would it be?"_

 _Rachel shakes her head and glances away, eventually pushing herself up from the couch and walking over to the dining room table and sitting down again. "You know," she starts, "I wanted to set the two of you up. That day of the market, and -" she pauses eyeing her friend again. "I just figured with the way you two hit it off; I wouldn't have to do so anymore."_

 _Donna's breath catches in the back of her throat, her heartbeat increases and she shuffles on her spot. Gaze landing on her own feet and remaining there as she speaks. "I don't like Harvey like that, I -"_

" _Like the guy from the mistletoe kiss," Rachel fills in the sentence for the redhead, shaking her head as she does so and she watches her friend's gaze return to her. She nods then, in acknowledgement of the words she said herself. "I know."_

 _Donna gives her a look that is a combination of "that's my line" and her being unamused._

" _Don," she continues, hand falling to the table. "You don't even know who that is."_

" _So?" She fires back with a shrug. "Isn't that the fun of it? The mystery?"_

 _Rachel shakes her head, drawing her bottom lip between her teeth and she does her best not to comment but her friend would be nothing but brutally honest with her and she decides to give her the same respect. "You keep setting yourself up for failure if you can't forget about this guy."_

 _Donna draws in a breath and exhales through her nose. She knows it's the truth but she won't let her friend get away with it, and thus the argument continues, building a dialogue on a night she can barely remember, but she can't handle reality right now. "Isn't that the thing though, that a guy should make me forget about that event."_

 _There are so many things Rachel wants to counter with; she eventually settles on what she knows to be a simple fact. "Harvey does."_

" _Please." The redhead scoffs, loudly, and more dramatically than the situation called for; only telling the brunette that she is spot on._

 _Rachel bobs her head to the side, studying her roommate and the stiff stance she's taken on. She may not have the specific reading skills the woman in front of her does, but she's picked up on a few things along the way. "Besides the first time you spoke to him," she challenges Donna by recalling a conversation, "has it ever come up?"_

 _Donna looks away, chewing on the side of her cheek. She focuses her attention on a stain on the back of the couch, her thumb running over it now. "That's because I don't want him to know."_

" _Know what?"_

 _How hung up she still is on that kiss? How a part of her wanted it to be him even though she knew it wasn't at all possible. How she cried on her way over tonight because she watched him follow up on the advice that she gave him?_

 _Rachel doesn't wait for an answer; it was a rhetorical question anyway. "That you got drunk?" She recalls, "that you partied too hard? Donna the guy is hardly a saint; he won't care that you can't remember one night from months ago that in no shape way or form involves him."_

 _The brunette takes a second to breathe, her words finally bringing her friends gaze to meet hers again. The look in them something she recognises but misidentifies. "You're not not bringing it up because you're ashamed," Rachel continued. "But because he makes you forget. Which is exactly what you said you wanted, so I don't know what the big deal is here. You two are obviously into each other."_

 _Donna bites down on her tongue at the last words, only a partial truth. Her mind brings her back to the last thing she saw before she waltzed out of the diner again. Harvey kissing Dana._

" _I'm going to walk away now, before you and I can't go back from this."_

" _Don," Rachel calls after her, but it's to no avail, just seeing the red hair of her roommate as she turns around the corner. The slam her door falls shut with tells Rachel the conversation has truly ended and is not to be brought up again any time soon._

 _The redhead lets her head fall back against the door, an unsteady snicker escaping her and she wills herself not to give in to what she can't define. Instead she reaches for her phone, unlocks it and switches to the number she'd only recently gotten._

 _ **Hey Mitchell, how about that drink? - X Donna**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello everyone, remember this fic? I know it's been over a year since I started on what was supposed to be a one-shot, but like most stories, this one has gotten a life on its own. And even now, a year later, it still isn't done. This chapter didn't end where I initially thought it would, but I did want to update one last time this year and to reach over one million words uploaded to this site. Which is super wild to me, but it may be of no interest to you, so I'm leaving it at this. (it's unedited for now, I'll probably go over it tomorrow )**

 **As 2019 is coming to an end, I want to thank everyone for all the support over the years. All the comments on the fics, the likes, the favs. It truly means the world to me, and I promise to slowly but surely continue them all. So I wish you all an excellent turn of the decade and a happy 2020.**

 **Enjoy. and let me know what you think**

 **X - M**

* * *

 **MISTLETOE MYSTERY**

 **CHAPTER V**

* * *

 _June 12_ _th_ _, 2016  
_

 _Eyes directed on the stage in front of him, he stands proudly. Hands clapping like all the others around him are. It's not because Katrina is doing so on his right, or Rachel next to that, that he does. But it's because of the only person that captured his attention for the past hour- her bright red locks making her stand out even more than her fellow castmates and in his opinion, she out-acted them all._

 _He claps again, yells her name when the others around him do the same to other actors. He catches her chuckle, and he grins when Rachel joins in on it. He watches her slowly shake her head, but he knows she's enjoying every second of it._

 _His attention is abruptly interrupted when his phone starts buzzing in the pocket of his jeans, and he has half a mind to ignore it altogether, but it's the vile look Louis gives him that makes him reach for the object anyway._

 _ **Meet me backstage in five.**_

 _Upon reading the text, he instantly frowns, and he stares at the five words on the screen for a moment before he lifts his gaze and directs it on the stage again. Finding the redhead's gaze in a second once more, he wonders how Donna managed to text him when he watched her every move, but he knows better than to question her methods. He also notices the nod she gives him, confirmation of the correspondence and he mirrors the motion._

" _Harvey," it's Katrina's muffled voice and slap of her wrist against his arm that has him look away again. "Stop texting."_

" _It's-" he pauses midsentence, mouth left agape when he realises there's no point in explaining. He bobs his head up and down, locks the screen and demonstratively places the phone back in his pocket._

 _He looks around the crowd now, in search for an exit. The people still cheering and waving around obstructing his view, but he spots a door on the right then._

" _Sorry," he says, hand finding Katrina's shoulder as he moves in the blonde's direction. Stepping in front of her when she moves to the side, he repeats the gesture with Rachel and then Mike; receiving a curious look from all three of them he doesn't explain himself but moves along — sneaking through the door before someone can stop him._

 _It's a fast adjustment once he's on the other side; the room behind the stage is dark, and he pauses as he blinks twice. Trying to figure out his way around the place, it's her voice that helps him._

" _Hey."_

 _He turns to the left, and his gaze finds hers in a beat. His greeting forgone he smiles. Words of how amazing she was on the tip of his tongue, Donna beats him in breaking the silence._

" _Where are my flowers?"_

" _Wha-" He blinks twice but laughs when he sees her grin, and Harvey knows then she's just teasing him. He remembers then a conversation they had three months prior. "Gave them to Louis," he says. "You know I only came here to see him."_

 _She rolls her eyes and slaps his chest._

 _He fakes being hurt, running his hand over his sternum. "Why did you text -"_

" _Donna, honey!"_

 _A voice echoes through the room, it cuts off the pronunciation of his question, but it results in an answer all the same - especially when the redhead sighs and bobs her head to the side. A fake smile gracing her lips and the look she shares with him telling Harvey enough._

" _Hi mom," she mutters now, stepping forward and into the widespread arms of her mother. Accepting the hug, she distances herself again a few seconds later. Presses her lips into a fine line once more and then turns to look at her best friend. "This is -"_

" _You must be Harvey," Clara says, extending her hand to reach for Harvey's. She shakes it before he can even grasp what's happening, but he nods at last when the older woman taps on his hand before letting go. "Are you two ready for dinner?"_

 _He frowns in surprise but knows better than to question one Paulsen woman and with two right in front of him, and he remains silent._

" _Just need to change," Donna answers indicating her outfit with her hand. "Then we are."_

 _Clara smiles and nods in understanding. "Then we'll see you two outside," she states, and she turns around to make her way back to the hall, her daughter walking away in the opposite direction. Both are leaving Harvey right where he was standing, still confused and wondering what he missed._

 _When Donna returns a couple of minutes later he watches her walk towards him, a sly smile gracing her lips and he shakes his head. Having caught up to the situation, he can't believe she tricked him into it but a part of him curious as to why. "So," he starts as he walks her out of the theatre, shoulder brushed against hers as they pass the door. "You can't handle your mom?"_

 _She knows his words are nothing more than a tease, but she counters anyway. "Ooh I can handle my mom," she reassures him. "I just have no interest in meeting stepdad number three."_

 _He looks at her in surprise._

" _She brought this guy here. Anton? Aaron? I don't even know what his name is, but she uhm… She wants me to meet him," she explains. "I mean, we might not always be on the same page and love my mom, it's just… Those dinners are always her and whatever boyfriend being all loved up and then there's me and I - "_

 _He hears her sigh and bites down his lip, taking in her words. His situation is not the same, but he can imagine what it must feel like to experience it. The handful of times he ran into Bobby enough for a lifetime and combined those interactions weren't more than ten minutes. "Needed back up?" he fills in then._

 _She manages a smile, but it's thin-lipped and doesn't reach her eyes._

 _He nods, taking what he can get and decides not to push her further as she would do for him. He chuckles then, a thought crosses his mind, and it's mumbled out there before he can think it over. "Not how I imagined meeting your parents."_

 _Her brows knit together and she turns to look up at him. "You imagined meeting my parents?" Her question just as soft as his admission, but it's there._

 _He tenses for a second, catching his breath as he thinks over an answer that makes sense. That justifies him having said that without saying more, he shrugs then. "We're friends so; I don't know, a birthday party. Your graduation or when I'll be your best man at your wedding."_

 _She laughs then, loudly, and she shakes her head before she gives him a more severe look. "What if I want you to be my bridesmaid?"_

 _He rolls his eyes and averts his gaze, a barely-there 'shut up' filling the space between them._

 _The dinner that follows can only is godawful. From the odd conversations going around, the piece of shrimp Harvey somehow manages to spit in the back of her mother's hair to Aaron who decided to sit in between Harvey and her. Subjecting both of the college students to questions left and right; neither can talk to one another as the happy couple chatted away over the table._

 _And in the midst of all that, things they no doubt will laugh over in the weeks and years to come, the one thing that sticks out the most is when her mother pulls her aside and tells her she needs to hold on to Harvey._

 _An objection is on the tip of her tongue, but her mother tilts her head to the side. Knowing enough, and not needing an explanation but the nod she adds to it only pushing the importance of the earlier statement._

.

.

 _June 21, 2016_

" _Crap."_

 _His voice breaking the silence has her perk up, glancing over she frowns a little as she studies him. His eyes still glued to the phone in hand, she can't decipher where his outburst came from, and thus she asks. "What?"_

" _Marcus is coming."_

 _She turns to look at him fully then, closing her book as she shifts over her seat. "Your brother?"_

 _Harvey hums in agreement, his gaze still locked down, and his fingers continue to type a reply to the message that triggered the conversation._

" _What's he like?" she asks then, she's heard him drop the name a handful of times. Mostly in passing to Mike; to her understanding, the guys all know each other. She, however, doesn't know much about the eighteen-year-old._

" _A dickhead."_

 _She rolls her eyes and shakes her head. "Sounds familiar."_

 _That remark is what gets his attention and he drops his phone on the table, finally looking up to meet her eyes. A playful smirk graces her face, and he presses his lips into a thin line as he shakes his head in disapproval._

" _Why is he coming?"_

" _A baseball game," he answers. "Why are you so interested in my brother?"_

 _She shrugs, she isn't really, but it's a rare occasion that he mentions Marcus, and she does wonder about the relationship they have. "Nothing," she reasons. "You just don't talk about your family often, that's all."_

" _You don't either."_

" _I'm not the topic of this conversation."_

 _He rolls his eyes. "Fine," he mutters. "We're from Boston, Marcus is three years younger, and he lives with my dad. He's a musician."_

 _She bobs her head up and down, remembers him telling about his father way back. She also notices how he doesn't speak of his mother. Never has before but she figures it is for a reason and the library isn't the location to press for answers. Not that she would have gotten the chance if she wanted to as he speaks again._

" _Do you have any siblings I need to know about."_

 _She purses her lips and nods. "One," she says. "A sister, but she's much older," the answer finished with a shrug. "Anyway, enough about me. Aren't you happy to see your brother?"_

 _He shrugs, leaving the answer nor here nor there._

" _He plays baseball too?" she asks next. She knows about his history with the sport, but he still likes to play ball, now and then hitting the batting cages and with a drink too many grand stories always follow._

" _Got him into it." He nods._

 _She shifts over her chair, bobs her head to the right. "Then what's the problem?" she asks with a hushed voice, remembering they're in the public library._

 _He sighs once and glances down at his books on the table. "They're a man short, so he asked me to fill in," he answers, his gaze finding hers again. In them, he finds a follow-up question, but he explains before she gets a chance to speak. "And I haven't been on the field since my shoulder."_

 _She takes in his words, and she knows he's speaking the truth, but she also knows their university's team hasn't played on the varsity level since the seventies and even with an old injury he should be good enough for a friendly match. "Harvey," she whispers, deciding to tell him exactly that. "I know you like to brag but if I know you and I think I do, you never really brag about baseball do I believe it when you said you were about to go pro."_

 _He exhales slowly and keeps his eyes locked with hers._

" _I bet you could still hit a thumbtack with a can opener."_

 _He chuckles at that, her suggestion breaking the tension, and he shakes his head. Adjusting his position on his seat, he shakes his head. "What?"_

" _You get the point," she says._

 _He hums, then smiles._

" _It will be good to reconnect with a sport you loved so much."_

 _He thanks her, reaches for his book and stuffs it in his bag. He signals for her to do the same with a bob of his head, and it's only when they exit the library that he thinks over her words again and he chuckles once more. "Really? A can opener? Where the hell did that come from?"_

 _She snickers over his sudden rehash of their earlier conversation and shrugs at last. "I don't know," she admits with a shake of her head. Not sure where the analogy came from, but she stands by it. "But you could," she assures him. "I'm sure."_

" _I'm sure I can't."_

 _She tilts her head to the side, shooting him a look that tells him she doesn't agree. He does the same - telling her she is wrong without any words; the silent conversation eventually forgotten and not mentioned again._

 _Until it is the day of the game._

 _._

 _._

 _June 25_ _,_ _2016_

" _Yeah, yeah," he groans, running a hand through his damp hair as he trudges through the living room when the banging on the front door continues. "I'm coming," he yells louder then, pausing right in front of the door, and pulling it open in one swift motion. His face is resembling thunder as he expects his brother to stand before him, and it falters the second he lays eyes on her ginger manes. "Donna?"_

" _That would be me yes," she deadpans. "You, however," she signals Harvey with a wave of her hand as she eyes him up and down. "Why aren't you ready yet?"_

 _He groans and pushes the door further open as he turns around to walk back to his room. "I was just …" he starts, but he doesn't finish his sentence as he grabs his sweater and pulls it over his head. "Why are you here? And where – "_

" _Marcus is at the field, and your dad is waiting outside," she fills in for him and then brings her hands from behind her back and shows him the content in them. "And I'm here because of this."_

 _He eyes the can opener and the box of thumbtacks in the palm of her hand, he rolls his eyes next._

" _Do it," she says, extending her hands and urging him to take them._

 _He wants to say no, badly. The entire scenario Donna sketched awaiting disaster to happen, but it's the look on her face that tells him he's not getting out of this without having tried and thus he caves. "Fine," he grumbles, grabbing one of the thumbtacks from the box and the can opener with his other hand._

 _He shoots her one more look, one that tells her he's about to prove her wrong, but he makes the motions all the same. Throwing the red pin in the air with his left hand and making the swing with his right, leaving both of them speechless when the can opener hits the small metal object mid-air and propels to the other side of the room._

" _Ooh my god." Her words barely above a whisper and he could swear he was the one saying it, but he can only laugh. So deep and loud, it feels like it comes from the tip of his toes. So affectionate she laughs too._

" _I told you," she says in between breaths, her hand finding his shoulder for the briefest of seconds but it's enough for him to turn in her direction. She's closer than he expected her to be and his rebuttal follows a second later than it should have come._

" _You didn't believe I could do it either."_

 _He's right, deep down she knows he is, but she isn't willing to admit it so readily or at all for that matter. She shakes her head slightly and tugs on her bottom lip. "Well," she says then, crossing her arms and standing a little taller. "I had faith in you. Have – " she corrects quickly._

 _And with that the playful banter fades into something neither is able or willing to identify, yet know it isn't up for discussion, put aside over so many different occasions one might wonder if it was once there. Still, the palpable tension between them says enough._

" _You're uhm …" she breaks the silence, taking a step back and averts her gaze. She clenches onto the box of thumbtacks, letting her other hand run over the fabric of her dress. "You're running late."_

" _Right. Yeah." He turns around and exhales deeply. Clearing his mind, he quickly grabs the sports bag from the foot of his bed. Swinging the handle over his shoulder, Harvey runs a hand through his hair once more as he searches around the room for his keys. He finds them dangling down from her index finger as he passes her. "Thanks," he says, continuing his path and Donna follows him. "Marcus is?"_

" _At the game, your dad is downstairs."_

 _The small talk does nothing to ease the tension. The five-story trip down shared in silence and a perpetual two-step distance between the two best friends. It's when they push through the door on the ground floor and find themselves in front of a familiar face neither can wait to speak, and they stumble over the greetings at the same time._

 _It's Gordon who takes the lead, stepping forward and greeting his son in a quick hug — asking his oldest if he's ready for the game. The yes that follows sounding more confident than he feels, but he doesn't want his father to worry. He realises then, as the three of them walk towards the park on the other side of the block that he hasn't precisely introduced his best friend yet._

" _Ooh dad, this is – "_

" _Donna, I know," the musician fills in for both of them. Flashing a grin at the redhead he'd met earlier. He teases his son about at least one of them know how to introduce themselves, and he wishes him good luck when Harvey tells the two of them he's going to look for Marcus._

 _Gordon watches his son walk away, turning to face the redhead next to him at last. He smiles at her again, signalling the bleachers on their left with his hand he silently asks his son's friend to join him. "Thank you," he says when he sits down next to her._

 _Donna glances at Gordon over her right shoulder, a frown settling between her brows as she watches the familiar eyes on an older face. "Why?"_

" _For convincing Harvey to play again."_

 _She's taken by surprise by Gordon's answer, not just his ability to guess it but the sincerity she finds in them. She shakes her head slowly. A motion on autopilot because she doesn't want to take the credit; it's his son who chose to play today._

 _He watches the confusion wash over the young girl's face, no doubt wondering how he knew she had any role in Harvey's appearance on the field today. He can practically see the question written in her eyes, but he doesn't have an answer he considers being able to voice. Instead, he merely shrugs, and it's enough to convey the message all the same. "So, Donna," he says then, "tell me more about you. You don't study law, right?"_

 _She grins and shakes her head. It's not uncommon for people to think she does, most of her friends are in that field, but she's always been an odd one out. "Acting," she answers with a bright smile. Her passion for the profession is becoming more apparent with every word she shares about it. "We just wrapped production of The Wild Party. Did you know Harvey came to see me on the closing night?"_

" _Ooh, Queenie," Gordon answers instantly._

 _Donna beams at the recognition. "Did he tell you?"_

 _Gordon chuckles but shakes his head. "I doubt he remembers a single name of the characters," Gordon says, "but I have the record. There are a few different parts for the saxophone in there, so."_

 _The redhead hums. "Ooh yeah, Harvey told me you're a musician."_

" _If he weren't on the field, he´d visit me in the studio," Gordon reveals. "I'm sure he loves the law, but baseball and music. Those were his passions as a kid." He chuckles then to himself as he recalls a particular moment, he catches the redhead's questioning gaze and decides to share._

" _One time, in the middle of a dinner party, he climbed up the piano and started singing."_

" _He –"_

 _Gordon bobs his head up and down. "Yeah. He was six years old, I believe. Complete chaos, the only thing I could do was grab my sax and give him back up."_

 _Donna grins at the image Harvey's father sketches of the six-year-old version of the man she knows, she then thinks of him now. And while he's talked about his dad's music from time to time, always proudly, she's not once heard him sing. "I didn't know he could sing."_

" _He can't," Gordon fires back instantly, making both of them laugh and a comfortable silence falls between them as they watch the young men walk onto the field at the beginning of the game. There are few people to cheer along at the game, but the Specters are represented, and Gordon watches in joy as the redhead beside him shouts his oldest son name when he hits a home run. Gordon joins her then, standing up and cheering too. The last game his son played one he missed because of tours, and he has regretted it ever since he glances at the redhead again. He is smiling to himself once more and silently thanking her yet again for giving him this opportunity._

 _Marcus' team is three points ahead by the eighth inning, and the game is as good as won. The conversation between the young actress and himself flowing smoothly, he's told her plenty of stories about his son. Much to her amusement and he's confident his oldest will complain about it later, but he doesn't care. She's told him about their time in college, their mutual friends and how they met._

 _That's the first thing that has Gordon wonder; it's not that Harvey ever let him in on any details of how they met. He can't help but feel that something doesn't add up, but he can't quite put his finger onto what that should be. He does realise something else, and the chuckle that follows the realisation doesn't go unnoticed to the redhead._

" _What?" she whispers._

 _Gordon shrugs and smiles, taking a moment to find the words. "Nothing," he starts. "I just… I guess people wonder how the two of you get along so well, having such different studies and interests." He pauses for a moment, taking in the questions written on her face. No doubt about his son still being in contact with him all the time, listening to his music._

" _Lily," he pauses when he sees the redhead's brows draw together in confusion and he realises at that moment Harvey's never spoken of her before. "His mother. She's a painter." He stops and smiles. "He might have gone to the studio with me whenever he could, but the truth is I was on tour most days, and it's his mother he used to watch paint for hours upon hours. Doing his homework by her side as she finished another piece. Ever since the divorce, he hasn't – "_

 _Pressing his lips into a thin line, Gordon stops there. Wondering if he hadn't said too much already. "Anyway, I'm … I'm just glad that amid all those boring law douches he bonded with you. That he still has a connection to the arts, even If it's not at home."_

 _She takes a deep breath and smiles, softly, because she doesn't know what to say to that._

 _It's the cheering and yelling coming from the field that has her look ahead again, and she realises then the game has ended. Marcus's team winning thanks to Harvey's efforts, she stands proudly then. Clapping along as she watches her best friend return to the bleachers, this time with his brother in tow. The younger man a spitting image of their father, all three of them possessing the grin she crew so accustomed too in the past year._

 _Congratulations and high fives are shared, and it's Harvey this time around introducing his younger brother to the redhead. Flashing a smile to his father as he does so, Marcus' reaction, however, is different from their father's and because of that, way more telling._

" _So you're the gorgeous girl my brother keeps talking about," the eighteen-year-old counters, shaking Donna's hand as he speaks. Marcus' words result in a wide-eyed look from the subject of his remark, Donna, a pointed look from his brother, and a snicker from his father._

 _Donna opens her mouth and closes it instantly, not sure what to say to that. She does glance at Harvey, giving him a curious look, but she watches him roll his eyes and sigh at his brother's antics._

" _I may have mentioned your existence once," he states at last._

" _A day," Marcus says._

 _She chuckles at that, but she doesn't turn to look at Harvey this time around who tries his best to act normal. Both motions that don't go unnoticed to Gordon who studies them with peaked interest. When his eye catches his oldest son, the twenty-one-year-old shakes his head and looks away. Gordon sighs softly but doesn't comment, suggesting instead the four of them grab a drink to celebrate the win._

 _Marcus is the first one to agree to the celebration, linking his arm with his brother's best friend and stealing her away under the pretence to spend time with the more interesting Specter brother. The redhead merely chuckles as she walks along, but she can't help but tell him his brother has set a very high bar._

 _._

 _._

 _June 30, 2016_

" _You're going to kill it," Donna reassures Rachel as she pulls back from the hug she shared with her roommate. Letting her hands rest on the brunette's shoulders, she squeezes them once and nods, emphasising her earlier statement. She makes sure she's looking her friend in the eye when she speaks again. "Everyone and Bratton and Gould are going to want to hire you and not… What's his -"_

" _Logan."_

 _Donna peeks over her shoulder at the blond. She doesn't miss the look of disgust on Mike's face or the nod she sees shared between the three male roommates. She doesn't know the reason for the exchange, and she doesn't need to details to figure out something once went on between Logan and Rachel._

 _She presses her lips into a thin line and faces the brunette again, giving her a brighter smile this time around. She tells her once more everything will be fine and that she will have the best time during her internship._

" _Thank you," Rachel whispers, pulling her friend in for another hug. "You two, promise me you'll call me when you've arrived."_

" _It's just Connecticut not the other side of the world, Rach," Donna laughs softly. "But I'll call you as soon as I get there and then every day."_

 _Rachel nods and let's go, at last, allowing the redhead to move along the rest of their group of friends. She watches Donna share the same goodbye with her boyfriend. Katrina, Brian and Tanner next. Rachel looks around the group and eyes Harvey at the end of the row. Shares a knowing smile with him, but he doesn't engage._

 _Donna turns around again, now facing him and she stays silent then. Not quite knowing which words to use or what gestures are fitting to say goodbye. Everyone else in the room had gotten a hug, half of them just acquaintances; friends at most. Yet the gesture had come naturally and without hesitation, but he's her best friend, and she freezes._

 _He swallows once, feels the eyes of their friends on them. More pressure added to an already loaded moment; one that marks more than ever how with her things are different. She's his best friend, and yet any gesture that should be the most normal thing in the world feels off-limits when it comes to her._

 _He wouldn't change it for the world, though._

 _Coughing once, he lifts her suitcase in both of his hand. The gesture enough to break the trance and he flashes her a smile when she takes it from him. He ignores the tingling of his fingers when hers brush against his, using words, jokes instead to bring them back to them._

" _You think you got time to call me too?"_

" _Always."_

 _._

 _._

 _August 15, 2016_

 _Dragging his feet, he enters the pub. The day, or week for that matter, was exhausting to him and stepping into a crowded place like this usually would have further fuelled his aggregation. It is the ginger manes he spots at the bar in the back that make it all worth it._

 _He had come here to meet her, snuck out of his house._

 _The situation between Mike and Rachel taking a toll on the four of them and it resulted in him being unable to hang out with his best friend. Mike had demanded he´d pick his side and Rachel had been Donna´s friend long before they even met, but with the separated couple at odds, it meant each had a side to stay on even when they didn´t want to._

 _So here he is, nine p.m. on a Wednesday night in a crowded bar because he couldn't stand it anymore. He missed her even._

 _Pulling on the edge of his sleeve, he runs a hand through his damp hair before taking off the garment and dropping it over the barstool next to the free one on her left. He plops down on it then, signalling the bartender for a refill of whatever she was having plus another._

" _Hey," her greeting sounds tired, and in it, he hears she is just as fed up with the situation as he is. He glances to his right then, his gaze locking with hers at last and he nods, silently acknowledging her. He reaches for the glass of scotch the bartender placed in front of him. A motion she mirrors, and they bring their drinks together in a toast; on what they aren't sure, but at least it's a night away from the drama._

" _He still doesn't want to talk to her?" Donna asks, breaking the silence after a minute._

 _Harvey takes another sip from his drink before he speaks. "No." It's the truth, as hard as it may be and he frowns then, thinking over his answer; Mike's behaviour and just how he'd gotten to know his roommate these last two years. "I mean," he mumbles then, shrugging once and he turns to look at Donna once more. "I don't know; I guess he hasn't forgiven her yet."_

 _She purses her lips and nods; she understands it, she really does, but she can't help but stick up for the brunette too. Convey her message again. "It was a mistake."_

" _She cheated on him."_

" _It didn't mean anything," she repeats the words Rachel had uttered over and over again._

 _He shakes his head, averts his gaze and downs the remainder of his drink. "Still," he says with a sigh, dropping the empty tumbler back on the counter with a loud thud. The motion followed by him pushing himself to his feet._

 _She watches his reaction and swallows; this wasn't supposed to happen. This night wasn't supposed to be about the drama, and yet it only seems to be. About their friends - maybe even so much more, but she can't put her finger on that._

" _Harvey," she all but whispers his name. The ghost of her touch hovering over his arm but she doesn't pull through._

 _He stalls though, the unsettling feeling that started to bottle up in the pit of his stomach subsiding by the pure sound of her voice. He turns to look at Donna again._

 _She managed to find them another refill in those twelve seconds and silently slides a glass in his direction. A peace offering to whatever it was that upset him. She raises it again, keeping her gaze locked on his as she speaks._

" _To being single."_

 _It's a half-hearted joke about the situation. The drama neither of them has to live through directly. "No drama," she adds with a soft smile when he frowns ever so slightly._

" _I don't ever want that."_

 _His words take her by surprise, and she automatically repeats her last words. "No drama?"_

 _He shrugs and shakes his head at first but then nods. There's so much to say; to unpack and Harvey has no clue where or how to start telling her. He surprises Donna and himself when the words do fall out. "My mom… She cheated on my dad."_

 _Her lips part and an inaudible gasp escape her. She thought, had felt even, that something was going on, but hearing confirmation of her suspicions still surprises her. And when it would have come from anyone else, she'd know what to say, but with Harvey, it's different. It's challenging, and she can only mutter his name. "Harvey."_

 _It's softer this time, but it conveys everything he needs to hear, and he sinks back down on the barstool. Gaze locked in on the alcohol he leans on his elbows. Swallowing thickly, he takes a moment before speaking again._

" _I knew it, and she made me keep it a secret."_

 _She watches him, words lacking because she genuinely doesn't know what to say. It wasn't his fault, but she knows deep down he knows that but adding it would be redundant because he wouldn't allow himself to believe it anyway._

 _She exhales deeply, finding solace in the glass of auburn liquid in front of her. The alcohol warming her and she revels in the silence, the unspoken moments for a few seconds. Letting the glass swivel in her hand, she peeks at her best friend again, reminding herself of his earlier words; about him not wanting it._

" _So," she says, already knowing the answer but she can't help but ask. "No relationship for you?"_

 _He shakes his head and lifts the glass to his lips to finish his second glass of scotch. "Never."_

.

.

.

.

.

 _Sunday, December 2nd 2018_

"Hey."

"Hey."

She halts on her spot, breath hitching in the back of her throat. Her eyes scan his face for the briefest of seconds before she looks away, taking a careful step back and increasing the distance between them, but the tension grows along with that.

She doesn't know what to say, where to look, or what to do. Fidgeting, she plays with the hen of her shirt, feet now moving up and down as she rocks back and forth on the spot. She wants to avoid this, him, but she doesn't know how to do that.

It's when she hears his exhale and notices his lips part from the corner of her eye that she speaks — beating him to it but only to keep herself in charge and because she can't find the words, she gives herself an out.

"Going for a run," it is just four words, delivers with a nervous shrug and a mere glance. Donna doesn't wait for Harvey's answer, the awkwardness too much she forces herself out of the way, taking two steps down at one go; she passes him until she's on the street. Her pace is increasing with every step until she runs. Away from him, away from her feelings.

He swallows in whatever it was he was going to say, and he doesn't even know what that would have been. Instead, Harvey turns around on his spot; letting his gaze follow Donna's red manes down the street until she disappears around a corner in the distance.

He sighs then, a shiver running down his spine as the chilly November air brushes past his frame. He runs a hand over his arm, and through his hair next. That's followed by another exhale, and he wonders what it is; what caused her reaction.

If he pushed it too far the previous night?

He fears he might, and his gaze lowers. But Donna played along, his mind tells him then. He breathes again, looks up and down the street, but he doesn't see her anywhere. Another shiver runs down his spine, and he shrugs then, pushing his thoughts aside because, in the end, it was all for show anyway.

.

Her hands fall to her knees, backbend and head low. She exhales once more, hand finding the railing on the landing as she tries to find her balance. She's out of breath, tired from her run but she is still as confused as to when she left, and in spite of the confusion she still feels, Donna feels regret too. For the way she acted towards him, he's still her best friend after all.

Her head tilts to the side, glancing up the staircase. She can't see him, let alone his floor but he's on her mind all the same. She rocks back and forth on her spot, takes two steps forward until her foot hits the first step up.

She stalls then, inhaling profoundly and contemplating her actions. A part of her wants to walk another three flights of stairs and have it out with Harvey; the other part has no clue what to say.

The control freak side of her wins the internal battle; Donna shifts her weight and comes down onto the landing again. It takes another tap of her hand on the balustrade for the redhead to turn around, and she makes her way back to apartment 206.

There is another conversation pending, and this is the one she really can't escape.

 _._

 _._

"Naha," Donna shakes her head, looks away and reaches for the cup of hot chocolate from the table. Hugging the mug with both of her hands, she tests the content with her lips but doesn't take a sip when her eyes catch Rachel's curious ones again. "I'm not answering that."

"Ooh come on," the brunette wines, pulling her leg up onto the couch and shifting so she's sitting right in front of the redhead. "I told you," Rachel reasons, referring to the time Donna asked her, as she likes to name it, the most important emotional question.

"So?" Donna fires back. It's a weak attempt, and she knows it. Drawing her bottom lip between her teeth, Donna racks her brain for a way out of a conversation she had anticipated days ahead. The redhead even knows the answer because of that conversation; and yet, even if telling it would be just acting, it feels too weird to share this particular detail.

"Wouldn't it be weird for you, you hang out with him all the time too."

Rachel thinks about it for a moment, then shakes her head. "Same for you with Mike."

Her mouth drops a little as an instant rebuttal lacks; she remembers the timing then. "You told me before I truly got to know Mike."

The law student bobs her head up and down in agreement, taps her fingers on the back of the couch as she studies her friend's expression. It's not that she needs to know, and the redhead is right. It would be slightly awkward to know about your boyfriend's roommate; Your classmate. But it isn't easy to get Donna worked up, and she likes the tease. "You told me Mark's, though."

Donna glances down at the cup in her hands, drawing in a deep breath she pushes away the memories of her ex. The conversation Rachel is referring to in particular, and she swallows then. "And look where that got us," she reasons, taking a sip of the hot chocolate at last.

"So you're scared of things ending with Harvey if you tell me how big his dick is?"

She nearly chokes on her drink, a couch or two following and a bit of the hot beverage spills over the edge as she does so. Turning around the reaches forward to place the cup aside, bringing her free hand to her mouth, she coughs again as she tries to regain her composure.

"I'm – " She says, pausing right after she starts her sentence and Donna thinks over how to answer the question for a moment then. The answer, in the end, is simple, because ending things with Harvey is the sole reason they started. And she already knows when it will happen - meaning nothing now and nothing then, so she shakes her head. "I'm not scared of thing ending with Harvey."

Rachel squeals for the umpteenth time that afternoon, the smile spreading over her face due to the confidence her friend's answer came with, and she flings her arms around the redhead's frame as she pulls the redhead in for a hug out of happiness. "What do you say we celebrate this by getting out for a drink," she suggests a few seconds later.

Donna moves over the couch, her lower stomach aching as she does so and her face winces in discomfort, but Rachel reads her look for something else.

"I know you want to be with Harvey but just one more girls night, just the two of us."

Donna freezes on her spot for a moment, eyes wide as the words ring in her ears. _Be with Harvey_.

Rachel expects her to want to be with Harvey over her and that thought makes sense, she knows that. It's logical, and it's what's expected for people in a new relationship. She understands it all, and she wishes playing along and just admitting that was easy, but it isn't.

It terrifies her; being with Harvey.

"Ooh come on?" Rachel asks again.

She snaps out of her thoughts then, nodding as fast as she can. Grabbing the opportunity to spend a night with her roommate over him. "Yeah," she adds, getting up, trying her best not to sound too relieved. "That should be fun."

.

"Ooh my god."

Donna glances up from her glass to Rachel, eyes a little bewildered as she searches her friend's expression for an explanation to the sudden outburst. When she fails to find one, she asks. "What?"

Rachel bobs her head to the side, she gives Donna a knowing look and eventually signals up and down between the boxes and her ear, referencing to the song that started to play on the background. "It's your song."

"Wh – " She swallows in the rest of her question as she catches up with the tunes and the story she shared earlier that afternoon. The name of the song just the first thing that came to mind, having heard it on her running playlist that morning. "Ooh," she mutters then, forcing a smile to take over and she chuckles then. "Yes."

"I can't believe Harvey can dance."

Donna laughs genuinely now, shaking her head as she pictures it. She has had the pleasure to witness it. Once. And he is a decent dancer, but he doesn't enjoy it at all. "I couldn't either," she admits, grinning again and she stares at the shot glass in front of her once more.

"You couldn't what?"

The sudden appearance of his voice takes her by surprise, and she freezes on her spot, a shiver running down her spine as she slowly turns to look up at the familiar brown eyes.

"That you could dance to this," Rachel fills in as she motions for the two guys to sit down on the other half of the booth. She greets Mike with a smile as she watches him slide down the booth first; coming to sit in front of Donna.

Mike's eyes widen, and his mouth drops as he takes in the song, gaze flickering up and down between the redhead and his roommate. He looks at Harvey as he speaks. "Can't wait to tell Tanner."

"Okay, Gossip Girl, calm down," Harvey fires back, and he sits down, at last, his gaze automatically finding Donna's and she shifts ever so slightly. She is fighting the unease that settles in the pit of her stomach. She averts her gaze and picks up the tequila in front of her, downing it in one go.

Harvey watches her reaction and swallows once, but keeps quiet out of fear to say the wrong thing. The conversation that follows is mostly between the official couple, the two best friends just stealing glances at one another over time and answering any direct questions, but it does nothing to ease the tension.

Harvey exhales then, can't handle the way Donna is ignoring him anymore and pushes himself to stand then. "Drinks?" He half asks, hale announces, signalling Mike first, Rachel next until his gaze lands on his girlfriend. "Manhattan?"

Donna nods on autopilot when he asks if she wants her favourite drink, it's when she watches him make his way to the bar that the question fully sinks in and that she starts to wonder. _Did he always know that?_

Her pondering is interrupted when Rachel excuses herself, asking her boyfriend to watch her purse as she goes to the bathroom. And even though Rachel directed the question at Mike, Donna nods too.

She turns to look ahead again, facing Mike this time and she gives him a small smile. She's spent plenty of time with him before, but never in the role she is playing now and suddenly being alone with Mike is just as terrifying as being alone with Harvey is.

"I'm happy for you," Mike tells her then.

She knew a comment would come, it was inevitable, and yet it still isn't easy. Lying to their closest friends, but it's what they agreed upon; there's no way back now. She smiles again, brighter this time around and she nods. "Thanks, Mike, I am too," she answers and strangely she almost believes it too.

"More for Harvey though."

That makes her laugh, and she rolls her eyes. Shifting over her seat to the edge of the leather booth, she places both her elbows on the table in between them, and she leans forward. "And why's that?"

"Because he has had a crush on you since the day he saw you move in," Mike answers, revealing something Harvey never explicitly told him but he knows his friend. Mike also knows that if he said it in front of Harvey, he wouldn't live to see another day, but now that they're together he wants her to know.

His confession leaves her speechless and her lips part ever so slightly. "Wh-" Donna mutters as she tries to wrap her brain around what Mike just told her, but she doesn't get to ask the question she wouldn't even have been able to pronounce as Rachel arrives at the table again and takes the seat next to her boyfriend this time. Her hand automatically finding Mike's that's resting on the table, giving it a soft squeeze and she eyes her friend again.

"Can you believe it?" Rachel asks to no one in particular, and Mike grins. "As happy as I am for you, Don, you did cost me twenty bucks now."

That has her find her voice again, eyes scanning her friend with newfound curiosity. "There was a bet?"

The pair nods, but it's Mike who speaks. "I said Thanksgiving," he admits with a wide grin, "she said New Year's."

Donna bites on her tongue and shakes her head. Faking disapproval, but it only justifies the reason behind them doing this if even their roommates believed them to get together. "Unbelievable, you two."

"You just figured that out?" Harvey's voice comes next as he slides a tray with four drinks on the table. He gives her a wide grin, and she bites down on the inside of her cheek to stop herself from mirroring his expression.

"They had a bet," Donna announces as he sits down next to her and his expression changes from smug, to confused to amused at last.

"Whatever you won, you owe me," he announces to Mike, placing the glass of beer in front of him and Donna takes the glass from his hand. Her fingers brush against his as she does so, their eyes meet, and she smiles softly, reassuringly.

Harvey pulls his hand away first, balling it into a fist and bringing it under the table to rest on his thigh, letting it flatten out over his knee. A gesture that should have remained hidden, it doesn't go unnoticed to Donna, and she covers his hand with hers, giving it a soft squeeze as he looks at her. Silently telling him they can do this, they'll be fine. He smiles too then, letting his thumb run over hers, telling her the same thing.

Rachel witnesses the tiny exchange that included no acting at all. "Look at them," Rachel's voice breaks the silence, and that has Donna and Harvey momentarily freak out, automatically creating more distance between them yet wondering if that reaction didn't blow their cover after all.

Rachel's hand finds Mike's again over the table, letting her digits slip between his she gives him a gentle pull on his side to get his attention. When her eyes lock with those of her boyfriend, she speaks. "Shall we go?"

The brunette's question takes Mike off guard and frown settles between his brows as he moves his gaze from her to the other couple and back to his girlfriend. The four of them having a great time, the evening still relatively young he doesn´t immediately understand the reasoning for her suggestion.

Rachel doesn´t wait for his rebuttal, merely bobs her head to the side. Acknowledging their friends with the motion and she gives him a look that tells him she wants to give Donna and Harvey some time to themselves. Flashing a smile at the new couple, she slides over the leather seat and pushes herself to stand.

When Mike still doesn't follow her, she flashes him a more pointed look this time. "We could do that thing you talked about?"

Mike's interest peaks and he too now gets out of the booth. "Sorry, got to go."

Donna bites down on her tongue and shakes her head as she shares a knowing look with Rachel; all the while pretending she is glad the brunette is giving her some private time with her boyfriend. Reality is different though, but the actress in her has her get up too and share her goodbyes.

She sits back down after the two law students have left the establishment. Except, this time it's on the other side of the booth, sitting opposite of Harvey and increasing the distance between them.

Harvey watches her sit down again, the distance between them understandable. It's just them; there's no need to pretend. It's a rule even and yet, he swallows. He misses her closeness, the brush of hands that isn't supposed to mean anything, and yet he yearns for her touch, her warmth, her comfort.

Donna taps her fingers on the table in an irregular rhythm to busy herself; to occupy her hands and her thoughts as she racks her brain on what to say to Harvey — the usually comfortable silence between them beginning to feel loaded as seconds pass.

Harvey watches her motions, the way she avoids his gaze and how his usually chatty best friend can't find any words to fling in his direction. He sighs, lets his gaze hang low and musters up the courage to break the tension. Silently begging for a waiter to show up at their table, and when one does, their reactions are simultaneous. Both are ordering the same two drinks in a beat while avoiding the other.

The waiter looks confused for a second, eventually asking if they both want two drinks or just two drinks in general.

"Two in total," Donna answers, her eyes finding Harvey's for a second and both chuckle at the way they reacted. But as quick as that relieve came, as quick is she to look down at her hands once over.

Harvey swallows away the rest of his smile, and he spots it again, the way she fidgets and avoids his gaze. Typically he wouldn't search for a reason behind her behaviour, the elusive Donna Paulsen too big a mystery for him to figure out or even begin to grasp but this time he has a good idea what it is that has her so worked up. The deal they made, the question he asked her, and he considers it his responsibility to bite the bullet and voice it.

"Do you regret it?" he asks, tilting his head to the side as he watches her lift hers. Her gaze is searching for his, and he motions up and down between the two of them. "Us. This. Agreeing to do this?"

As hard as it is, as terrifying as it is to be alone with him, she can't say that she does and thus she shakes her head. Slowly and almost unnoticeable, but it is there. "No, I do not," she says, "it's just a bit more difficult than my usual roles. That's all."

Her answer makes him wonder what that means, but he doesn´t get a chance to ask her when the waiter returns with their drinks. He pays for both of them, sliding one of the beers in her direction and holding onto the other himself. He raises it then, waiting for her to do the same. "Here's to the first double date we survived."

She laughs at that, letting her glass cling against Harvey's before she takes a sip of the cold brew, revelling in the taste and she lets out a pleased sigh. "Yeah, glad we got that out of the way," she admits.

"How did your reunion with Rachel go?"

"Exactly like I expected it to," she says.

He bobs his head up and down as he thinks it over, remembering the picture she sketched the day before. "So what did you tell her?"

She glances up at him again, sees the glint of curiosity in his eyes, and she knows exactly what he's referring too. She grins then, a little mischievous and she lets him sweat it out for a few seconds before putting him out of his misery. "What we agreed upon."

He nods slowly, but he doesn't dare to ask how many of the details the story included. Instead, Harvey brings the glass of beer to his lips again.

"How did it go with Mike and Tanner?"

"Tanner isn't back yet. And Mike – " he pauses to shrug, tilts his head to the side and his look already tells her everything she needs to know. "He wouldn't shut up about it."

She chuckles lightly, briefly shaking her head at the picture he sketched. It sounds exactly like their friend, and she isn't surprised in the slightest.

He watches her, notices by her absentminded gaze that her mind has drifted off to somewhere and he allows himself to do the same. Thinking about the story they created for themselves, the details they agreed upon and the reaction their friends gave to it. He realises something then. "I'm glad this is the story we came up with."

"What do you mean?" she asks, Harvey's admission surprising her.

"Well," Harvey starts, pausing immediately after as he doesn't know why or what other situation would have fitted and he makes up his mind as he starts speaking again. "I guess you could've told them I tried ridiculous pick-up lines on you or something."

"And let them believe I'd fall for that," she counters with a laugh, and she shakes her head. "But if I'm not mistaken, and I never am, you did exactly that when we met, mister."

He rolls his eyes and hides his grin. Donna might have thought it was pick-up lines; he remembers telling her the truth until he realised she didn't believe him or pretended not to believe him so she wouldn't have to let him down. He swallows then, doesn't allow himself to think of a night that meant everything to him but nothing to her, and he focuses on his drink again. Finishing the remainder in one go, he catches a glimpse of the time on the clock behind the bar.

"Alright, Paulsen," he says then, getting up. "Let's go."

She finishes her drink and gets up as well. She takes the coat Harvey hands over to her from his side of the booth and the redhead thanks him with a small smile.

The walk back home in comfortable silence, one neither of them had managed to feel in the days before; it, however, becoming painfully noticeable when they reach the second floor and stall in front of her door.

Goodbyes have never been a particular thing, this time it's a fake boyfriend looking at his fake girlfriend. Wondering what to say or do before he leaves her be. It's a small smile, a glance down, a near chuckle, and at last, a goodnight before she disappears inside of her apartment. And Harvey makes his way up to the fifth floor contemplating whether or not fake dating his best friend was a good idea.

.

 _Monday, December 3rd, 2018_

Yawning, he runs his hand over his face. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes before his hand moves through his unruly hair. Fixing it just so before Harvey makes his way out of his room; in need for his first coffee of the day that Monday morning.

"Harvey?"

He comes to an instant halt when he hears his name. Still half asleep, he blinks twice and opens his eyes fully then, only to find himself face to face with Rachel. The sight or running into her in the mornings not uncommon over the years, the way she pronounced his name is though, and he frowns for a good second. "Zane," he says then.

"Why are you here?"

"I live here," he counters. His answer delivered so quickly he didn't even get the chance to wonder what resulted in her question.

And exasperated sigh leaves Rachel's lips before she chuckles, shaking her head. "I know that," she says. "It's just… Why aren't you with Donna. You two just getting together, we figured –"

He watches her shrug, and it takes everything in his power not to verbalise a response when it finally clicks. She expected him to have slept at Donna's. "Yeah," he mumbles, couching once to find his voice. "She uhm… she wasn't feeling well, so."

"It's not just sex, Harvey," Rachel calls him out on not being there for her friend. "I know you're not familiar with being in a relationship, but you could also just be there for her. Hold her, take care of her. Especially if she isn't feeling well."

"I know."

Rachel registers a tone in his voice she hadn't heard often, and it dawns on her then, that he wasn't here by his choice. "She told you to go."

It's a conclusion to something that didn't happen, but the brunette hands him an escape, and he willingly takes it. Nodding slowly, but regrettably, for the lie he feeds.

Rachel takes in his reaction, she tries her best to hide her disappointment in her roommate, but she also knows where the redhead is coming from and what she's been through. "Just so you know," she says," she isn't all that familiar with a good relationship either, so don't let her push you away, okay?"

"Okay," he agrees, making his way over to the kitchen at last.

"Ooh, and Harvey," Rachel continues as she turns around to face him again. "If you hurt her, I'll have Samantha kick your ass."

He chuckles at that; appreciates her protective side towards his best friend but considers the inclusion of her sister the funniest even though he's confident the blonde would be able to do precisely that.

"Never," he tells her then.

.

She drops her script at the sudden knocking sound coming from the living room. It's once, twice, three times and any question as to who could be in front of her apartment door has disappeared before she even rolls around and gets up. She flicks on a light in the living room, fixes her robe and crosses the hallway to the door. His name is already on the tip of her tongue as she unlocks the door.

"Harvey."

He flashes her a smile, bobs his head to the side and pushes himself onto his feet. "Donna," he says.

She takes him in as he stands, her gaze fleetingly moving over his form. It eventually lands on his hand and the sports bag in it. In a moment of confusion, her eyes flicker back up to meet his. "What are you doing here?" she asks but stepping to the side all the same.

He swallows once and stands a little straighter as he walks inside. His explanation, not a conversation they can have in public but that doesn't make saying it any easier. "I uhm…" he pauses, dropping the bag on the couch as he turns to face Donna again. "I ran into Rachel this morning."

Donna acknowledges this with a nod. She realises what it implies, it's what they discussed upfront at his father's place, and yet it takes her by surprise. And because it does, her expression doesn't change much.

Something he reads as having to spell out the rest too. He bites down on his lip, exhales profoundly and then crosses his arms in front of his chest. "Rachel uhm… Rachel said she'd stay with Mike tonight to give us some space."

It sinks in then, everything she already knew and predicted upfront. It hits home, and her eyes widen, her lips pressed together in a slight nod and she finds herself nodding as she struggles to find an answer. The only word that leaves her lips being "fuck".

"Yeah," he agrees before offering to take the couch.

She tells him that isn't necessary and that they could just as easily share her bed. He considers her suggestion. On the one hand, it would result in a better night's sleep, on the other side, it would be crossing a line they agreed upon, and while it might be easy for her to do so and forget about it next, he rather not risk it at all.

"It's just us, so …"

She watches him shrug, an apologetic smile gracing his face as he lifts the throw blanket from the back of the couch and rearranges some of the pillows. It's then that she remembers the contract they both signed; that she made him sign. More than one rule broken already, his family knows. A holiday spend with them, a sleepover happened as well before the fake dating even started. One could argue that that means the rules technically weren't broken, but with him showing up at her doorstep like this means number eight has become void too.

It's only for the best if they uphold number two: We only pretend to be together when others are around.

"Right," she whispers as she rocks back and forth on her feet. Stealing a glance down at the floor, she takes a deep breath and then silently signals her bedroom with a flick of her wrist. "Goodnight, Harvey."

"Goodnight, Donna."

.

 _Tuesday, December 4th, 2018_

He turns over a page in hit notebook, going over his notes once more. Tapping against the paper with his pen when he reaches a critical section, he adds a star next to it. The paragraph is not sticking out yet he thinks over his options, spotting a highlighter in her hand from the corner of his eye. He shifts a little and steals the hot pink marker.

"Hey," she mutters, giving him a look, and he merely smiles, uses it to outline the three sentences and hand it back over to her. Donna takes it back and immediately returns to her reading; Harvey, on the other hand, watches her for a moment. The way she studies, pen flicking between her fingers and her bottom lip drawn between her teeth as she goes over a passage. The way she wordlessly mouths the script, and he chuckles to himself.

Katrina looks up then, her gaze drifting over to the redhead and Harvey next to her. Her stare a moment too long, as her gaze meets Harvey's. She smiles and nods, then averts her gaze again to her book.

Harvey swallows, the interaction nothing out of the ordinary and yet he wonders if she knows. They didn't explicitly tell everyone in their circle, but it wasn't a secret either. Harvey realises that since the news of Donna and him being a couple has reached Mike and Rachel, everyone at the table is likely to know by now.

Mike, Rachel, Katrina, Brian, Dana, Harold and Louis.

 _Good._ Harvey thinks, letting his gaze roam over the group again. In particular, the two couples sitting side by side and he studies their behaviour - the closeness between the pairs, the stolen touches and the whispers. Both couples have been together for over a year, and he wonders if one is even able to compare, and yet he wonders if their behaviour is sufficient or if they're giving it away.

He shifts on his seat, pulling the chair a little to the right with his feet as he does so, and he drops his right arm to the back of her chair. This gesture makes Donna look up at him for a moment, and he smiles but doesn't say anything. Instead, he pretends to focus on his work again.

Donna frowns and keeps her gaze on him for a moment. She studies him for a moment and then leans to her left, bringing her lips close to his ear. Her voice is hushed as she speaks. "Everything okay?"

He bobs his head up and down, angles his face to the right. The limited distance between them becoming even closer, his gaze locks with hers for a moment before he moves to whisper in her ear. "Yeah, they're falling for it."

She laughs softly and shakes her head. Donna glances to the table again, the couples sitting there and a brought back memory gives her an idea. Leaning forward, she places her hand on his shoulder, her lips even closer to his ear this time around. "Follow me," she says.

Harvey freezes on his spot, eyes darting over her face after her command. He watches her get up, the movement bringing her body close to his face and he leans back just enough to stare up at her. He drops the arm that still rested on her chair and let her pass, feeling her right-hand link with his as she moves and he blindly follows her.

The whispers that erupt at the table behind them don't go unnoticed, and he's pretty certain that's what it was for. It more or less confirmed when Donna's hand drops from his the second they're out the grand study hall, he can't help but ask where they're going.

She flashes him a smile, raises her shoulders and drops them again in a beat. She didn't have a plan, just a gesture to fire up the rumour mill in their favour. "Let's grab a coffee," Donna decides then, motioning to the stairs on their left.

He orders both of them a black coffee with two sugars and a splash of vanilla, and they enjoy the hot beverage in silence. Warming her hands on the paper cup, Donna watches people pass, and she swivels the last drop around before downing it. Donna waits for Harvey to finish his coffee too before she outstretches her hand, taking his empty cup from him and walking both of theirs to the bin.

When she returns to the bench they'd been sitting on; she stops right in front of him. Hands resting on her hips, she watches him for a moment, and when an idea hits her, a chuckle rolls off of her tongue. "Come here."

She watches him look up in confusion, but when he doesn't lean in, she takes another step in his direction. Bringing her hands to his hair, she slides one through his perfectly styled do to mess it up before he gets a chance to process what happens or protest to it.

She repeats the motion with her other hand, and as she does so, he tilts his head backwards, his gaze finding hers and for a second, they stare at each other. She's the one to snap out of it first, taking a step back and she checks the clock on the wall above the coffee bar.

"It's been five minutes, we can go back now," she reasons, flashing him a cheeky grin before starting to make her way back to the stairs.

"Really?" he calls after her, now having caught up with the message she was trying to convey. He pushes himself to stand and sprints after her.

"People talk, Harvey," she counters, reaching for his shirt as she walks next to him. She pulls on the fabric, one half slipping out of his pants and she undoes a top button.

 _That was once._

He thinks it but doesn't say it. The redhead's smile already too smug for his liking and he's not giving her any more ammunition to throw back at him later. For all he knows she's making it up at the spot, _god,_ he hopes she is.

Instead, he tilts his head to the side and gives her mere look that says she's unbelievable.

She rolls her eyes and ignores his silent protest, walking ahead of him and waiting until the last possible second to mess up her hair just enough to notice for those paying attention. She tells him to grin, and he does as told, too scared to blow their cover now. Harvey rounds the table in the opposite direction as she does and he sits down on his spot - he rests his arm on the backrest once more when she's seated.

They stay there for another hour before Donna excuses herself, needing to get ready for rehearsal. She packs up her bag and places her hand on his shoulder, she squeezes once and smiles softly. A wordless goodbye as she lifts her coat from her chair and swings her bag pack over her shoulder.

"Wait," he mumbles. "I'll walk with you," he says, and he watches Donna nod in acknowledgement. Packing up his belongings, he watches her stroll ahead to the exit, struggling with her coat as she does so. He zips up his back and gets up to put on his own, failing to close it himself now when he catches Dana halt the redhead.

Slider in hand, zipper half-way up he stands there frozen on the spot as he watches the scene unfold in front of him. He can't hear what the girls talk about, but he does notice the reaction washing over the redhead's face. The smile she was sporting first fading slowly, and her expression is turning into one of surprise. He gulps once, scraping his throat right after. He doesn't know what Scottie told his girlfriend, but he has a clue as to what it might be.

Snapping out of it then, he fixes his coat and swings his bag over his shoulder. Making his way over to Donna, at last, he remains silent until both of them have exited the building. Harvey bites on his bottom lip and he thinks over the best way to approach the subject, to ask for what was said; without saying too much himself.

"Hey, uhm…"

Donna looks over her shoulder at Harvey, watching him cough once. The way he looks down as he brushes his hand over his chin, he seems nervous, and it catches her attention. Studying him for a moment, she waits for him to continue — something he does without making eye contact.

"Did she say something about – "

She remembers Dana telling her she was glad Harvey finally saw what everyone else saw, but she doesn't think much of it. The meaning or how it Dana said it, this was why they were doing it in the first place. "About what?"

He curses himself at her genuine curiosity, wishing he hadn't brought up the subject at all Harvey also knows there's no way he's getting out of it now. She'll pry and ask him, or someone else will spill the beans, he knows Mike is just as likely to do so.

"About uhm…" he pauses, and he presses his lips into a thin line. Flashing his fake girlfriend a goofy smile and he shrugs. All ways to downplay words he really wishes didn't hold that much meaning or were still true to this day. "The crush I uhm.. I had on you."

"You had a crush on me?" she whispers, still taken by surprise even though their first interactions were him coming onto her. He never denied that, but hearing him phrase it like this isn't something she ever imagined hearing.

"Yeah, but that was a long time ago," Harvey says, running his right hand over the back of his head. He looks ahead again. "So you don't have to worry about that affecting this."

She shakes her head, trying to wrap her brain around what he was telling her. She wasn't worried about it, hadn't even had the time to process it, to even possibly start to worry about it.

He peeks to his left, seeing her still process the news. He feels the need to emphasise it once more. "It's over." The words a lie and a truth at the same time, because it isn't just a crush anymore. Maybe never has been; what she means to him more than a five-letter word. That much he's willing to admit to himself.

"Okay," she says then, responding at last.

He bobs his head up and down at their silent agreement. On one hand glad she isn't pressing the subject any further; on the other hand, her easy dismissal of the issue stings all the same. He can't show that though, showing her his signature Spectre grin before repeating her last word.

"Okay."

.

 _Wednesday, December 5th, 2018_

Balancing three pizza boxes from Giannos in one hand, she tries to reach for her ringing phone from the pocket of her coat as she climbs the stairs. Pausing on the landing to answer the call, she lets out a soft sigh when she sees her mother's face on the callers' ID.

"Hey, mom."

"Hello, honey," Clara's voice comes from the other end of the line. "Is this a good time?"

Donna presses her phone between her ear and her shoulder, holding the boxes again with both hands as she continues her ascend to the third floor. It isn't uncommon for Donna to talk to her mother in front of her friends, but with the act she's performing with Harvey, she doesn't feel like talking to Clara now. "Actually mom," she says. "I was just on my way to –"

"Harvey," Clara fills in for her.

"Mom," her objection comes in a soft sigh, as Donna recognises that tone in her mother's voice.

"I understand, you don't want to say anything yet."

Donna closes her eyes, wills herself to take a deep breath and not let this conversation escalate. "Mom," she tries again. "It's not –" the redhead pauses then, not getting the words out yet not willing to lie to her mother either. She doesn't finish her sentence.

"Okay, honey," Clara says, "just tell me when you're ready. Say hello to Harvey for me."

Donna stalls on the landing of the fourth floor, deciding to round up the call here before reaching his apartment. "I will," she promises, shuffling the boxes to one hand again to end the call and she places her phone on top of the pizzas before finishing the last flight of stairs.

"There you are," Mike calls out when he spots her red hair appearing from his spot on the hallway. "Thought you'd gone to Italy to get them."

She sighs, loudly, this time around and she tilts her head to the side. The look she gives the blond enough to let him know he isn't funny. Pushing the four boxes in his hands, she grabs her phone from on top of them and walks ahead into the apartment, plopping down next to Harvey on the couch.

"Hey, you," he greets her, turning his upper body just so that he's facing her. His smile slowly fades when he notices her restricted reply. The absent look on her face and the eager with which she accepts the pizza when Mike divides the three boxes.

He nods at his roommate when he gets his pepperoni, folding the box open he lets his right ankle lean on his left knee and drops the box down on his lap before taking out the first slice. The first bite always too hot, he uses the moment where he catches his breath to study her again. The way she grabs a slice of her yellow tomato covered pizza, the big bite she takes and the satisfying hum that always follows. He figures then her absent reaction must have been because of her hunger.

By the time the three of them have finished their pizza's, Mike is getting ready to visit his grandmother; he realises it isn't because she still hasn't said a word. He tries to ignore it, at least for now. Focussing on the TV show that was playing in the background and chugging down the remainder of his beer and he waits for Mike to leave to speak up finally.

"You're acting weird."

The truth hits hard, and she freezes on her spot. She knows she hasn't been acting herself, the deal they agreed upon and what it truly means they have to endure catching up with her. It's Harvey admitting to a crush. Something she brushed off right away again, but she had an entire day to think about it, her roommate giving them space so they can spend the night together. It's Dana telling her she's happy for them and then she remembered what Mike told her. And to top it all of it's her mother now thinking something is going on as well.

She shakes her head, physically refuting his words. "No, I'm not."

He sighs and leans forward to place his empty beer bottle on the table. "Yes, you are," he says, "and you said you wouldn't."

Donna draws her bottom lip between her teeth, glances down at her hands folded down on her lap and then sits up straight again. She doesn't apologise, but her eyes say she's sorry all the same. "I know I just uhm… " she says, "I thought maybe it's weird for you."

He thinks about their deal and how it isn't exactly easy to watch every single thing he says or does in front of others, but he doesn't tell her that. It was his idea, after all. "It's not," he says to her, pushing himself up to stand. He walks over to the fridge to grab both of them another drink.

"Look," he says then, sitting down on the back of the couch as she looks up at him. "I wanted to sleep with you, okay. It wasn't feelings or anything. Just thought you were hot."

Feeling a slight blush creep up on her cheeks, she laughs then, shaking her head as she does so. "Okay," she whispers. Him coming on to her, trying to get her to sleep with him, she knew, that she can deal with. She glances up at him once over. "When did that change then?"

He tilts his head to the side and gives her a look of disapproval. "You don't need to fish for compliments," he reasons as he gets back up to round the couch and take his former seat. "You know you're hot."

It wasn't what she was asking, not really, but she takes it. "That's smoking hot for you, Harvey."

He laughs, and she does too, the drinks they have in their hands meeting one another in the air in a silent toast. On their deal, on them. Things are finally feeling like they had always been; normal. Like they agreed they'd remain after a month.

Tanner chuckles to himself, having overheard the redhead's last comeback he slams the door closed behind him, and he walks through the hallway to the shared living room. "Look at that," he announces himself, signalling Donna on the couch next to his roommate. "Started to wonder if dick face over here was making it all up."

"Travis," Harvey grumbly greets his friend, shaking his head at the comment.

"Not everyone has imaginary girlfriends, Travis," Donna fires back, and her comeback results in a laugh from Harvey.

Tanner rolls his eyes and passes by them, doesn't know how she knows about a comment he once made when he was twelve, but he knows she's Donna and isn't to be messed with. So he ignores this particular comment. "At least I touch the girls I'm seeing," he states his observation and motions the distance between them before he walks off to drop his sports bag into his room.

"Fuck," she mouths.

"He knows," Harvey whispers back.

She shakes her head, doesn't believe that to be the case. Just a lucky observation of a moment shared between them, but she isn't willing to give up right now. Not when their entire friend circle has just found out. Not when she's supposed to be the actress and thus she takes a deep breath and shifts over the couch, hitting his arm with a flick of her wrist. He instantly moves his arm to the backrest, creating a space for her to sit.

Donna moves further then, pushing her centre of gravity to the other side, she flips her legs to the right and lets her shoulder meet his chest. It takes moving around three times for them to sit comfortably on the still broken couch. And more so feel comfortable, but eventually, she melts into his side. Her head is resting against his chest as his arm loosely drapes over her back.

"Any pizza left?" Tanner asks when he returns, a bottle of beer in hand he plops down on the armchair. He forgoes, waiting for an answer, pulling all the boxes over the coffee table in his direction and going through them.

.

Yawning and stretching his arms, Tanner lifts his legs from the coffee table. He ignores the ending of the movie they've all seen a couple of times before; Tanner opts for an early night in instead. Collecting the trash from the table, he looks over at his two friends cuddled up on the couch. Both are silently watching the screen; Tanner doesn't miss the content smiles and the way his roommate slowly twirls a strand a red hair around his fingers. A strange sight to behold after watching them dance around something for years.

"Keep it down a bit tonight, will you?"

Donna nearly jumps up at that, her lips parting but it's Harvey who holds her back as he gets up too. "Ooh shut up," he throws back before she can, physically throwing her over his shoulder and carrying her to his bedroom. Both are keeping up with the act and making sure she doesn't blow it by responding to his roommate, Harvey mumbles an apology and tells her he'll sleep on the floor. Pushing the door closed behind him, he places her down and reminds her of what the building is like when she shoots him a questioning look.

It dawns on her then, and her lips slowly part as she goes over it again. "So …" she whispers then, "they would hear it if…"

Harvey nods. "We usually make sure the others aren't there but yeah."

"Right. So he's expecting to …" Donna pauses, finishing the rest of her sentence by pointing at her ear.

"No," Harvey lies, "not necessarily. I…"

"I know your reputation mister," she answers in a beat, a little too harsh if she has to say so herself. It isn't his fault the acoustics of the apartment are that bad, nor is it his fault that Tanner made this specific comment. He's just the only one she can have it out with.

She sees him wanting to respond, also knows the exact rebuttal that's to come. They know each other and their history too well for him not to. But before he can even open his mouth, she cuts him off. "Don't even start that sentence," she mutters.

She turns around, paces back and forth and then coming to a halt in the corner of his room. She spins once more, facing him again. "We'll have to fake it."

"What?"

"Having sex," she deadpans as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

His breath falters, and he shakes his head as he drops to sit down on the edge of his bed. "Donna."

She mirrors his motion, sliding a knee over the duvet and laying down next to him like they've done a million times before. "You heard him, he already doesn't believe it," she reasons. "If we don't," she doesn't finish that thought, focusing on her idea again. "It would just be sound."

"Sounds?" he repeats.

She bobs her head up and down in agreement. "Yeah, you know. Like in When Harry met Sally." She giggles then, louder than they had been talking before and she says his name next. Voice more horse than usual and he turns to look at her wide-eyed, she flicks his arm with her hand. She is urging him to participate.

"Don… na," he stumbles over her name like never before, and for all his experience, he has absolutely no idea what he's doing in this exact moment. A sentiment that's being emphasised by the look she gives him.

"A. C. T," she mouths once more, pushing herself onto her knees, she crawls over his bed to reach for a pillow. She fakes a moan and flings the object against his shoulder.

"Auh," he reacts on instant even though getting hit by the pillow didn't hurt at all. He changes the sound into something that should resemble a groan when she gives him another look, and he just stares at her dumbfounded.

"Really?" she whispers now, shaking her head, and she laughs again then. Loud enough for Tanner to hear, she uses the pillow to hit him once more.

"Fuck," he growls now, turning around and reaching for the other head pillow from his bed. Copying her and swinging it at her frame, resulting in another round of giggles when he misses her.

"Har…vey, ooh god," she calls out his name in between breaths as she jumps on her feet. Positioning herself on one end of the bed, pillow in her hand to wait for his next attack and what started as a way to act it turns into a wild pillow fight.

The noises that are echoing through the room becoming more natural and genuine sounding the longer the fight continues. It's the ruffling of the sheets, the groans, the name-calling and the sound the shuffling of his bed makes as they jump around; all mixed with laughter. It's Donna who calls out his name once more before surrendering and dropping down on the duvet amid a giggling fit.

He grins broadly, drops to his knees and then lets himself fall on his back next to her. Inhaling deeply, he tries to catch his breath. Exhausted from one of the most innocent activities that have ever happened in his room, he laughs again as he turns to look at her. Neither of them being able to stop laughing.

"I.. " she chuckles again, shaking her head in disbelief. It might have been her suggestion but him acting along wasn't a given. "I can't believe we did this."

"Well," he breathes, bringing one hand up and under his head. "We're also dating so, yeah."

She laughs again, throwing her head back as she does so and she thinks over everything they've done in these past days to get their message across. As weird as some parts were, she still had fun. After a moment of silence, she turns to face him again, a grin plastered on her lips. One that fades away as she yawns and she speaks after. "You can still sleep on the ground, though."

"Really, after the best night of your life?" he says, but he pushes himself back up to sit anyway.

She slaps his pillow against his back once more. "Ooh, I don't know about that," she teases him.

"You came twice."

"I was doing you a favour."

"Right." He rolls his eyes, shifting over the bed to the edge. He stops when she calls out his name, and he looks back at her over his shoulder.

She runs her hand over the spot he'd just rested, tapping against it twice and she pulls the duvet back for him. The smile she gives him enough for him to know she isn't holding him to the promise he made before.

She tells herself it's the right thing to do. It's what they always did, minus the acting session upfront but they promised each other to remain the same, and she's never let Harvey sleep on the ground before. Not even weeks after she'd just met him and she's not going to let him do so now.

In case someone walks in.

It's what they agreed upon.

.

 _Thursday, December 6th, 2018_

And she's glad they did, glad she didn't cave to her second-guessing but kept up the act and let him sleep right next to her when she wakes to the sound of Mike's voice coming from the other side of the room — calling out for his roommate.

"Harvey," she whispers sleepily, placing her hand on his shoulder, shaking it ever so slightly as she tries to rouse him. "Harvey," she says again, just a tad louder this time around when the knocking starts.

"Yeah."

His answer is louder than she expected it to be, and when she hears the doorknob turn, she panics. Shifting the duvet, she moves. Her mind still half asleep it doesn't allow her to think twice as she throws her leg over his frame, a hand falling onto his chest as she has to find her balance. Her face just hovering above his when his eyes finally open, in the exact moment his bedroom door swings open and Mike's silhouette appears in the opening.

"Ooh shit," Mike mutters, taking in the view in front of him. It was just a glimpse, and it's not like either half of the couple hasn't walked in on Rachel and him before but seeing the redhead straddle his friend is enough for him to turn around and pull the door shut after him again.

Tanner snorts at Mike's reaction. "What did you expect."

"I – " Mike says, shrugging cause he isn't certain. As happy as he is for his friends, he hasn't grown accustomed to the new situation yet. "I'm sorry, Donna," he yells then to the closed door, turning around.

"Hey," Harvey calls out then, hearing himself being left out in the equation. He catches her eye soon after, both finally fully awake and she snickers, just like he cracks up at the situation. Harvey exhales again, slower this time, letting his gaze find hers once over.

"Hey," he repeats, softer this time. Just to her, three letters to wish Donna a good morning.

"Hey," she says then too with a soft smile. She lets her hands walk back over Harvey's chest and using the motion to create a little bit more distance between them. Moving back and sitting down at last.

His eyes widen when she does.

A gasp escapes her when she feels it.

A second passes and then as quickly as possible, Donna rolls off of Harvey again, distancing herself from him as much as the bed allows. Harvey does the same thing by moving into a sitting position. Both not facing the other, the silence enhancing a tension neither wants there to be, and they both pronounce the other's name at the same moment.

"Sorry."

It's followed by silence once more until she snickers so softly he doesn't hear it, but she decides it's best to use a joke to ease the awkwardness between them. "I didn't know you had an XS Max."

He can't help but roll his eyes at her comment. It isn't the standard pick up line, but it tells him enough, and it's just characteristically her to include the largest iPhone in her remark. Hidden praise, but he doesn't allow his mind to dwell on that.

"It –"

"It's the morning," she fills in for him.

"Yeah."

"I had biology in high school too, Harvey," she says with a shrug. Telling herself it's no big deal, and it shouldn't be. It's biology; indeed, it probably happened before when they slept side by side and yet a part of her, a small piece of her, is a tad jealous it's just that.

Biology.


	6. Chapter 6

**First of all, thank you so much to everyone for the support on this fic, it means the world. Updating has taken forever and I'm shifting from my original plan of where to cut off chapters.. same with this one, and I'll probably continue it by posting whenever I feel like it's sort of enough. So the parts will not be as long as they usually are (at least this time) but I do hope this is worth the wait. Also, there's an M rated part in here, so consider yourself warned.**

 **I hope you enjoy the update, and please let me know what you think.**

 **X - M**

* * *

 **MISTLETOE MYSTERY**

 **CHAPTER VI**

Donna swings her legs over the edge of the bed. Leaning forward to lift her shirt from the ground, she gets up at last, and it's only then that she turns back to face him. "We uhm… should get up."

"Yeah," he agrees, getting into motion himself too.

She collects another piece of clothing, moving to the door "I'm gonna take a shower if that's okay."

"Of course," he says, stretching his arms and yawning once. He walks through his room, eventually coming to a halt right behind Donna.

She flashes him a smile. "I'll uhm… let you take care of that," she nods and glances down for a second before reaching for the doorknob. "Think of uhm… I don't know. Tomatoes."

"You're ridiculous." He sidesteps her, reaching for the door and opening it for her as he tells her where the shower is. She smiles again, tells him she knows, and he says he'll use the bathroom after her.

"Or you could save us all some time and get in there together?" Tanner counters, ticking on an imaginary clock on his wrist. "Some of us have places to be, you know."

"Uhm …"

Harvey feels not only Tanner's but now also Mike's gaze drift over to them. It doesn't take Albert Einstein to realise his roommates are wondering where their hesitation comes from and thus if everything is okay between the two of them. He swallows, inhales profoundly, and he merely looks at the redhead awaiting her decision

Feeling driven into a corner once more, the only thing she can think of is not blowing their cover. And like on stage, the show must always go on. Always.

"Right," she agrees, flashing the two guys a bright smile. She grabs onto Harvey's shirt, a gentle pull on the fabric enough to make him follow her. She pushes him into the bathroom first but stalls in the door opening herself. "Might take longer now," she tells Tanner then, before entering the room too and closing the door behind her and locking it.

Holding his tongue, he stares at her wide-eyed, waiting for her to face him again before he speaks in a hushed voice. "Now what?"

It's the million-dollar question, and she has absolutely no idea, but she isn't about to tell him that. Not after he made her promise not to act weird, she pulls on the tie in her hair and lets her manes slip from the ponytail, before reaching into the shower and turning on the hot tab.

"Donna," he presses a little louder now that the falling water is creating somewhat of a barrier and when she pulls his NYU shirt over her head, leaving her in just a cotton bra he doesn't know where to look.

"I'm taking a shower," she says again, now slipping the boxer shorts she borrowed down her legs, and she steps into the shower with her underwear still on. Letting the water run over her face, she moves to the open door again. "Unless you stick your head under the sink, you need to get in here and shower for them to believe this charade that may I remind you, was your idea."

He groans and curses himself for even suggesting this charade in the first place. Any other girl asking him to hop into the shower with her, he wouldn't have hesitated. But with her, it's always been different. "Donna."

"You've seen me in a bikini before, Harvey. Just pretend we're at the beach."

 _Pretend we're at the beach,_ he repeats the words in his mind, and he wills himself to get a grip. It was indeed his idea, it's just acting, and if Donna can so easily slip into the necessary actions, he should be able to do so too.

He exhales and makes up his mind then, pulling his shirt over his head too and dropping his sweatpants to the floor. Harvey steps into the shower in nothing but his boxer briefs and lets the water hit his frame as he stands next to her. He tilts his head back and revels in the water streaming down his frame, running a hand over his face and through his hair before he turns around to face the wall.

He reaches for his body wash, flicking the bottle open and squirting a dot of the content in the palm of his hand. Holding the bottle in front of her, he waits for Donna to turn over her hand, and he repeats the motion. Both are silently massaging their arms; he watches her struggling to reach over her shoulders.

"Do you need help?"

Even under the warm water, she feels a shiver run down her spine at his question. "Harvey." His name leaves her lips; it's barely above a whisper.

He gulps, chastises himself for the suggestion, for pushing a boundary yet again, but then he remembers this was her idea and the words she used to convince him. "Pretend it's sunscreen," he says. "We're at the beach, right?"

"Right," she parrots in a beat, without fully getting the chance to think over her answer. "Yeah, sure," she adds as quickly as possible, her body on high alert though. Anticipating his upcoming touch because she's afraid to give away she was second-guessing all of this. Donna's frame still freezes when his fingertips ghost over her shoulder, grabbing her hair to move it to the side. The shiver that runs down her spine, sketching the path his hand follows as he massages the shower gel into her skin.

He circles his hand over her back, almost tracing the freckles scattered over her shoulder blades. His hand moving lower with each circular motion, he lets it hover above the back of her bra for a brief moment before he makes his thumb slide down her ribs and brings his hand ever so slightly to the side. He stops his movement just above her hips, not trusting himself to touch her any lower.

She holds her breath as his hands lift from her skin, one finger after the other. Each motion causes her to close her eyes and swallow. When his hand brushes past the side of her neck to move her hair back, she feels the sensation settle in the pit of her stomach.

"Thank you," she croaks out, trying to find her voice. She reaches for the bottle of shampoo on the side, taking a step forward. It's just an inch; all the small shower allows for her to move. Donna's breath hitches in the back of her throat once again when Harvey's arm sneaks around her and steals the bottle from her grasp.

"Harvey."

He opens the bottle and squirts some of the content in the palm of his hand. He gives Donna the bottle back before he reaches for her red manes. "Pretend you're at the hairdresser," he mirrors her first suggestion, and he lets his digits slip between her wet hair until he reaches her scalp, massaging the wash into her hair.

She rocks back and forth on her spot ever so slightly with every gentle push and pull of his hands on her frame. Tilting her head back to let the water stream over her face, she closes her eyes and revels in his touch; a moment so unlike them, not even supposed to take place now that it's just the two of them and yet she can't get enough.

Harvey draws his fingers down Donna's locks, twirling the end of a strand around the tip of his index finger – much like he had done the night before, just consciously now. He watches her draw a breath, shoulders heaving and slowly dropping when it slips from his grasp. "Turn around."

It's barely above a whisper, but it's there, and she does. Following Harvey's lead as she slowly but surely shifts on her spot, her gaze lifting as she moves following the movement of his hands around her face and just before her eyes meet his she closes them at the gentlest touch of his thumb on her cheekbone.

Harvey watches the fluttering of her eyelashes and the way her lips part as he tucks a strand of loose hair behind her ear. Taking in his best friend right in front of him, he's seen her practically every day for the better part of three years; from casual clothes to fully dressed up he thinks he's never seen her more beautiful than at this moment.

His gaze fleets over Donna's face; from the barely-there freckles on her cheeks, he takes in the shape of her nose and the colour of her lips. Harvey knows he shouldn't, doing so would just be tempting himself, but he's a gambler, and he can't help but let his glance slip, following the drops of water cascading down her pale skin, over her collarbones and disappearing in her cleavage.

The bra she's wearing nothing special, but with the water added the white cotton doesn't leave anything up for imagination, and he licks his bottom lip. Swallowing thickly, he redirects his gaze and let's go at last.

She does her best not to gasp, but a soft sigh rolls off of her tongue nevertheless. Throwing her head back under the stream of water, she washes away the remainder of shampoo. Hoping the tingling sensation in the pit of her stomach will disappear along with it.

It doesn't, but she convinces herself it is gone anyway.

When she tilts her head back and opens her eyes, at last, it feels like a lifetime, but it's only been a few seconds since she turned to face him. Not willing to step away just yet, and she tells herself there's a minimum time to be filled to fool the others Donna opens the bottle of shampoo she had been fidgeting with, and she flashes him a smile.

"My turn."

Harvey doesn't get a chance to object as she plops the lid of the bottle and squirts a generous amount onto her hand. She pushes the bottle against his frame for him to take over, just like he had done. Donna doesn't wait for him to turn around but lifts herself onto her toes and brings her hands to his head, letting her fingers slip through his hair.

She massages the shampoo into his wet locks, much like he had done with her ginger manes. If it wasn't for the amount of shampoo she poured into her hand; a mastered measurement for her own hair, it's too much for his. The foam it forms on top of his head getting all over the place, he has to close one eye when it droops down his forehead, and she laughs.

"Sorry," she whispers.

He grins and shakes his head, droplets hitting her and he wipes the foam away with the back of his hand. "It's okay."

"Okay," she parrots, deciding then to lift the excess foam from his head and hold it in front of his face, placing it all along his jawline. He shakes his head and mutters something about her being one of those kids, to which she shrugs.

She bobs her head to the side and takes in her creation, studying the way it looks. She snickers once more at the sight. "You should not grow out a full beard."

"No?"

"No," she says with a shake of her head, moving her hand just so that she's wiping away half of it.

Harvey takes a step towards her, the limited distance between them growing even smaller, and it causes the redhead to move backwards. Her shoulders hitting the tile wall and his stomach nearly touches hers as he lets the water wash away his foam beard. Using his hands, he removes the rest from his head.

She watches his movement, the flexing of his muscles as he moves his left hand over his face. She lets her gaze trace down his arm, the firmness of his bicep, the small scar on his shoulder and then his six-pack – the one that even after years of beers and parties has become firmer than the first time she saw it.

Drawing her bottom lip between her teeth, she inhales and dares herself to glance down. Letting her gaze move over the V-shaped muscles and the hint of hair that runs down from Harvey's navel until it disappears under the elastic band of his boxer briefs; and then those themselves. A dark navy but the wet fabric still outlines everything.

"Hey, lovebirds." Tanner's loud voice echoes through the room, followed by a couple of knocks on the door. "Hurry up; some people have places to be, you know."

She snaps out of her daze then and spurting into motion. "Shut up, Travis," she belts back, pushing past Harvey to get out of the shower and she grabs the first towel from the shelve she can find.

Harvey turns around under the stream once more, running a hand through his hair to remove any left-over shampoo before he turns off the shower and gets out too. Grabbing a towel as well, he runs it over his head. Quickly dries his arms and upper body and then wraps it around his middle. "Now, what?" he asks.

Donna takes in his words, bobbing her head up and down as the tries to come up with an answer; the only option being them leaving the bathroom again. "We'll get to your room," she answers, at last, tucking the edge of her towel down under the other, she brings her hand to her shoulder and pushes the strap of her bra down. Wiggling her arm out of it, she does the same on the other side and props both strands under the towel too.

He watches her in confusion but manages to snap out of it before she looks up at him again. He nods then, stepping forward and reaching for the lock on the door. He glances back at her over his shoulder, mouth a count down and then whispers, "let's go."

She takes a deep breath and clings onto the towel, then quickly pads after him. Rushing through the living room, she does her best to ignore the comments from the other guys, shutting it all off by closing the door to his bedroom behind her. Letting her shoulders slump against the wooden surface as she turns the lock, only truly exhaling then.

So far, so good.

A drop of water drips from Donna's head onto the top of her nose; it's enough to remind Donna they've yet to face another struggle; getting dressed. She pushes herself onto her feet again, deciding it's best to just get it over with.

Rubbing a hand over his arm, Harvey watches Donna make her way over to the other side of the room and open a drawer of the cabinet under the window. He bobs his head to the side, would ask her what she's doing but he knows better than doing that.

Donna quickly scans the content of the drawer, closing it again and opening up the one below. She hums to herself and then rummages through the material, lifting a black pair of boxer briefs from it. As she turns around, she closes the drawer with a swing of her hip.

She sashays her way back to the other side, lifting her folded clothes from the floor and placing them on the edge of his bed. Reaching under the towel without moving it up, she shimmies out of her wet panties and puts on the boxer briefs she just stole. She reaches behind her back next, undoing the clip of her bra and pulling the piece of clothing out of the towel.

Donna watches him lower his gaze and turn around as she does so; the movement itself not surprising in itself but reminding her of the reality and the boundaries between them. She turns around too then, turning her back to him and still teasing him about not taking a peek.

Harvey chuckles softly and shakes his head at her remark because he was the first to turn around. He tries his best to ignore the ruffling sounds behind his back – not trying to piece the moments together when he hears the towel fall to the ground with a loud thud.

He draws his bottom lip between his teeth and inhales as he glances down at his feet. Rocking back and forth on his spot, he shuffles a little and picks on his nail as he tries to distract himself. Harvey throws his head back next, stretching his muscles as he rolls his head during the wait and he accidentally catches a glimpse of her silhouette as she reaches to the side to grab her dress - her pale skin a stark contrast to his boxers, her waist slim, back covered in freckles and the swell of her breast firm. He quickly averts his gaze, looking straight ahead again - his Adam's apple bobbing as he does so.

She slips on the sleeves of her burgundy wrap dress, bringing each half around her frame and tying the band on her hip. Putting on her tights next, she struggles a little with the loose-fitting pair of boxers she put but eventually manages to make it work, and she puts on her boots and cardigan as well.

"So," she mutters as she reaches down, Donna picks up both the towel and her soaked underwear. She flashes him a small smile when he turns around again; she hands him the used towel as she sidesteps him and hangs her clothes on the radiator to dry. "I uhm… should go to class."

He eyes the clock behind him at her mention of class, the time displayed on it way later than he thought it was. His class is just about to start, and with professor Gerard's stance on punctuality, there's no point in going anymore. "Fuck," he mutters under his breath, nodding at her as she's already halfway through the room.

He doesn't follow her or walk her out like he usually would. He doesn't say goodbye, either. The events of the last fifteen minutes finally catching up with him, he physically can't move only snapping out his daze when he hears the front door fall shut. He walks to his door, peaking out of it and into the living room only to find it empty.

The entire charade as they moved back to his room, the time it took for her to get dressed probably for nothing and all it does now is bring back the imagery of her silhouette.

"Fuck," he curses, his back landing against the wall. His shoulders slump down as he lets his hand hang low, gazing down at his towel-clad lower half. The thick fabric no longer being able to cover his burgeoning erection.

He peeks out of his room once more, just to make sure if his roommates are there. When he realises they aren't, he makes his way back to the bathroom, closing the door right behind him. He turns on the tab first before he pulls on the towel and hanging it on the hook at the wall. He shimmies out of boxer briefs, freeing his erect penis as the soaked fabric drops on the tiled floor.

He steps under the cold stream of water, turning around he lets it run over his entire frame. A heavy breath expels him as he closes his eyes and tosses his head back while standing under the stream. He runs a hand over his face, wiping the water away, but the temperature does nothing for his state of mind, let alone his physical appearance.

The need to strong, the easiest way to get it over with by touching himself and he turns up the temperature first before giving in at last. Harvey reaches down and cups his length, sliding his hand down from the base to the tip, using his thumb to press over the swollen head. He groans and lets the water wash away the precum leaking from him.

He can't help but think about the shower he shared half an hour earlier; the first time he did such a thing without it being sexual and yet he considers it to have been the hottest encounter in his life.

He remembers the way the soaked fabric of her bra stuck against her frame, how it outlined her pink nipples; the droplets that hung from the small peaks and he remembers the glimpse of her body he caught in his room. It was just her silhouette, but he recalls her curves, her slim waist, and the swell of her breasts.

He groans again, feeling his member throb in his hand at the image so fresh in his mind it is barely a memory already, but one he'll remember forever. Harvey swallows, Adam's apple bobbing as he does so. He lets his free hand fall against the white tiles for support as he begins a slow stroke.

Up and down his length, he is alternating the speed and the pressure on the tip of his cock. A moan rolls off of his tongue, and when he closes his eyes, and all he sees is red, he knows there's no way back. The only way for him to come is to think of her.

And so he does.

With every stroke of his hand, he imagines it to be her delicate fingers sliding over his length. When he cups his balls, he thinks about the joke she would make while doing so. Harvey moves back to the tip, turning his hand into a small c as he slides it over his sensitive member, he imagines it to be her mouth.

Her plump lips would leave kisses over his length, her tongue trailing down a pulsing vein. Her lips soft against his skin as her warm mouth swallows him whole. He imagines the way she'd bob her head, her body moving along with every move as she'd be sitting on her knees right in front of him.

He envisions the view he would have on her in that position, watching her mouth envelop his cock. Her breasts bounce every time she sucks him in, accidentally hitting his legs every once in a while. Her swollen nipples pressing against his skin each time she moves closer.

He fantasises about her touching herself while blowing him, not just his erection but his mind because all he's able to reach is her hair. He thinks about her hand cupping her breasts, the way she'd roll her taut nipples between her fingers. The stark contrast of her nail polish on her complexion, her skin covered in freckles that would become more and more flushed and not just because of the warmth of the water.

He likes to think she would moan around his shaft, the sound like or laugh or anything she says music to his ears, but it's the vibration is would cause that he enjoys the most.

He pictures her alternating her hands, working his base and his balls with her mouth around his swollen tip. He'd watch her free hand slide over her frame, her breasts, kneading, squeezing and moving lower in a tantalizing pace until it would disappear between her legs.

The sight of her getting herself off while pleasuring him would be too much to handle. His knees would tremble, and his hips would buck towards her mouth. He'd plead, call her name, but she'd suck even harder, slower and look up at him with those innocent hazel eyes and that is it, that's what will pull him over de edge.

"Donna," he breathes, pleading for her to let go, something she'd do just before he comes and her name leaves his lips like a chant. "Donna, Donna, God Don…na."

Except when he opens his eyes, it's not the porcelain skin of her chest that holds his sperm; it's the tile wall of the shower. Another low groan leaves his lips, and his eyes close again, finally feeling himself go limp.

.

 _Friday, December 7_ _th_ _, 2018_

Softly knocking on the frame, Donna stalls in the door opening as she waits for her roommate to acknowledge her presence. She smiles when the brunette does, entering Rachel's bedroom at last. She strides to the bed in the middle of the room and sits down on the edge. Contemplating the way she´ll ask her friend she shuffles and pulls her legs up under her.

"Do we have plans tomorrow night?"

The question leaves her lips with a little hesitation, and even though deep down, she already knows the answer, she does hope they have plans. Like the good ole' days where all of them would hang out every Saturday, and while them hanging out hasn't exactly happened since Halloween, she wishes for the tradition to return. Not just because she misses hanging out with her girlfriends, but more so because it would mean not being with Harvey. And if she has to be honest with herself, she needs a night away. An escape from the reality they created.

Rachel turns around to look over her shoulder, the small smile on her lips spreading into a knowing grin. She bobs her head to the side and eyes her friend. "I get it," Rachel answers, "you just want to be with Harvey right now. You know what, why don't I stay at Mike's tomorrow night and you and Harvey can have this place to yourselves for a date night."

"A date night." The words she repeats come with a hint of uncertainty.

Rachel bobs her head up and down, her grin now becoming cheeky. "Well," she mutters then. "I mean… Bow Chicka Wow Wow."

"Ooh," Donna is about to object to Rachel's suggestion, but she just about manages to swallow in the rest of her words. Realisation hitting the redhead once more that this isn't something she can deny anymore, or even hesitate to answer. Anything that would suggest that is a possible way of blowing their cover, and as hard as their deal turns out to be, Donna can't be the one to mess it up.

She smiles softly, draws her bottom lip between her teeth and pats the duvet on her right with her hand as she pushes herself to stand again. "That would be nice, yes," Donna answers, at last, flashing the brunette a smile once more before leaving her room again. The smile on her face disappearing just as fast and she grabs her phone from the pocket of her cardigan, unlocking it as she goes, she opens the last text to Harvey.

 **Date night tomorrow – x**

Saturday, December 8th, 2018

Donna shuffles over the light blue couch; she pulls her legs up under her, draws the end of her sleeves over her hands as she folds her arms in front of her chest. She brings in a breath and exhales slowly, eyes darting out to the clock on the wall until her attention lands on the other voices in the apartment; Mike and Rachel.

She watches them appear into the living room and turn around again, the sound of the friendly bickering dying along with it. She taps the screen on her phone then, watching it lit up as she takes in the time presented in front of her. Not a minute had passed, she shifts again, fingers twitching and pulling on the fabric of her shirt. She wishes she had a drink but the night is too young for alcohol and it wouldn't sit right on her with how little she had managed to eat throughout the day anyway.

It's twenty-three seconds later, yeah she counted them, that the couple reappears, bags in hand and smiles on their faces and if she had been wearing a smile, it would have faded by now, just as quickly as the pit in her stomach formed. She watches the two lovebirds move in sync, flashes them a fake smile when Rachel wishes her a good night. One she manages to maintain until she hears the door fall shut and her stomach turns once more.

Donna gets up and struts towards the kitchen, she´s halfway down the living room when she halts and reconsiders her actions. Not being able to remember what she was going to get anyway she continues in the opposite direction. The sudden halting of her activities results in the redhead pacing around the living room until she forces herself to drop down on the couch again.

She has been second-guessing her decision to fake date her best friend pretty much from the moment she agreed to it or remembered agreeing to it. And even though they seem to be pulling it off quite well, she can't help but feel nervous around the one person typically makes her feel comfortable.

Her subconscious is to blame for that, making her wonder about things Donna long decided weren't an option. The way her body starts to react as well not helping the situation either; it's not just butterflies in her stomach, it's the tension she feels settling in the pit of her stomach and the ache between her legs that comes with it. One she caved to not once but twice now.

A deep breath expels her, and her eyes flutter close at the memories, the voiced purpose of the night by Rachel only adding fuel to the fire and while she's used to a dry spell, she didn't expect the touch of her best friend, albeit always short and innocent to make her crave for so much more.

Three loud knocks coming from the hallway take her by surprise, and she wakes from her thoughts. Shaking her head as if it will help push the images aside, Donna makes her way over to the front door, taking one last deep breath before she reaches for the handle.

"Showtime," she whispers, but she would have never been able to prepare herself for the image that presents itself on the other side of the door. Her mouth drops, a soft gasp rolling off of her tongue and her gaze drops to the bouquet of pink lilies in his hands. Her hazel eyes flicker up to meet his next.

"Harvey," she breathes, taking in her favourite flowers. She can't remember if she ever told him, but the fact that it is lilies instead of roses makes her forget the rest of her sentence. The question as to why he brought flowers in the first place remains unspoken; the look written over her face tells him as much though.

Harvey grins proudly, it isn't often he manages to surprise his best friend, but when he does, it makes him break out his signature Specter smirk. Harvey bobs his head to the side then, extending the flowers to her. "Marcus once said you should never show up on a date without flowers."

She chuckles at that, to anyone it might sound like the most random explanation but she knows the youngest Specter, and it's right up his alley of things to have said; probably to annoy his brother. "Well," she grins then, finding her voice again. "He's right about that," she agrees and takes the bouquet from his hands. She doesn't invite him in or waits for him to enter, merely turns around knowing he'll follow her anyway.

She arranges the pink lilies in the kitchen, places the vase on a cabinet next to the wall, and as she consequently runs out of things to occupy her mind with her nerves make a comeback. She eyes the room they're in, the couch she was sitting on minutes before in particular and while it's has been such a commonplace for them to have shared she isn't so confident about it now. Rocking back and forth on her spot, Donna eyes him, standing there in the middle of her living room, she blurts out the first thing that comes to mind.

"What do you want to eat?"

"You won't agree to anything else but that shitty Thai place, so I – " His answer gets interrupted by the ring of the doorbell, and instantly Harvey makes his way over to the door; already knowing that it must be the delivery guy. "As I was saying," he continues, holding up the bag, he flashes her a knowing smile as he drops down on the couch.

Donna holds back a sigh as he misses the way she wanted to signal the table, even though they've never shared a meal there before. There's no way to make it look casual now if she has to call him back, so she goes to collect them both a drink and drops down on the right-side end sight of the couch. As far away from him as the object allows her to.

.

Moving a few of the remaining noodles around over the bottom of her cardboard box with a chopstick, she glances up and watches him eat. Averting her gaze again when she senses he's about to look at her in return. She chastises herself for her nerves, for the lack of conversation, and she knows that when he's finished with his dinner, the silence, even with the movie playing in the background, will become painfully awkward.

"It's weird, huh?" she mumbles then, unsure of where she's going with it but she can't take the silence anymore and being the one to break it allows her to steer the conversation.

"Huh?" he hums, not entirely understanding what she is hinting at with her question. His thoughts lead him to one of their earlier conversations, but she said everything was fine; her actions after that only proving her statement. So Harvey takes another bite of his dinner and eyes her then, awaiting her response.

"I mean… all of this…" She pauses and looks away once over. Donna wishes she could put into words what is making her feel this way; their decision to pretend to be dating. But she agreed to his request and even though she's the actress, meaning Donna should be the one having no trouble switching back to reality. Yet, there's something about the situation that makes her oblivious to his behaviour. She tells herself he's acting like he always does, so the redhead brings up something else that's been on her mind since one of her tutors brought it up. "College," Donna says now. "It will be over in about six months."

Harvey thinks over her words, draws his bottom lip between his teeth to remove a bit of the sweet sauce that lingered there, and a chuckle follows then when a memory hits him.

"Every year, the first day of school," he starts as he notices a hint of confusion washing over her face despite her stoic look at the cardboard box in her hands, it's the wrinkle her brows make when she thinks. "Dad got me a jersey with my name on it. Back when I wanted to be a baseball player."

She didn't know this in particular, but it indeed sounds like something the man she knows would do. Donna smiles at the image he sketches. "Do you still get them?" she wonders out loud, but deep down, she already knows the answer; she's never seen any of the jerseys he describes.

He shakes his head and shrugs. "Not after I busted my shoulder."

He doesn't have to say it for her to realise it means he never got one during his time at NYU. She also figures it isn't Gordon withholding the present, but one of his remarks on the subject matter that made his father put a hold on a tradition she assumes must have run since he went to kindergarten. "Well," she muses then, "maybe instead of having your name on a jersey… One day it will be on the wall at Gordon Schmidt Van Dyke."

He realises her words are a bit of a tease, but he also knows that apart from his father, she's the one that always has faith in his abilities. _Gordon Schmidt Van Dyke Specter._ Even though he knows the combination is highly unlikely, Harvey still pictures her description, and he breaks out in a smile then. "Yeah," he mutters with a nod, shifting ever so slightly he drops his left arm on the backrest of the couch. He taps his hand against the blue fabric, and he grins as another thought crosses his mind. "You know if this acting thing doesn't work out, you could always come and work for me?"

"Like what? Your secretary?" she fires back, giving him a look that already tells him her answer.

He shrugs anyway, decides to push her buttons even further. "I'd love to have you on my desk."

She laughs now, loudly, and she shakes her head. Her best friend is an idiot, but they're talking and having fun again, so Donna lets him. She pulls her legs up and to the side, her right hand still playfully slapping his arm at his suggestion. "I'm going to have a masters in acting. No way I'm going to spend all day managing your calendar, mister."

He fake pouts and she rolls her eyes.

"I could be your first client, though," she says with a bright smile, and Donna moves her hands through the air as she speaks next. "Harvey Specter, representing Broadway's rising star, Donna Paulsen."

Her own words remind her of the tickets she has in her backpack, and she gets up to retrieve them. When she returns, she drops down on the couch once more, leg pulled up under her, her shoulder hitting Harvey's lower arm as she does so. She extends the two tickets in front of him, silently offering them with a smile.

Harvey's back straightens as her hair tickles his arm and his eyes darts to the two pieces of paper in front of him. He knows what they are, but the fact that it is more than one throws him off a bit. "You want me to bring a date?"

She chuckles and slaps his chest. "One is for your dad," she explains, "and the other for you; if you want to come?"

"When have I not been there?"

"Apart from the god awful dinner party?" She challenges his answer in return, but it's the way he shakes his head that makes her realise he's telling the truth.

"You've always been there?" The question pronounced so softly it almost goes unnoticed, but he reassures her with a nod anyway. She eyes him then, silently as reality dawns in on her and she swallows then thickly.

"I didn't know you were a Shakespeare fan," her words once more used as a joke to break away from her train of thoughts.

He laughs, shakes his head and then tells her the real reason for his presence. "I'm a Donna fan."

His words are so sincere that they tug on her heartstrings, and they make the nerves she felt at the beginning of the evening resurface. The closing credits of the movie starting to roll in now don't do anything to her comfort either, and she can merely mumble a heartfelt thank you in reply.

One she follows up with a fake yawn, stretched arms and an apologetic smile.

He doesn't seem to notice it though, automatically getting up and collecting both of their empty cardboard boxes to throw away. When he returns to the living room, Donna is already standing, he nods in acknowledgement and reminds himself of the rules. They're alone, Rachel won't be returning for the night, meaning there's no reason to pretend now and thus he reaches for the throw blanket from the basket. "I'll uhm… sleep on the couch."

She hesitates for a second or two and she shouldn't, she really shouldn't. No sleepovers is a rule after all, but it's also the opposite of what used to be their normal. And the point of having these twelve conditions in the first place was to ensure they would be able to go back to how they have always been. And thus Donna motions for Harvey to follow her with a nod of her head.

Harvey stalls on his spots, hands still clasping onto the thick fabric, he swallows.

She doesn't wait for him to move into action. Instead, she extends her left hand and reaches for his. Fingers slipping under his palm, the blanket drops to the floor as she moves ahead. Her arms swing behind her back as she guides him with her, switching the hold on his arm from her left hand to her right only letting go once they're inside.

.

He swallows, eyes scanning the dark ceiling as he tries to succumb to sleep. Donna's breathing is a reminder of the situation, how he's not alone. And even though they didn't spend the last two nights together, she still visited him in his dreams. That too a reason he finds it hard to give in to his tiredness

He tosses and turns, eventually turning around and reaching over for his phone. He checks the time, unlocks the screen and scrolls through his messages. "Fuck," he mumbles, when he spots a notification, one he had forgotten.

"Everything okay?" she whispers, rolling around to face him.

"Yeah." He lets his head fall to the right, his gaze locking with hers in the darkness. "It's just…" He sighs, a laugh escaping him. "It's my last wisdom tooth, they're removing it on Monday, and I need someone to pick me up."

"Okay," she says before he can ask her to do so. "Just tell me what time I need to be there."

"Okay," he agrees, a yawn escaping him at last. His eyes flutter, and he whispers his gratitude next.

"Ooh, Harvey," she pokes his arm then, she waits until he opens his eyes again before she continues. "If you're going to act weird, I'm going to film you."

He chuckles lazily, shakes his head and then turns on his side to fully face her. "I've gotten high plenty of times, nothing a little anaesthesia is going to do to me."

.

 _Monday, December 10_ _h_ _, 2018_

She pulls on the balloon and makes her way over to the reception desk, letting her hands rest on the marble top. Her fingertips impatiently tap away as Donna waits for the nurse to turn around and face her when the older woman does, at last, she smiles.

"How can I help you?"

"I'm looking for Harvey Specter."

"Are you family?" the nurse asks before she turns to the screen on her right.

Donna rocks back and forth on her spot. The question not uncommon, and while it may feel like he is, fake dating aside even, she knows the truth won´t help her here. "He's my boyfriend," she answers with a smile.

"Alright," the nurse says as she clicks through the system, looking up his file. "If you go to the right, you'll find him in room 415."

She bobs her head in understanding, pushing herself onto her feet and follows the given directions until she reaches the room at the end of the hallway. She knocks softly on the door.

Harvey stares at the doctor, brows drawn together as he takes in the older man. The knocks on the door suspicious to him he tries to speak. "Expecting company, Goldfinger?"

The doctor looks at his patient, chuckling once before he announces that it's okay to enter the room. Both the doctor and his patient turn to look at the redhead appearing in the door opening.

"Hey," Donna smiles at Harvey.

"What are you doing here Helga Brandt?"

Donna frowns and chuckles at his answer, then she turns to look at the doctor and shakes her head. "I'm not," she says, extending her hand to shake the older man's hand.

"I know," the doctor replies. "He's been quoting James Bond movies ever since he woke up, but Mr Specter is mixing them up now," he explains. "Dr Lipschitz," he introduces himself, shaking the young woman's hand.

"I'm Donna, his girlfriend."

"Well, Donna," Lipschitz says. "This is just the anaesthesia talking, it should wear off in a few hours, but he's good to go home."

She smiles and steps towards her best friend, her hand reaching for his bicep she asks him to go.

"I'm not going anywhere with you, Helga."

Donna just about manages to hold in her laugh; she looks at the doctor again.

"You only live twice," Dr Lipschitz answers.

Donna grins and nods, figuring then the easiest way to get him home is just to play along. At least for now. She takes another step towards Harvey, her hand finding his shoulder and she leans in then, bringing her lips close to his ear. "It's for a mission."

He gives in with a deep sigh and mutters under his breath. "The things I wouldn't do for England."

She squeezes his shoulder, urging him to get up and she links her arm with his. Guiding him out of the room, she hands him the balloon she bought at the children's section of the facility when she entered. His smile is bright, his eyes fixated on the floating object, and if he weren't so high, she would have made fun of his behaviour.

"Are we going to Disneyland?"

His question takes her completely by surprise, and she laughs, immediately reconsidering her decision. The second they're home she is going to get some material to tease him with later on.

.

She flicks the string of the balloon that's stuck against the ceiling now. Dropping down on the couch of the empty living room, it was just the ride home, but she's already exhausted. He kept talking about seeing animals in the sky but insisted it weren't birds and she hopes the effect will wear off a little now that they're home.

He draws her attention again when he walks by her and straight into the open kitchen, pulling open the fridge. "Smoothie time."

She chuckles, shakes her head and gets up too. Figuring it might be best if she completes the task as he stumbles through the kitchen. She rounds the kitchen island, trying to take the bottle of apple juice from his hand. It's a small fight back and forth, but she wins when his attention draws to the bowl of fruit in the middle of the counter.

She turns around to grab the blender. "What kind of smoothie do you want?" she asks when he's lifting every single piece of fruit and placing them back again in the bowl. "Harvey?" she presses when he doesn't answer.

"Sssssssh," he objects with a finger to his mouth. "I'm trying to remember what they taste like."

She stares at him for a moment, biting down on her bottom lip and she figures this is as good a moment as ever to start filming him. She reaches for her phone and turns on the front camera, placing it against a stack of books on the side, she turns to look at him again. "Okay, which one?"

He points at the little plastic box with red fruits inside.

"Those are strawberries," she says, pausing for a moment to gauge his reaction. Wondering if he was going to object or not. She picks one from the box and smells it, before holding it up in front of him. "They smell kind of sweet, almost like candy but they can taste a bit sour." She hears him hum, and she figures it's enough of approval, she also thinks he's already forgotten all about wanting a smoothie as he walks back to the living room. She fixes him one anyway, adding a few to the blender and adding a banana, a hint of vanilla and a bit of whipped cream to it as well.

She picks up her phone, switches the camera around and brings him the strawberry banana smoothie. "There," she motions the glass, redirecting her cellphone, so she catches him on the frame again. He's talking absolute nonsense, and she finds it highly entertaining, laughing away at everything he says which makes him talk even more.

Ten minutes later he's had enough of talking but tries to play the PlayStation with the television remote, something he can't seem to figure out as to why it isn't working until she pulls it from his hands. She hands him the smoothie instead, telling him to drink it and she watches his actions through her screen.

The way he takes a sip, the satisfying hum that follows and she chuckles at the smile he gives her. The pink substance resting on the corner of his mouth, she leans forward, switches her phone between her hands and then reaches for him. Her hand falls against his cheek, her thumb wiping away the remainder of the smoothie.

She sees him watching her now, taking another sip of the drink she made him as Donna pulls her hand away again.

He swallows, licks his lips and then chuckles in himself.

"What?" she whispers, pointing at his nose.

He laughs again. "You look like a strawberry."

She snorts, nearly doubles over, and she shakes her head. "No, I don't."

He bobs his head up and down. "Yeah, you do," he answers leaning closer, his hand moving to point at her hair. "Red," he says, drawing the end of a strand through his fingers, "and you're sweet too."

"That's taste," she corrects him immediately, frozen on her spot as her gaze locks with his.

It's barely above a whisper, but it's there, he doesn't comment on that though. Something he might have done if not high, but the conversation wouldn't have even started if he was sober. And he sure as hell wouldn't have lean in further and spoken the following words.

"I love you, Donna."


	7. Chapter 7

I want to thank everyone for the reviews, favs etc. I love them and they inspire me so much. So thank you again, we're picking right up where we left off, because how can we not after that confession but things can't be easy can they. Looking back I realised I haven't written much including Mike yet, I'm sorry pup.. I've tried to weave him in a bit more, as well as their other friends in this chapter. So here's the next part, slowly progressing cause it's only a few days and there's so much to come before they finally get to celebrate x-mas. Anyway, I do hope you'll like it and I'd love to hear your thoughts. - M

* * *

 **MISTLETOE MYSTERY**

 **CHAPTER VII**

She freezes on the spot, and her phone nearly drops from her trembling hand. Any response she could have had falters on the tip of her tongue as the four words are on repeat in her mind. It has taken her so by surprise, leaving her breathless and twisting her stomach into a knot that she only notices he has finished his smoothie and is relaxing against the backrest on the other end of the couch again when she hears him speak once more.

This time his words couldn't be more different from the ones he spoke last.

"Shit, I'm going to fail my test."

Donna's brows draw together now, and she shakes her head ever so slightly as she tries to wrap her brain around what just happened. The words he said before, but even more so the ones he let out now. "What?" she inquires hesitantly.

He signals his jaw, loudly yawns before he feels the need to vocalise his explanation. "They took all my wisdom away."

She blinks twice, stunned by his answer and if it hadn't been preceded by what it had been preceded, she might even have laughed. She remembers her phone now, finally switching it off and tucking it away. She shifts over the couch, draws a breath and fights her patience. "That's not how it works, Harvey."

"But I…" he pauses, trying to stifle a yawn but he fails. "I don't have any anymore," he reasons, yawning not once but twice now. His eyelids fluttering closed after, before abruptly opening them again.

"You're an idiot," she says, pushing herself into her feat and she glances at him when another yawn echoes through the room. "Come on," she motions for him to get up, already reaching forward to take hold of his arm, she pulls him up. "Let's get you to bed."

.

* * *

.

Tuesday, December 11

He groans and runs a hand over his face as he makes his way down the stairs. Even after twelve hours of sleep, he feels drained; like he got hit by a truck and had drunken himself to oblivion altogether. His jaw hurts, and his forehead aches even worse; he had fallen asleep still dressed, and it's that Donna promised she'd be the one to take him home that he even knows how he got back there.

He rubs his jaw again, the stubbles rough against his fingertips. His jaw aches so much he has forgone shaving that morning; hell, he could barely even look in the mirror upon waking up. At least the stubble hides some discolouring he's sure is taking place on the side of his face now.

He takes another step, slowly coming to a halt when the door to apartment 206 opens and he waits to see who it is that exits. It's Rachel, and the sight alone leaves a weird feeling in the pit of his stomach, relief and disappointment weaved together.

He mutters out a hello and Rachel stalls for a brief second before continuing her quick descend. Rachel says she would wait for him to walk to class but that she is in a hurry as she has to pick up something before.

"Okay," he grumbles, yawning once more, but he doesn't really care. In fact, he's glad he can use the ten-minute walk to gather his thoughts. Mindlessly doing so as he rounds the corridor and continues his way down, he doesn't notice Donna calling his name or her footsteps until she's right behind him and even if he had nothing could have prepared him for the words that were about to follow.

"So, now that the anaesthesia has worked off do you still love me?"

She surprises even herself with her question, one she would have never asked if the words hadn't been all she could think about last night. Despite the fact that she kept telling herself it doesn't mean anything, she even thinks he won't remember saying it at all. But for once her catchphrase doesn't apply, she doesn't know for sure and she can't handle not knowing, so she asks. The boldest question she's ever asked.

His eyes widen, and Harvey nearly misses the last step as he comes to an abrupt standstill on the landing. The pounding of his heart is now a more dominant feeling than the ache in his jaw, he doesn't know where to look, but all he can direct his gaze to is her face. Donnas's eyes, they're as wide as his and yet it nothing clicks. He doesn't realise she is referring to the words he used. "Ooh shit," he groans, running a hand over his face. "What… what did I do?"

She swallows thickly, she doesn't know what she was expecting, and in a way, it's a relief that he doesn't remember. That she was right; that it meant nothing. She realises then she still has to answer his question and her acting kicks in; it's what Donna always does when she has to work her way out of a situation she doesn't know why or how she got herself into it in the first place. So she fakes disappointment, emphasising it with the words to follow. "So you didn't mean it?"

He blames his headache, but it takes him longer than it should to realise she is just messing with him, and once he does, he also remembers the rules. The ones she made him agree to in order to do this whole fake dating thing, the three little words not a part of his vocabulary but even if they had been he wasn't allowed to say them. And neither was she.

He laughs then, loudly even if it makes his jaw hurt, but it's a better feeling than the panic that came over him a couple of seconds ago. "Shit," he breathes, bumping the redhead's shoulder with his own as he shakes his head. "You got me there."

She wills herself to laugh now too, tells herself it was fine. It meant nothing; she knew that and yet it gnaws on her insides. "Yeah, yeah,'' she gives in, flashing her best friend a brighter smile this time around.

Harvey rolls his eyes at her antics and smiles, bobbing his head in the direction of the door, and he silently waits for her to take the first step. Only when he takes a step outside and the cold December air hits his face, Harvey remembers what Donna told him before he even went into surgery. "You didn't film me doing anything stupid, did you?"

She freezes for a split second, his question catching her off guard but she shakes her head, taking the door from his hand and stepping outside too. She brings her hands to her face and blows over then. "No," Donna lies, "didn't think of that."

He eyes her curiously, and he'd be willing to give her the benefit of the doubt, but he knows his best friend better than that. Harvey bobs his head to the side, challenging her answer with a mere look.

"What?" She reasons, throwing him the same look in return. "You don't trust that I didn't record you?"

It's a trap, he knows it, but he doesn't care. He shakes his head and extends his hand. "Give me your phone."

She chuckles, shuffles on her spot, and kicks a twig with her boot. "No," she reasons with a shake of her head, and she crosses her arms.

"Phone," he orders again, motioning for her to hand it over one more time.

"Fine." She gives in with a loud sigh, dropping her arms with an extra hint of dramatic flair. She reaches inside the pocket of her parka, unlocks and hands over her phone.

He's not sure what he's expecting to find but getting a glimpse of the background picture they took back during thanksgiving weekend reels his mind back to her question.

"Well," she sighs, holding her hand back up to retrieve her mobile.

He snaps out of his thoughts, pushing them away as fast as they came, and he opens up her camera roll. The last ones there were dinner, a selfie with Rachel and a few she took at his father's place. Harvey doesn't scroll further down, exits the app instead and hands it back over. "I stand corrected."

She smirks, stuffing her phone back into her pocket. "Told you."

He shakes his head, shrugs and continues his way down to the lecture hall. "So, I really didn't do or say some stupid shit last night?" he asks as they round the corner, almost finding it hard to believe himself.

Donna eyes him again, wonders if he knows after all and if he's testing her now. She figures he doesn't and is just genuinely curious; a soft snicker rolling off of her tongue as she thinks back to his antics as James Bond, the way he tried to play a game with the tv remote and lastly his words. "I don't think you did or said anything stupid last night."

He smiles proudly, nodding at himself. "Told you a little anaesthesia wouldn't get to me."

"Apart from crying over the prettiest car getting crashed in the movie you wanted to watch," she counters, making the situation up on the spot. She flashes him a teasing smile and parts to the right when they reach an intersection, leaving him to walk ahead. All to hide how last night made her feel. "Sure."

He groans and throws his hands in the air; he shakes his head at the way she laughs. He knew it. "I hate you," he calls after her.

She laughs even louder now, looking back over her shoulder at him. "No, you don't," she belts in return, shaking her head and increasing her steps to make it to her rehearsal on time.

He rolls his eyes, can't believe he fell for that. Donna is right, though. He doesn't hate her. Not at all.

.

.

Rachel hums along to the Christmas music playing on the radio, scrolling up on the recipe on her iPad as she stirs around in the pan, before lifting a spoon to taste the rice. "Hey," she acknowledges her roommate's arrival as she hears the door fall shut in the hallway. "You joining me for dinner?"

Donna drops her keys in the bowl and turns to look at the brunette in the kitchen. The counter filled with little pots and pans, a bunch of spices and other ingredients. She smiles to herself, the sight not uncommon with her foodie roommate. She can't count the times Rachel summoned Mike and her to taste whatever it was Rachel was creating. "Yeah," she answers, "just got to uhm.." she pauses and stares at the phone in her hand. "Send this email real quick, okay?"

It's a lie, but Donna doesn't wait for Rachel to answer. Instead, she hurries her way through the living room and closes the door behind her the second she's in her bedroom. A deep sigh escaping her as she does so.

She flings her bag onto her bed and drops down next to it, her phone still in hand. She illuminates the screen once more and eyes the message Harvey has sent her that morning. Mere minutes after they parted ways on Broadway and West 4th Street.

 _ **You were right. I don't hate you.**_

The message nothing more than part of their banter, words exchanged she already knew they held no meaning. But at the same time they chip away at a facade she had so carefully crafted. Telling herself, she didn't care, that whatever it was that had transpired between them the night before didn't mean anything.

She swallows again, runs a hand through her hair and curses herself for giving in when she unlocks her phone and opens up her camera roll. It had taken more out of her than she'd like to admit to deleting the video and now here she was, going into the bin and undoing it.

Donna glances at the screen of her phone as the video gets restored to her files. Her eyes close for a second when she hears Rachel call for her again.

"I'll be right there," she says, but nothing in her actions hint at that. She remains rooted on her spot on her bed, headphones still in, thumb hovering above the play button on her screen. She presses at last.

The images are mostly a blur, either due to her movement or his. It's a mixture of laughter, mostly hers and while she hadn't been able to last night; she laughs now.

But it's not loud, nor happy.

And she feels the tears starting to form in her eyes as the events replay again. The smoothie she made him, the video game he tried to play, and at last his words. It's where the video ends, and so does her charade. Her eyes closing, she draws her top lip between her teeth and wills herself to take a deep breath.

"Donna?"

Her eyes snap open again, and she regains her composure. Locking her phone, she tosses it on her bed next to her. By the time she's back in the living room, her tears are dry and a smile graces her lips again.

"What are you making?" she asks, genuinely interested but also to take her mind off of the video.

Rachel turns around and looks at the redhead; there's a split second of sadness she catches in the other woman's eyes. She's about to turn her head when Donna smiles, more extensive this time and she watches Donna motion the ingredients in front of her to reiterate her question, and thus she lets it go.

"Sushi," the law student answers. "A few weeks back, I visited this new place near Chelsea Market with Samantha, and I've been obsessed since."

Donna chuckles, she slightly shakes her head and watches the pieces taking shape right in front of her as Rachel excitedly points out all the different types she has made. "They look amazing, Rach."

"Thanks," Rachel beams in return, finishing rolling up the last one, she places it on the wooden serving board next to the others. "And done," she adds with a smile, washing her hands and reaching for the chopsticks from the kitchen drawer.

"I'll grab the wine," Donna announces as she pushes herself onto her feet and makes a beeline towards the fridge. Grabbing the white wine and two glasses, she asks if Rachel wants to sit at the table or on the couch.

The latter usually indicates it's going to be a long night, and it surprises Rachel, but in a good way. "You don't have any plans tonight?"

Donna shakes her head and places the glasses on the coffee table. Pulling her leg up, she sits down on the couch and reaches for the can opener from the table.

"Good," Rachel agrees, walking after the redhead and sitting down next to her. "I needed a girls night."

"Me too," Donna says, sliding one of the filled glasses of wine over to her friend, before lifting her own, waiting for her drink to meet Rachel's in a silent toast.

They're halfway through the sushi rolls when Rachel breaks the comfortable silence. "How was rehearsal?" she asks, dipping her next piece in the wasabi.

Donna hums, chewing on the last piece of her tuna. Washing it away with a generous sip of wine, she shifts over the couch and leans against the backrest. "Okay, I guess," she says. "I don't know if I'm ready to perform on Friday, though."

Rachel bobs her head up and down in understanding, it's not what she hoped to hear, and she regrets the news she has to share even more, but she has to bite the bullet. "About Friday, I'm not sure I'll be able to make it."

Donna takes in Rachel's words and does her best to hide her disappointment. She knows this would only be the case if there weren't another way, Rachel had always been there to watch.

"It's just," Rachel continues, feeling her friend deserves more of an explanation than that. "Professor Gerard told us this morning, Friday's class is now at six in the afternoon and presence is mandatory."

The redhead nods, it's not the first time she's heard her friends talk about the professor's stance on presence. She has some of those classes too, but it only hits her now that it's not just Rachel following the course. It's Jessica, Tanner, Mike and Harvey.

"I get it," she answers, shrugging softly. "It's not your fault, that's part of your exam just like this is mine."

"You sure?"

Donna presses her lips into a thin line and nods once more. It sucks, but it's not Rachel's fault, and she understands the situation. She just doesn't understand why Harvey hasn't told her yet.

"I'll still try, though." Rachel continues, reaching for another piece of sushi. "Sometimes he ends his late classes early, but I just can't be sure. So I wanted you to know."

Donna smiles, bringing her hand to her friend's knee and squeezes once. "Rach, it's fine," she reassures her friend again. "It's a one-night performance of something a first-year wrote. Like a twentieth-century Scrooge but then as a romantic comedy."

Rachel laughs at the description, it's similar to how Sean had explained it before, and it's clear to her how her friends aren't that excited about having to perform it in the first place. "So like that movie with Matthew McConaughey? What's it called again… Ghosts of-"

"Girlfriends past," Donna fills in with a laugh. "Yeah, meets Jane Austen."

Rachel laughs now too, the play sounding even more ridiculous every second. "And who wrote it again?"

"Some first-year named... Uhm Zoe," Donna answers, doing her best to recall it. "There's this collaboration with the writing courses and one of the plays gets picked for the holiday production each year, so.."

"Doesn't sound like an up-and-coming writing career to me," Rachel grins over her glass of wine.

Donna can't help but snicker, and she taps the law student's arm. "That's mean," she reasons, she doesn't know the girl, but, indeed, this isn't the best piece of writing they've had to work with.

"You thought it," the brunette counters, knowing full well that Donna did think it. Her description of the play giving it away.

"Thinking about it, and saying it isn't the same thing," she reasons in return.

Rachel laughs now, getting put in place by her roommate. "I thought I was the one becoming a lawyer, not you."

Donna shrugs, it wasn't her fault the majority of her friends are studying law, and it's in her nature as an actress to pick up on little sayings and gestures and incorporate them in the stories she's performing. "True," she agrees, "but if that doesn't work out, you could always start your own restaurant, cause these are delicious."

"Thank you," Rachel says, smiling as she takes in the compliment.

"Have you made them for Samantha yet?"

"No," Rachel admits, and it gives her an idea. Quickly reaching for her phone, she snaps a picture of Donna taking a bite of the last salmon roll. She sends it, with the promising review to her sister; thanking the blonde for taking her there once more.

"How's Sam?" Donna asks then.

"Good," Rachel answers, "last time I talked to her, she was working on this gender discrimination case with one of the name partners. It actually made me think of changing the topic for my dissertation. It got approved by Ms Hessington today, so I'm really excited to sit down with her after the holidays and discuss the best course of action."

"Rach, that's amazing."

Rachel hums, reaches forward and tops of both of their glasses again. The rest of the girls night contains of with laughter, a movie they've both seen before. Lots of talk about their final months at university and their plans for beyond.

.

* * *

.

Wednesday, December 12

Donna sits down on the floor of the rehearsal room, letting out a deep sigh as she tosses the script down next to her. They've been going over the same scene for an hour now, and it's driving her mad. Having to do this play amid finals, and on top of that, she has to think about what she's going to do for the auditions that will take place right after the holidays.

"You okay?"

She glances over her shoulder and presses her lips into a thin line as she acknowledges Sean's presence. "I am," she reassures him when he sits down next to her, "it's just …"

"This play," Sean finishes for her, he tosses his script on the floor too as he stretches his legs out in front of him. "I know, at least you've got an interesting part."

She chuckles, drops her head to the side and lets it lean on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, businessman number two."

Sean laughs and sighs. Wrapping his arm around his friend, he pulls her closer. "At least you might be getting something out of this," he reasons.

Donna pulls away ever so slightly, lifting her head and she turns to look at him. Confusion is written all over her face.

"Ooh come on, you must have seen the way Daniel has been looking at you."

She thinks about it for a moment, eventually leaning her head on Sean's shoulder again. "I have," she admits.

The lack of enthusiasm doesn't go unnoticed to the blond. "But?"

"Not interested," she answers, it's the truth but only a part of it. She's supposed to be with Harvey now, and while most of their friends knew by now. She hasn't told Sean yet.

"He's kinda cute though."

She chuckles, sees right through the comment and eyes the guy on the other side of the room. "Then why don't you date him?"

"He's not gay, sadly," Sean sighs. "Here's to us theatre geeks being single during the holidays, yet again."

She feels her stomach drop at his words, in a way it's true because whatever it is that she's doing with Harvey is fake. On the other hand, this is going to be the only chance she'll get to tell him the news herself as Sean is the only one from her faculty that's become immersed into the group of law students.

"Actually…"

Sean drops his arm again, shuffling a bit as he turns to face Donna. "What, who?"

"Harvey," she admits after a deep breath.

"Har -" he swallows in the rest of the name, taking a moment to digest the news. "Wow," he stammers then. "Wow, another fine man of the market."

Donna raises an eyebrow in surprise, the reply not uncommon at all given the celebrity news they discussed at length during lunch on Tuesdays for years now. Hearing it about her best friend feels strange though.

Sean notices the look on Donna's face and nudges her arm with his elbow. "I mean, everyone with eyes knows the man has only ever been interested in you, but that doesn't mean I haven't seen how hot he is."

She stares at her friend for a moment, swallowing thickly as she takes in his words and what they would mean. Why is it that everyone thinks the same thing. "Yeah," she whispers then, a shy smile forming on her face as she remembers the moment they shared in the shower the week before. But even more then that, the smile she caught on camera."He is."

"Everyone," the director belts through the room before Sean gets a chance to reply, "from the top."

.

.

Donna paces up and down the stairs. A script in her hand, words stumble over her tongue as she tries her might to remember what is written on the pages in front of her. She climbs another two steps, coming to a halt on the landing in the middle and she turns around on her spot, hand still resting on the railing as she does do. She glances back down to the door of her apartment, a sigh escapes her, and her chest heaves with the heavy breath that follows.

Drawing her bottom lip between her teeth, she averts her gaze back to the script in her hand. Shuffling her feet over the wooden flooring, she turns around once more, staring up now through the hallway to the last floor. Absentmindedly her fingers tap against the railing until the motion turns into a forward pushing movement. Donna forces herself to take the next step and another one after that.

Increasing her pace with each step she takes, she's almost out of breath when she reaches the fifth floor. That not being because of the ascent but the way her nerves multiplied with each floor that she climbed. There's a reason she spent last night with Rachel, not just because a girls night was long overdue but because a part of her is anxious about being alone with him.

Something that had been so normal to her in all the years they've known each other. Harvey has grown to become her best friend for a reason, and she knows, she really knows it's all pretend but sometimes, some little moments it just doesn't feel like it is anymore. Those moments mostly shared when it's only the two of them. When they shouldn't be pretending at all, and that terrifies her.

She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, forcing her heartbeat to slow down and trying to regain her composure because as much as it terrifies her, as much as she doesn't want to be alone with Harvey, not being near him is even worse. So when she opens her eyes again, she has her right hand raised and resting against the door. She hasn't knocked yet, and she doesn't.

Instead, she pulls her hand back even faster than she raised it. The pieces of paper crumbling under her fingertips, she walks back until her shins reach the railing and she bumps against it. That intrusion breaks her out of her spiral, and she shakes her head, cursing herself for her behaviour.

"He is your best friend," she reassures herself barely above a whisper, and the steps she takes forward are more determined this time around. Just three strides until she faces the three brass numbers in front of her again; 505.

She didn't knock a few seconds back, and she doesn't beat now, using the key he'd given her years ago instead. She turns the lock and enters the apartment like she did a million times before, closing the door behind her with a loud thud as she calls out her greeting.

"Red."

She chuckles at the greeting she gets in return, and Donna quickly crosses the corridor until she stands into the living room. "Travis," she acknowledges the law student, she signals back to the door over her shoulder. "Is Harvey –"

"Not home," Tanner says with a shake of his head, his focus soon returning to the television screen in front of him. "Want to play?" he asks her then, holding up the spare remote for her to take.

"And beat you again?" she declines with a smile as Tanner rolls his eyes in return. It wasn't uncommon for Donna to drop down on the couch and join either of the guys in a game. Either racing of football, she lost ninety per cent of the time though, but she doesn't accept the invitation this time around. "I uhm…" Donna pauses, her gaze flickering to the television remote and she averts it again right after, back to the script in her hand. "I can't, I have to memorise this," she explains, waving the piece of paper in front of his face as she walks past the couch and towards Harvey's room.

"Need help?" Tanner calls over his shoulder, slamming the controller on the edge of the seat as the rival team scores. He hits pause and turns to look at Donna, awaiting her response.

Letting her hand rest on the doorknob, she turns around in the door opening to face Travis again. She shakes her head once and gives him an apologetic smile. "I'll manage. You should worry about beating…" she pauses, staring at the screen for a moment. "France. Bonne chance."

Tanner rolls his eyes once more, watching her disappear into Harvey's room. "Oui, madame," he mumbles, pressing the play button and bringing his attention back to the football players on his screen.

Donna chuckles softly at Tanner's reaction, she's sure he didn't mean for her to hear it, but she did. Softly giving the door a push, leaving it not quite shut, she strolls through Harvey's bedroom. Letting her fingertips trail over the duvet Donna eyes her surroundings. From his bed to the desk, to the lounge-chair that also functions as clothing bin, and she lets her gaze roam over the walls back to his study.

It's definitely not the first time she's there, not even being here alone, but it's the first time after hearing him say three little words he has no recollection of ever having spoken them. Words she convinces herself once more of that they do not mean anything, simply because to him, they cannot mean anything; because he will not ever allow them to have meaning.

Donna tears her gaze away from the painting she knows to be his mother's, back to the script in her hand. Exhaling slowly, she flips through the pages until she finds a highlighted section and the redhead goes over the words again and again.

.

.

Tanner is still playing games on the PlayStation by the time Harvey gets home, and he greets his roommate with a simple nod of his head. Not paying much attention to the other man, he only starts to frown when he watches his fellow law student slowly move through the living room. Dropping his bag on the kitchen island and rounding it to get to the fridge. It's then that he realises Donna probably didn't even let him know she was here.

"Red's in your bed."

The carton of milk slips from his hand, but he's fast to catch it with his other in one swift movement, putting it back again. He turns around, brows knitted together in a deep frown. "What?"

Tanner peeks up from the screen, dumbfoundedly staring at his roommate. "Your girlfriend is here," he spells out for the other man then, returning his focus to the game. "Though I haven't heard her running her lines in a while now."

"Right," Harvey mutters in response, trying to regain his composure. They hadn't talked about meeting up, but it wasn't uncommon for her to show up or just be there from time to time anyway. He kicks the fridge shut and throws his backpack back over his shoulder before slowly making his way over to his room.

His hand slides over the wooden door, hesitatingly pushing it open because a part of him starts to wonder if Tanner isn't just making it up to get a rile out of him. The image Travis' original phrasing sketched turning his insides upside down, and he finds himself wishing she is there.

He spots her feet first, and he exhales slowly, pausing as he closes the door behind him again and Harvey lets his gaze drag over her long legs that are spread out over his duvet and then the rest of her frame until he eyes the familiar red manes cascading down his white sheets.

Her name is on the tip of his tongue when he notices she hasn't acknowledged his presence yet and with a step to the left, a closer look, he sees she has fallen asleep. He cocks his head to the side, nose wrinkling as he takes her in. Striding closer his stare moves to focus on her face, her eyes fallen shut he notices how long her lashes are, how she mustn't have been wearing much make-up because her freckles are more evident and at last her lips—slightly parted. The sound of her steady breathing mesmerising in a way he hadn't noticed before.

Quietly he places his bag at the foot of his desk, and he sits down in the chair. Reaching down and opening it up, he removes his book from it and places it back on his desk. The piece of paper in her hand hadn't gone unnoticed to him, and according to Tanner she had been running her lines, deep down he knows she would want for him to wake her up, but he can't make himself do so. Stealing one last glance, he returns his focus to the book and rereads the final chapter required for his exam tomorrow.

.

.

Her hand tingles and her shoulder aches, she shuffles a little and licks her lips. Her mouth feels dry, she coughs a little and only then does she fully wake. Blinking twice, she presses her eyes shut at the intruding light. All she can think is that it's brighter than it should be and it only dawns on her then that she isn't in her room; in her bed. Donna's eyes flicker open now, pushing herself to a sitting position and when she hears a chuckle, her head snaps in the direction of the desk.

"Hello, sleepyhead."

She groans and tosses a pillow to his face before she runs a hand over her face to rub her eyes. Her movement making the paper wrinkle under her knee and she remembers then what it even was that she had been doing. "What time is it?"

"Quarter to five."

"Oh my god," she mumbles, scrambling to fix her dress and spreading out the wrinkled script. "Why the hell didn't you wake me?"

He caps his highlighter and drops it on his desk as he shrugs. "I don't know," he admits, "You looked peaceful… I guess I don't know."

"Harvey, I don't have time to sleep," she fires back. "I have to get these stupid lines memorised."

He watches her wave the papers in front of her face. "Donna, you know them."

"I don't."

"It was the biggest mistake I've ever made," he says then, "You're making that same mistake now."

"Ooh," she scoffs, throwing her hands in the air as she watches him. "You are off-book," she says, "how? How are you off book?"

"Because," he reasons as he gets up, snatching the script from her hand. "I've heard you mumble this a million times. You know this."

Donna sighs and leans back on her hands on the duvet. Deep down she knows he's right, but there's something about this shitty play that has her on edge. "It's not a part I have to do, though."

"Ooh," he frowns, now looking down at the sheets in his hand and he flips through them until he finds a part highlighted. Now assuming this is what Donna has to learn, he reads her one of the other lines in between and just as he expected she knows every single word that follows.

"Told you," Harvey smirks, handing her the script back.

She hides her smile, folding her hands around the rolled-up paper. She looks at it for a moment before glancing back up at Harvey again. "Thank you," she whispers, and as she notices him reaching for his notes and stacking them along with his books on the corner of his desk, she remembers his exam. "Do you need help studying?"

He bends down to snatch his bag from the floor, stuffing the books inside he shakes his head. "I promised Zane I'd meet her at the library," he answers, checking his watch. "In fact, I have to go now; you know how she is."

"Yeah," she chuckles, pushing herself to the edge of the couch she watches Harvey zip up his backpack and reach for his coat. She taps her hands against the duvet and follows him out of his room. "I'll walk down with you."

He nods but proceeds by telling her that she doesn't have to leave. She shrugs, tells him she knows but that she's also certain there isn't anything edible left in his fridge and that she doesn't want to order take out again.

She unlocks the door to her apartment, holding it open as he follows her inside when she tells him Rachel´s coat is still hanging in the hallway. He tosses the door shut behind them and they both shout a hello through the empty hall, and it gets a greeting of both Rachel and Mike in return.

"Told you," Donna smirks now, mimicking the way he had said it a couple of minutes ago as she enters the living room, she has just sat herself down on the couch next to Mike when the bell rings.

Harvey notices Donna already moving to stand again, but he halts her actions with a shake of his head. "I'll go," he says even though he's already back at the door, swinging it open in one fluid motion.

"One package for a miss Paulsen."

"Ooh, yeah," Harvey reaches out. "I'll take it. That's my girlfriend."

The man gives him a stare. "Sign here, please."

Harvey does as told, taking the plain cardboard box from the delivery man's hands. He shuts the door once more and walks back, suspiciously eyeing the box for any clue on its content.

"Hey, Donna," he calls out on his way back. "What did you -"

He never gets a chance to finish his sentence as the redhead jumps up from the couch, snatching the box from his hands and holding onto it for dear life. "Nothing," she lies through her teeth, having completely forgotten about her desperate midnight order from a week ago.

Harvey bobs his head to the side, studies her for a moment and then grins. "Is it for my birthday?"

She laughs, too loud for her liking as she rushes away to dump it in her room. "No," she yells back, "besides it's not your birthday that's coming up first, mister."

He purses his lips together and eyes her as she pushes the box under her bed. "So you got yourself a present," he reasons, brows still drew together in a frown as he tries to read her. "Anything exciting?"

"Maybe," she cocks her head to the side and challenges his remark with a raised brow. "But the more important question is what did you get me."

"It's a surprise."

"You're not getting away with a gift card this time."

"I know," he gives in. "But it's going to be the best give you've ever had. I'm sure."

She rolls her eyes at his smug grin, slaps his chest as she walks past him. "You've never given me a real present, Harvey."

"Well, you've never been my girlfriend before."

"Okay," Rachel snaps her fingers to get her friends attention, her hand falling on Harvey's shoulder next. "Are you two done eye-fucking each other so we can cram this test or?"

He winces, internally and he's so damn glad it is just that as Donna doesn't give an ounce either. A wink at him and a smile at Rachel, it takes him a moment to find his voice feeling his heart beating in his ears. He scrapes his throat and turns to look at his classmate. "Yeah," he stammers then, "let's cram this test."

Harvey shuffles on his spot and backs away to the hallway. Waiting for Rachel to follow him, he glances over his shoulder to Donna one more time. But his eyes don't meet hers; instead, he finds her watching the other couple.

Donna eyes Rachel bend down to give Mike a kiss and the moment their lips touch, she averts her gaze. Looking up, she finds him standing on the edge of the hallway; head turned down towards his feet. She swallows then, audibly and she folds her hands around the script in her lap again.

"Okay," Rachel mumbles, pulling away from Mike, she smiles and waves at Donna and then makes her way over to Harvey. "You ready?"

He straightens and gazes back up, nodding at her, Mike and Donna last. She returns his gaze this time around, a thin-lipped smile gracing her face, silently telling him good luck. He smiles too; it's a wordless you got this as he motions to the paper in her hands with a nod of his head. He turns around and follows Rachel at last.


End file.
